Quietness and God's provision

Today was my first day off. I slept in. Had tea. Talked on the phone. Ran errands, and had tea with a former classmate from Library School... who I ran into at the Library. I am enjoying a quiet apartment.

So, I have a job. I will be running a small library in a corporate setting. All by myself, with help from other associate libraries, esp. one of them. I am starting reading on this tomorrow. I have never done this type of work before and have MUCH to learn. I am thankful.

The good things about my DV new job:

*it is 4 days a week
*I have benefits
*it is a permanent job
*I can learn a lot professionally
*I can walk to work - no more buses!

The challenging things:

*less money (4 not 5 days a week of work/pay) but still enough (student loans will take longer to pay off but that is okay)
*new responsibility and lots of learning
*faster paced environment

I felt a bit overwhelmed this weekend, but had a lot of good conversations with people and am trying to stay peaceful and not worry.

I tend to worry about the unknown.

THANK YOU everyone who prayed for me. I did the salary negotiations on my last day of work at my former job. Incredible timing.

I now have 2 weeks off before starting my new job. I get to go shopping, study up for my new job, read books, cook and do errands.

God has been so good to me.

today

happy St. Valentine's day! :)

today i went to a wedding at my church and it was really special. and at the end i got to hold a special little baby, and stood at the back of church. this made my heart happy.

i realize i just used the word 'special' two times, but you know, it is an okay word...

sometimes it is hard to capture how one's feels, you know. perhaps that is because the feeling is so inward, that an outward expression of it is difficult.

i was near an icon of St. Elisabeth the new martyr; i held a child; i was with my church family; it is a safe, comforting thing. i think the nearest to explaining it is what i see when the priest's young daughter falls and hurts herself. if her father is near by and sees, he goes over, picks her up and holds her. it is beautiful and a deep thing to know that one can still be safe like that, even though i am now an adult.

becoming Orthodox is the best thing that ever happened to me, other than having a Christian family to grow up in. i am blessed and thank God for such immense grace.

books

i discovered Eusebius' _the history of the church_ today. am half way through reading the introduction. am reading a book on prayer. re-read _herb of grace_ by Elizabeth Goudge.

i have so much to read, i have dreams of someday understanding a bit more about things.

i ordered some books online (eight day books, yea!) and feel happy about this.

i had moved so much and changed directions so much that only now do i feel like parts of me are coming back - we will see where this leads.

meanwhile i am a lot happier, letting things come in, swirl and then settle around me.

another month, going by

well. i am briefly online.

my job is in it's demanding season and involves working online, at my computer in my small grey cubical. so when i come home i am quite tired and often a bit peopled/computered out.

so sorry to those i have not commented on blogs. i still read them, as time allows. and i still care about each one i read! :)

i got a new prayer book recently, and am still reading and re-reading _Christ is in our midst_ by Fr. John, a Russian Monk, (st vlads seminary press; it is still in print). this has been very good for me.

i have tomorrow off for Remembrance Day. i am relieved. i need a day to just be home. my house needs some serious attention!

i found myself thinking about my university days recently; now that i am in the Orthodox church everything before seems surprisingly incomplete; like i am seeing things on a whole new level and what i am seeing - about God, the Church, the Scriptures, is a lot better than i ever dreamed possible.

learning to live out one's Christian life in the Orthodox church to me seems to be the singularity most difficult and most life-altering and full of hope; it is like i never understood Christ or Easter (what we call Pasca) before i was Orthodox.

at the same time i know i must continue to grow - i am seeing glimpses of how my life can be as a Christian, but i must daily be committed to God and to working out my salvation.

wishing everyone God's peace and hope.

today on the new calendar

is st. John of Kronstadt and St. John of Rila's days.

i have been happy all day.

happy blessed day!

see this link for a lovely icon and information about St. John of Kronstadt:


http://benedictseraphim.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/st-john-of-kronstadt/

four years ago, two years ago

four years ago i went to liturgy at St. Herman's for the second time and went to the picnic at Kurt (now Dn Kurt) and Victoria's house, with Phil and Shannon. That began it all and by early October, when i went home for my sister's wedding, i was full of stories about this new church i was going to...

two years ago i came the first time to Ottawa and asked the priest there if i should come to confession. and so i came, after vespers, and soon realized that i had met my spiritual father. and i love my church and the routine and that today, on this lovely two year anniversary, i could go to vespers again...

i thank God for St. Herman's for bring me to the church and that four years later i am still here, in the Orthodox church that is now my home.

15 days

i found out that i have 15 (working) days of vacation! 3 weeks! wow.

one of the weeks i will take off is Holy Week, so that leaves 2 more weeks, plus a week for Christmas that i can have off, provided i make up the time later...

in my family, as my dad was and is self-employed, there never were paid vacations; no pension, no benefits. for me, then, to have all these things in the job is so incredible to me, i am overwhelmed by it.

my first day of work went well. i was tired - lots to take in - but by God's grace i was able to keep my wits about me...