(Day 12) without Cleo: Slava Dinner Prep, Church and Table-Art

I am still getting texts about Cleo (as in in sympathy) or having

to relay information to others about her. 

But, I will always hold love in my heart for my dear Cleo Cat who 

graced my lives and my heart for 13+ years... 

***

As you see, the table is set for tomorrow.

I have a LONG list of things to do tomorrow for this.

Today I prepared the beef, halved the Brussels sprouts for roasting, 

boiled the small potatoes (also for roasting), set the table 

and prepared the gift St Phanourios bread.

***

Cheese and Crackers at 5 and dinner at 5:30

so that we can have a young lady in attendance with a 7 PM bedtime routine :) 

***

I was so very excited to bring out the St Phanourios icon 

(it's always out on the wall in our chapel/library/guest room)

after our evening prayers today!

***

May God have mercy on all of us!

(Day 9) without Cleo: buffet finished, falafel and fire trucks

The page below (which I recommend reading!)

is from the introduction by Glady's Tabor's daughter

who assisted in the publication and wrote the introduction to the book

Still Cove Journal by her Mother, 

published after Glady's (and later her cat Amber) died. 

When I read the introduction, I felt waves of sadness about my dear 

Cleo Cat dying and being gone.  

Later this afternoon the feeling was quite deep

 and it's not an easy emotion to have; each day the grief is wound

up in a different way, like strands of thread slowly being discovered,

each a distinct colour, some vivid, some indistinct. 

I can tell I am going to love reading Gladys Tabor and am so so glad

for authors who clearly have provided comfort for others.

I also have Glady's book on her cat Amber, though I have not read it yet.

I bought it this summer, before I knew my Cleo Cat was dying.

I did not know that this book was one of Glady's last.

I can see how God is dropping pebbles in the beach that I am walking

unexpectedly, with the loss of my Cleo Cat. 

The comfort she had given me over the years was so much,

the loss of her is going to take some time.

And I remember telling my Mom on Monday, when I was still in tears actually,

that at the beginning of this summer I had no idea that at the end of the summer,

I would lose my Cleo Cat.

My Mom's sentiment, that it is often best not to know in advance these things,

is haunting me a bit more than normal... 

I guess because I know my Mom has lived long enough to really experience this.

***

I am slowly reading Mother Alexandra's book, that she wrote when she was still 

married and was Princess Ileana of Romania, 

I Live Again which is, so far, the story of her life before she came to the States

and how the war and her exile from Romania, the country she loved with all her heart,

was like her dying before she died.  

She had to learn to live again and keep living even though her heart was left behind,

in Romania.  It's quite powerful and poignant of a read. 

Tea and a vegan Russian cookie :)

While one one but myself can really tell,

I rearranged some of my pantry. 

If you are newer to my blog, this pantry is a 4x5 closet that my friend N,

when she saw it unused and cluttered when we were doing the house

inspection before buying it, said it would make a great pantry

and I immediately dreamed of wooden shelves in it,

which my father-in-law made come true... 

It's kind of like my own little grocery store, I realize...

And I also realize that I am going to have to start baking again soon

for Christmas and I am so glad I have a good start on the supplies I will need

for this baking! :)  Tomorrow I hope to make the St Phanourios bread for

this Sunday's meal...for our 7th wedding anniversary and Slava

(the meal for one's family's Patron Saint)... 

A card my Mom found at a thrift store, cute eh? :)

I got some pretty German dishes on display on the new buffet... am really pleased 

with this set up! And my Husband loves these dishes, which we picked out 

together at the VNA rummage sale a few years ago... 

Firefighters came suddenly while we were waiting for our falafel to be made...

at least 5 fire trucks! The first picture is of one of the fire fighters with a chain saw

opening up the roof...smoke was coming out of it!

Such dangerous work! God bless the fire fighters!!! 

My Husband (we prayed first!) successfully put the drawer back! 

So now the buffets are all set and if one is not looking closely,

I think they would think that it is one big piece instead of two...

I am glad it's two pieces though, I think for later, 

someday, when we DV move from our condo,

it will be nice to have them small and easier to place in a new 

home, one that we have no idea of now other than the idea of 

something after this one. 

(We have no plans on moving at present, just a vague notion of not 

retiring one day where we now live).

Sorry for the blurry picture above!

I was talking with my Mom on the phone the other day and

refilling our soap dispensers and did not realize that I put 

liquid hand soap in the liquid dish soap dispenser...

today I fixed that...luckily the Dutch Delft hand soap dispenser

was needing a refill and I poured it all out and refilled the 

one on top (in this picture, which is plastic and therefore lightweight

when empty and dripping out the last bits) with liquid dish soap.

I thought it was a funny mistake to make... :)

***

Oh, I forgot if I mentioned that our friend told me,

whose land we buried Cleo on, in a lovely garden,

that her grave is fine, he checks it every day.

Such a comfort... 

***

Well, tomorrow I hope to bake the bread I mentioned 

and do laundry and begin preparing for the Slava / Wedding Anniversary 

meal! I got the groceries for it today

and have a list of all that I need to do! 

One of the things I did at the library yesterday was make these lists... 

***

I was sent this beautiful music today

It's worth a listen.

***

It is so good to stay in today and be with God.

I can't say I am good at doing this yet

but it really is the only way.

***

God bless each of you...

(Day 6) without Cleo: Church, a touching gift, great food and a holiday weekend

Church this morning...still in blue for the Mother of God,

as the Feast of her Dormition is still ongoing. 

I loved these heart shaped cookies in Ottawa... 

I remember I had a friend over for tea 

with these cookies and strawberries...

I felt that the cookies were better in Ottawa 

but no matter, it was nice to have again.

The store bought blini with strawberries, French Vanilla Ice Cream and a dusting of cocoa...

so so good! I love this treat! 

Granny Marigold asked about blini and if I make this...no, I never had...but I used to 

make crepes which I find are similar though this blini is so wonderful, 

so paper-thin, I totally want to buy this again! 

I had leftover (frozen) chicken gravy...

And leftover turkey from Thanksgiving...

And wide noodles + a small bag of mixed (organic) vegetables...

I cooked up the noodles, defrosted the gravy,

got the turkey ready and mixed the noodles, vegetables and turkey together.

I had to switch to my white casserole dish as my blue one,

which I was going to use, was too small! 

I added the chicken gravy on top and baked at 425 for about 20 minutes

and then lowering the temp to 300 or so as the top was just beginning

to burn!  It was so good!

I made cranberry sauce while that was baking!

(1 bag cranberries, 1 cup water with 1 cup sugar

brought to boil and then add cranberries and bring to boil again

and then simmer for 10 minutes and you are done!)

It was like a simple Thanksgiving Meal! 

So good! 

Tomorrow I hope to remember to add some French-fried onions 

on top...Mr Husband reminded me of this! 

A dear friend, S., gave me this small planted cutting.

It is from an older cutting of a plant that her priest

in MA has in his house, for many years.

It's an Angel-Wing Begonia and she gave it to us

in honour and in memory of Cleo Cat.

I was really touched but felt like I could not respond in words

very profusely as I did not want to start crying... 

I really hope we are able to keep this dear plant alive and well!

We plan on doing research on it tomorrow...  

One of the many similarities between Mr Husband and I are 

that we are both Dutch in heritage and collected Dutch Delft pottery!

My Husband has 2 of these cute little sleeping kitty cat pieces

so I put one on the sewing table where I could see it... 

my Angel-holding-the-kitty is there too...

***

So here' a super cute picture of Cleo...I need to find the blog post

that it is originally in so that I can get a jpeg of it so I can print it... 

the photo below of it is a .png and is not as clear for any picture beyond

wallet size.  It's super cute though, so I will do the work to find it...

I know it's in our first apartment and probably in 2013 or early 2014 so

it won't be too hard to find, I hope :)

This one really captures Cleo's cute side I think :)

Boy, I sure miss her. 

I almost made it without crying today 

(would have been the first day since I learned she is dying) but

I was looking through pictures, Mr Husband went to bed and 

the tears came.  But I think that's good.

We talked earlier tonight about how one of our favourite times

of the day is when I read the Tolkien letters while Mr Husband listens

and he commented how Cleo would always join us for that

and how we are not a family of 3 any more...

Yeah. Our dear Cleo... we miss you Cleo! 

***

Well... I sure am blessed with so much support... thanks everyone 

for your comments, etc... 

***

I have a cooking question: 

for the Slava I hope to make the yummy 

red-wine-onion-beef dish:

Beef Bourguignonne

Here's the question as I put earlier on social media: 

Cooking question: Beef Bourguignonne -- Ruth Reichl's early book calls for 3 cups red wine - Julia Child's does too - but Ruth's is 2 lb beef chuck cubed and Child's 3 lbs beef chuck cubed. Ruth's calls for 1 cup beef broth, Child's 2-3 cups beef broth. I want to do 4 lbs of beef (.5 lb/person for 8 people). Should I use just 3 cups wine + 2-3 cups beef broth and call it good? Ruth's marinades the beef (with wine + onions, carrots, parsley, bay leaf, 1 clove garlic, 10 black pepper corns and 1 tsp salt) for TWO days. The beef broth in Ruth's recipe is added when you cook it for 3 hours at 300F at the end of the recipe. With added 1 lb meat, should I add more wine for marinade (I easily could, I was given a double sized bottle of red wine a while ago). I would be doubling the amount of beef in Ruth's recipe. Should I double the carrots and onions? garlic? Thoughts, opinions, etc?

***

Would love any of your thoughts on this also! 

***

Well.  It is time for bed now. 

I did not have the best sleep last night.

Lots of dreams about Cleo.

And then I fell asleep in the (1+hr) drive to church this morning...

and I dreamt that our priest there was praying

and censing the church because Cleo died...

it was comforting

(of course I know that this is not actually what the Orthodox do,

it was a dream).... 

***

I see so many many ways that God is being good to me in this time of loss.

And I am so glad I can write about it as part of my life that I share here.

I really value this and all of my blog friends who have come

along side me throughout the years! 

***

I pray that each of you finds yourself protected, upheld, and comforted

no matter what is going on for you in your life...

God bless each of you!