Bright Sadness: My Aunt Karen's Funeral

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My Aunt Karen's funeral was beautiful and I cried (quietly) a few times.

The sermon from the pastor was very well done, heartfelt and full of 

the Gospel and also comfort while facing deep trials and struggles.

***

I was able to do some prayers for my +Aunt by her casket this morning

and read Psalm 23 one last time (of me seeing her body) ... of course I will keep

praying Psalms for my +Aunt.... I nearly bawled after doing that but

held my wooden prayer rope tight as I did not want to break down in 

weeping and call attention to myself. 

***

I am so glad it is Bright Week, even though while being home

I am not with my beloved Husband.

I hope to visit with more family this week and that is a blessing.

Bright Monday night, Bright Tuesday and Bright Wednesday

Bright Monday at night we went

to a fun Prix Fixe dinner and 

then went to the organic health food store where

we stock up on our favourite 'were sick juice' and other things.

***

Bright Tuesday was a busy day,

cleaning, laundry, putting things away.

We had a 'Walton's date' at night.

When I watch wholesome shows like this one,

my heart is lighter and untroubled.

It's like truth shining forth proclaiming itself in all goodness.

***

Holy Wednesday Mr. Husband was home.

I still have a cold/cough and at times not much voice,

so I ended up taking not 1 but 2 naps and having a lot of rest.

We had wonderful festive leftovers (from takeout the day before) for dinner.

We find the portions that restaurants here give us are quite large;

we figured out that what we had was enough for 5 meals, so the price becomes

quite reasonable for such a treat.

We watched about 20 minutes of another Walton's episode too!

***

I found myself yesterday pondering the following question...

 What if the time you are in right now is one of the happiest you will know in your life,

but you think it is just a normal or good day of your normal life? 

Or perhaps today or this time is the happiest you will know before Heaven,

though perhaps you knew happier in the past.

What would you do differently? Would you see it for the wonder it is? Will your heart

fill with thanksgiving for the day, the moment at hand?

***

I also find myself remember Elizabeth Goudge's writings on how you 

can have a peaceful inward fortress even in the most dire, even the most dirty,

circumstances.... Happiness or peace is not dependent on outward circumstances...

***

Today is the earlier hours of Bright Thursday.

I find myself listening to this again and again:

This glorious song came out the last Pascha I knew

before learning and meeting the man who would become my Husband. 

That Pascha was really special.

I remember being so excited to be dressed in Paschal white,

doing my hair, make up, I had a real sense of meeting Christ in Pascha,

that we were going to the wedding itself, after meeting the Bridegroom

on Friday night in His tomb.

I had some stupid thoughts that I remember going to confession for that Holy Friday night,

I think it prepared me for the blessing of the real sense of going to meet Christ,

of going to the Eternal Pascha, the joyous wedding that will not end. 

A friend later said that she thought I looked like a Bride that Pascha.

By the next Pascha, I was with my almost-finance Mr. Husband...

we got engaged that Pascha afternoon, a beautiful sunny Pascha... 

and went to the Greek Monastery the next day, Bright Monday.

and got our wedding crowns... it was so wonderful, so beautiful, so joyful.

We were excited as young kids, jubilant and joyous,

as if we were flung into a the most beautiful meadow and all was full of rejoicing....

***

I know now that some Paschas are harder,

like last year, when we were 24 hours into grieving for Mr Husband's 

suddenly departed adult godson.

***

This Pascha had a lot of joy, but also felt marred with a certain sense of

irrevocable sadness at times.

That some of the early happiness at Paschas may not happen again...

at the same time, I sense that perhaps the sadness is that which still needs

to be healed within me, but that it takes time.

***

This is another of my favourite Pascha songs....
I am so thankful for such beauty and truth in our lives!

***

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen! 

Two blankets, a sock, scarf, hat for this year's Bright Week Yarn Along

Making progress on the baby square blanket.

This blanket lives in this wonderful 

drawstring bag that Wanda makes!

 

Did a little work on my baby hat but

will need some guidance...

finished the little doll blanket

that was a practice run for me late last Spring...

My sock for Mr. Husband.

I forgot how/to join in the round and did a few 

rows all on one needle, as you can see above.

But I am feeling more like I can do this,

in time... but most likely I will just 

frog and have my instructor begin it for me again

and walk me through it all...

I don't think I can do this until after I move as I will have

to devote some real time and concentration

so that I don't forget what I am doing! :)

Excited to keep trying though! :)

The Lovie blanket is over half way now!

Am on the decrease! 

Ravelry here. 

Books I read before bed...

Orthodox Study Bible,

the Bible and Fathers for Orthodox 

which has the readings for the day,

and I just last night finished my very beloved

With Elder Porphyrios: A spiritual child remembers

which was such a life-giving book

that I am sure to revisit and that

I can't say enough about:

one of my top reads for this year, without doubt.

Written with such sensitivity and 

with a way that brings us in and gives us great hope

for ourselves in Christ.

*

We've been having a beautiful Bright Week!

Perhaps this week is known in the 

West as Easter Week or Eastertide...

here's our Bright Monday table:

Easter (we use word Pascha, which is where

the term Paschal season comes from)...  

Christ is Risen!!!

Truly He is Risen!

*

Our table is spread!

The Feasting has begun!

*

What has your week been like?

What are you reading and making?

Do yarn along with us!

Christ is Risen! Joyous Pascha!

Christ is Risen!
The world rejoices!
Christ is Risen!
Death is not our captor!
Christ is Risen!
Nothing, no NOTHING, can separate us from Christ's love!
Christ is Risen!
In Holy Pascha we are never alone but all together!
Christ is Risen!
We have the hope of Christ's mercy and a heavenly home!
Christ is Risen!
We have His words of promise of the land where no sorrow is!
Christ is Risen!
All evil is defeated!
Christ is Risen!
Our hearts rejoice!

We had a beautiful first Pascha as a married couple!

Mr. Husband's basket has the Doritos :)
Dutch cheese, the Pascha bread and cheese,
A red and white Rushnyk
from my Ukrainian family for our Pascha basket.  

Wonderfully died eggs!

Our hope of eternal life with Christ!
Oh, how wonderful heaven is!
Pascha is a day outside of days!
Heaven comes to join us on this most
Holy Day!

Our true and sure hope
is in Christ and
His Resurrection!

Blessed St. George's Day today!
Bright and Holy Monday!

We had a beautiful Pascha day!
Mr. Husband and I wore traditional
white embroidered shirts
for Pascha day at Agape vespers...
The shirts were a beautiful wedding gift to us
from one of my dear friends from my
parish in Ottawa.

Wooden Pascha Ukrainian Pansky eggs.
*
I put the Pascha Rushnyk on the
table with white table cloth for Pascha.

This egg is real and a gift from
the Matriarch of my Ottawa Parish a few
Paschas ago;
it is one of my beloved treasures,
esp. as it is from this family.
I made the Pascha icon a few Pascha's ago
and it was blessed by my Ottawa spiritual father.

Icons of Christ's Resurrection
and the icon of Bright Friday
and Paschal festal clear lampadas for the feast!

 

The tall candles in the candle holders were
a thoughtful Christmas gift
from a new and dear church friend here in NJ!
I knew right away I would save them for Pascha.
We were given the bread and cheese Pascha from
a caring parishioner here in NJ.

It was such a joy to make a simple
Pascha meal and table for
Mr. Husband and I last night!
*
We stayed in a hotel suite from Holy Wednesday-Pascha
so we did not have to make long car trips daily.
I made it to Pascha by God's mercy.
*
I am tired,
have either allergies or a cold
and am thankful that it is Bright Monday and
that Mr. Husband and I can rest in the joyous light of
Christ's Pascha!
*
Of course I missed my Ottawa Parish ~
but I was able to pray for many in the Parish on
Pascha and that was a real blessing.
And I am thankful for a joyous Pascha with Mr. Husband!
Our first as a married couple!
A year ago Pascha we were engaged to be married
and now we are here,
almost 7 months as newlyweds!
*
Christ is Risen!
Truly He is Risen!!!

Thoughts on this Brightest of Wednesdays

Today (old calendar) is the

Feast of the Annunciation.

Bright Wednesday

and

the Feasts that signifies the beginning of our salvation.

A friend of one of my dear friends was in town

and prayed with us in church.

A very special day, for which I am so thankful for.

I have been thinking about what it means to grow up;

I am 33 now; some think this is young, some not as young.

All I know is that I need to continue to grow up.

It is confusing - what does it mean to be an adult,

what does it mean to be single and a professional and female?

I see all around me so many of my friends married,

bearing children; to them this is what growing up means,

becoming a Mother.

But what does it mean to grow up

as a single professional female with a masters

(library science for me)

who will, Lord willing, be a working professional.

Who may or may not marry,

who may or may not have children.

What does it mean to learn to leave home

to not cleave to one's parents

but still have no husband to go to?

***

I am slowly learning how to navigate this,

but the road is not easy,

straightforward or

clear cut.

***

I would love to hear your thoughts on what you feel it means

to mature into adulthood,

in whatever situation life has given you.

***

Blessed Bright Week to all!

***

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!!!

Christ is Risen!

Christ is Risen!

Hello on the night of Bright Monday.

Pascha was very bright and glorious at my church here in Ottawa.

***

On Saturday I had, hours before Pascha, the added joy of

becoming (first time for me) a godmother of a very lovely young adult*

who officially entered the catechumenate.

I take this responsibility very seriously and know that God have given it to me

not because I am worthy as much

as because I know that God works in our weaknesses

for His kingdom!

***

Today I went back to school,

yes, on Bright Monday.

But I rested the rest of the day...

I must say I was quite tired out from Holy Week, Pascha

and the feast we had after Agape Vespers.

So today was quiet.

I cleaned

and rested.

Tomorrow I must resume my French studies in earnest.

***

Blessed Bright Week to you all!!

***

(*Sorry no names or pictures, it is a policy on my blog to have neither).