Today was my last Monday at my current job. Tonight I am baking a cake for my small group at work to eat. Vanilla. I wish I had strawberries. If I have time, I may go get some.
I bought Indian takeout. Enough for three meals. Under five dollars for three meals. nice. It is a buffet and one is allowed two scoops of everything. I made lemonade, and have hot lemongrass tea with sugar.
It is hard for me to wait to see what job will come. But I am trying to really live during this time. Trust that God is taking care of me and to fight the fears that want to assail and conquer me. I am seeking to FIGHT them.
I am doing those things that are needed for my transition. Baking cake, buying small thank you cards and chocolate to give away, going to church, listening to music, praying, remembering God and calling my soul to see that even now, God is saving me.
Even now, God is saving me.
Showing posts with label sacramental presence of God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sacramental presence of God. Show all posts
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
today
happy St. Valentine's day! :)
today i went to a wedding at my church and it was really special. and at the end i got to hold a special little baby, and stood at the back of church. this made my heart happy.
i realize i just used the word 'special' two times, but you know, it is an okay word...
sometimes it is hard to capture how one's feels, you know. perhaps that is because the feeling is so inward, that an outward expression of it is difficult.
i was near an icon of St. Elisabeth the new martyr; i held a child; i was with my church family; it is a safe, comforting thing. i think the nearest to explaining it is what i see when the priest's young daughter falls and hurts herself. if her father is near by and sees, he goes over, picks her up and holds her. it is beautiful and a deep thing to know that one can still be safe like that, even though i am now an adult.
becoming Orthodox is the best thing that ever happened to me, other than having a Christian family to grow up in. i am blessed and thank God for such immense grace.
today i went to a wedding at my church and it was really special. and at the end i got to hold a special little baby, and stood at the back of church. this made my heart happy.
i realize i just used the word 'special' two times, but you know, it is an okay word...
sometimes it is hard to capture how one's feels, you know. perhaps that is because the feeling is so inward, that an outward expression of it is difficult.
i was near an icon of St. Elisabeth the new martyr; i held a child; i was with my church family; it is a safe, comforting thing. i think the nearest to explaining it is what i see when the priest's young daughter falls and hurts herself. if her father is near by and sees, he goes over, picks her up and holds her. it is beautiful and a deep thing to know that one can still be safe like that, even though i am now an adult.
becoming Orthodox is the best thing that ever happened to me, other than having a Christian family to grow up in. i am blessed and thank God for such immense grace.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Thoughts on a quiet evening
Wow. February 1, 2008 already.
I have been so busy – I had a sick day about two weeks ago and felt like it was restoring my sanity. Living in this world sure is hard! I used to think it was simple… HAHAHA. Sigh. That was when I was a student and not working full time.
Working full time, going to church on weekends and often midweek, plus one or two social things equals a very full week.
So here I am, ironically perhaps, on Friday night in my quiet apartment. I got yummy take-out Indian food and have been reading. But it would be a lot more fun if my kitchen was clean. Considering I am in my kitchen and only have a two-room apartment. At work someone thought I meant I had a two-bedroom apartment. Nope. Two rooms plus bathroom with bathtub (a must for all women I believe!) (okay well all North American women perhaps). Anyway. I am supposed to be cleaning so I am ready DV for my apartment to be blessed before Lent begins!
Who here is excited for Lent? I am beginning to be. To be honest with this past year and being on the old calendar, I really got tired from fasting – the apostles fast was so long and you know, I think I have still not fully recovered! Perhaps life is like that sometimes.
Oh… I have been thinking on and off about my last post and the comments. I am still not sure how to comment on them, as it were. I spoke with V. and said I was not sure what I thought. I think my confusion comes from not knowing if I am as bothered by something profane (if I were to call my work that or my colleagues… I think of righteous Lot and think well maybe I am not yet that righteous) as much as feeling left out. It’s true. Surely some human normal reaction, esp. since I well I don’t really fully fit popular culture today. I like what was popular culture when people believed that a person had a soul.
Stacy on the Orthodork Café (google this and you will find it) wrote of a book by Philip Sherrard The Sacred In Life and Art and from what I have read of the book description from 8 Day Books I think it has a lot to do with what I am struggling with.
Half of it I think has to do with plain wanting to not be so different (not that I am going to change, I know better now) and half of it is that the others believe the lie that there is no soul, no God, no sacramental world full of the glory and presence of God.
Well. There it is. My thoughts. Wishing all who read this God’s blessing and reassurance in the midst of the battles of this life.
I have been so busy – I had a sick day about two weeks ago and felt like it was restoring my sanity. Living in this world sure is hard! I used to think it was simple… HAHAHA. Sigh. That was when I was a student and not working full time.
Working full time, going to church on weekends and often midweek, plus one or two social things equals a very full week.
So here I am, ironically perhaps, on Friday night in my quiet apartment. I got yummy take-out Indian food and have been reading. But it would be a lot more fun if my kitchen was clean. Considering I am in my kitchen and only have a two-room apartment. At work someone thought I meant I had a two-bedroom apartment. Nope. Two rooms plus bathroom with bathtub (a must for all women I believe!) (okay well all North American women perhaps). Anyway. I am supposed to be cleaning so I am ready DV for my apartment to be blessed before Lent begins!
Who here is excited for Lent? I am beginning to be. To be honest with this past year and being on the old calendar, I really got tired from fasting – the apostles fast was so long and you know, I think I have still not fully recovered! Perhaps life is like that sometimes.
Oh… I have been thinking on and off about my last post and the comments. I am still not sure how to comment on them, as it were. I spoke with V. and said I was not sure what I thought. I think my confusion comes from not knowing if I am as bothered by something profane (if I were to call my work that or my colleagues… I think of righteous Lot and think well maybe I am not yet that righteous) as much as feeling left out. It’s true. Surely some human normal reaction, esp. since I well I don’t really fully fit popular culture today. I like what was popular culture when people believed that a person had a soul.
Stacy on the Orthodork Café (google this and you will find it) wrote of a book by Philip Sherrard The Sacred In Life and Art and from what I have read of the book description from 8 Day Books I think it has a lot to do with what I am struggling with.
Half of it I think has to do with plain wanting to not be so different (not that I am going to change, I know better now) and half of it is that the others believe the lie that there is no soul, no God, no sacramental world full of the glory and presence of God.
Well. There it is. My thoughts. Wishing all who read this God’s blessing and reassurance in the midst of the battles of this life.
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