Holy Week Hurdles

First, my friend A. bought me this shawl that Mat Anna made

and gave it to me before I left for CA+ AZ.  And yes, that's me 

in the picture...anyway... back to the shawl! 

I love it and did not have time before now to show it to you all! 

Mat Anna makes beautiful things!

Including this beautiful baby blanket - perfect for a baptism gift!

(I should know, we gave one to our last 2 godchildren!!!)

***

OK. Soooooo... Holy Week has what we Orthodox Christians like to call

'temptations'.... they are often an unexpected challenge - from things breaking,

to interpersonal conflict, to super stressful things, accidents, injury or even

tragedy.  They come, sometimes, in spades. And of course

there are years in one's life that are heavy on these things.

Hard....

***

I am very blessed in that we are right now in good health - my cold seems to be gone -

we don't have the flu - but .... I too have been a bit blindsided by things.

***

My Aunt Karen, who I visited in early March, is dying.

They tried a medical procedure, it was not effective.

It is clear that she has good care, she's just very ill and 

there's no much more that can be done.

She is in ICU still I believe and we are going to lose her,

probably this week but only God knows. 

So that's super HARD.

She is a very beloved Wife, Mother, Aunt, Grandmother...

She's super special to me personally.

I am SO VERY GLAD I got to see her 2x in MI in early March.

Grief and loss is hard.

***

And our ongoing unbloggable stress just ramped up to another new level.

Lots of unknowns. I can't really talk about it other than to say that

and that thank God it is not an issue in our marriage or family and not 

a health concern as much as a stress-concern in other areas. 

***

But, I know that many are having huge struggles, 

we are by no means alone or having the worst of them.

Of course it is best to not compare to others right?

Rather, look to Christ and for His mercy.

***

The thing that temptations also entail is that they can shift/throw off one's focus

on Christ completely... it's Holy Week...

I just pray that God can help me be present to the services as much as 

I can be able to and that He will carry us all to HIS glorious Pascha. 

Palm Sunday, Lazarus Saturday, and Holy Week!

It's all beginning! 

We had a really nice Palm Sunday... and were

back in church for Bridegroom Matins...

we went out afterwards with our favourite 

older candle desk man to our dinner 

for dinner....

***

My Aunt is in ICU and is stable.

She is having a new medical treatment

and we really did not know if it would go well.

So far it's going much better than expected.

Lots of people have been praying.

***

I may not update much this week.

Wishing everyone a blessed Holy Week

and a Blessed Easter-tide to all who celebrated today!

***

May the Good Lord carry us to Pascha! 

Holy Thursday ~ many services, thanksgiving and the imprint of Holy Week within one's soul

It was a beautiful morning liturgy.

In the afternoon I slept and rested.

Met up with our dear friends for dinner, 

had delicious lenten middle eastern food!

Warm and comforting.

The 12 Gospels Service was tonight,

I still miss how we did it in Ottawa,

with bowing when saying

Glory to Your Long-suffering or

Glory to Your Passion O Lord...

on the other hand, I don't remember 

the Cross being taken out and the song that is sung

after the 6th Gospel...

so moving... 

It was a really wonderful time to have dear friends in church with us

for this service, they are moving in about 3 months and I really

treasure that we had this night together at church...

I think that was the most noticeable part for me tonight,

just being in church with these friends and seeing so many of my

church friends and their kids (including the Munchkin of course!) come

and just being together...

I realized that this is going to be my 5th Pascha here in New Jersey.

In a lot of ways I feel more settled and like I understand

what to look forward to/what to expect and that's a real blessing.

It's Mr Husband and I's 6th Pascha together, he came up to 

Ottawa for our first Pascha together

and we got engaged on Pascha / Sunday afternoon,

in my beautiful blue apartment that the Mother of God

got for me a few years before.

Such happy memories.

At times I have been surprised at how much struggle and sorrow we have had

in the last years, and this year with Mr Husband's illness,

and various losses we have had... 

But yet I am aware of how much warmth my Husband brings to my life.

How blessed we are to have our marriage. How blessed we are to have our

two NJ Churches and dear friends and church family... 

And I really appreciated the first Gospel reading and how Christ

says we will have sorrow but that in the end we will have joy.

I am feeling a deeper anticipation to be with our Lord tomorrow 

in His Passion.

It is a deep honour to be at His tomb and to lament with His Mother.

My dear friends in Ottawa still get roses for our dear Lord Christ 

for me to have by His tomb, there in my Ottawa church,

which will always have such a deep part of my life;

I feel like the ethos of Holy Week is imprinted on my soul

from my time there and I understand Pascha because of my 7

Paschas in Ottawa.  

I was given the blessing to understand how much Pascha is going

to the wedding feast to meet our Risen Christ,

our Bridegroom and it is to HIM that we are running to,

it is to Christ, our Bridegroom that our hearts long for 

and love...and it is only Christ who can comfort us completely

now and make everything new again when He comes...

may He remember us in His Kingdom as He remembers

the Wise Thief and promises Him Paradise! 

Holy Tuesday and an anniversary for the Munchkin

Today was the Munchkin's 

baptism anniversary.

He was so excited for his special day treat of a 

happy face pancake at the dinner!

(He kept talking about it and by 3 pm he was saying,

only 2 more hours and by 4:30 he was trying to talk me into going early!

Mr Husband and I love to tease him about his beloved

happy face pancake... 

and I kept saying, so you will get a sad face pancake,

with no chocolate chips, right? ;) 

We had fun with that meal! 

We were texting Mr Husband and the Munchkin's

Mom pictures of us goofing off with big sunglasses,

his meal and big smile, and we made it to church early, 

he got to talk with our nearby church priest and get his blessing.

Munchkin is growing up and not always needing my help

to do prayers at icons and I am so glad to see him grow...

as much as I will miss the things I did when he was young,

I know that part of my job as 'God-Aunt' is to grow him up

and help him be independent and, I hope, help plant

seeds of love of Christ, of hope and love of the Church... 

I love seeing him happy and having good days

and loving church... 

of course when he gets tired with the long services,

we let him draw (he is usually drawing something related to the 

Church and his imagination/what he has been thinking of) and I have

a little pusheen wallet that is like a little toy that he likes to hold

and play with.  Helps for the long evening services.

That way he loves church and builds up endurance by having the 

needed 'breaks' that anyone would need to gain this.

He also helped me decorate for Pascha (I knew he wanted to do 

something with Easter eggs and that is all I had for him!) and

we even watched parts of Mr Husband and I's wedding video

because our far-away priest is in it and of course Munckin was

curious about it, after looking at pictures of our wedding...

It was so funny, when he got to the newly married 

husband and wife section, and saw a picture of us

"smooching" as he would say (quoting snoopy basically or Calvin and Hobbes),

he would say 'ewwwwww' ... we had the same thing with nieces....

of course this means we have a sure fire way to do extra teasing... ha! 

And so our day ended with Bride Groom Matins and 

then reading the story of David and Goliath 

(we were seeing if it was true that David used the sword on Goliath) and 

then all about Saul who became St Paul ...

we ended up discussing both St Peter and St Paul and how they both

made big mistakes but repented and became great Saints.

It was following up with the discussion we had about 

the difference between repentance and despair... 

Someone on IG asked us how our Holy Week was going and 

I said, basically, 

"having trouble focusing but trusting in God's mercy"...

it's hard, this, I find. But I trust that this too can be used by God...

and if you read the words of the service, and how 

the Harlot repented and saw her self as a sinner...

if I can only learn to see myself as this and throw myself at God,

trusting in His mercy, 

well, what else is there to do?

One challenge with this is that repentance, I was told years ago by my

Ottawa spiritual father, is not a feeling.

You may not feel (or cry tears) deeply repentant but continuing 

to go to Confession and seek to change sins into virtue,

 or at least not loose sight of this, 

is what we are called to...

Basically 'we are called to be faithful, not successful' even in 

what we would like to see in terms of growth

in the spiritual life...  

***

Well, tomorrow is Holy Wednesday, we hope to be at our

far-away church the rest of the week

and Munchkin will be reunited with his Mom and get to have

some special times in this most special week.

***

May God protect us all and carry us to His Holy Pascha! 

Holy Monday with the Munchkin

Munchkin and I had a good day.

Lit candles, prayers, books, Mary Poppins, dinner,

Bridegroom Matins (plus prayers by icons with candles!)

at night... and then a discussion of

Samson then St Peter and St Paul along with Judas

and the difference between despair and repentance

and all about God's love.

Also discussion of solipsism (really, and not before bed!)

that began with 'I feel like everything is a dream' ... !

and discussion of the Mets, world events (from 9/11 to Syria,

watch this incredible and Christian response), to +Patrick,

to Cleo, miso soup with seaweed, chocolate cake,

baptism anniversaries, and when Mr Husband asked the 

Munchkin if "Aunt Elizabeth was meeting your minimum spec"

and then explained what that meant,

he used the word "awesome" which was really cute.

We saw a dear nearby friend at church

and when I stayed talking with her,

Mr Husband told me later that he told the Munchkin that

"women like to talk a lot"!!! so funny.

I can see the Munckin growing up;

he read some of the morning prayers himself;

when we praying with candles and icons just today

(I had told him it was coming, that he would not always need me),

he prayed for others himself instead of having me do so

after listing who he wanted prayers for.

He's growing up.

I pray that he continues to grow well and be rooted in 

Christ and His Church...

And tomorrow, is the second day of Holy Week,

may God protect us!

Bread Houses and Pink Blanket Progress in the best week of the year

 The Lovie blanket is progressing. 

I am decreasing now.

{Mr. Husband says this is the St. John the Baptist section,

as in I must decrease and He increase :) } 

I am reading right now about

Bread Houses that 

Nadezhda Savova began.

*

Mr. Husband just finished reading this article in 

the fall 2013 issue of Road to Emmaus

and was telling me all about these Red Houses

and I was like, Red Houses?

and he corrected me, no:

Bread Houses

that are connecting people from different ages, ethnicity, religion, 

helping orphans and elderly, bringing peace.

*

I am thinking of getting her book also.

FYI, she is the 2012 National Geographic 

traveler of the year.

It all began when she was on Pilgrimage and learned that

Bethlehem means House of Bread

and then her Grandmother's house (which was now hers) roof fell in...

and suddenly she began the first Bread House 

as soon as the roof was restored...

you can read about it in print here.

*

Excited to join Ginny's Yarn Along!

Even more excited that it is Holy Week!

Mr. Husband and I DV will be at the Wednesday night 

matins and unction service tonight!

*

Blessed Holy Week and Easter/Pascha to all!

*

Holy Friday and morning of Holy Saturday

It was beautiful.

 

Just like Christmas,
everything feels a bit off-cue.
*
I am realizing how different every church's
Holy Friday services are,
though blog post pictures and
my own experience.
*
Some of my friends are going through
incredibly heart-breaking situations right now
in the midst of Holy Week.
*
I am at times doing well;
I have a very good new parish with many kind people ~
I am very grateful, I could enumerate many examples
of their goodness;
yet at times I am deeply homesick for my Ottawa Parish
and my spiritual father who would greet us on Pascha.
I am grateful for Mr. Husband and his kindness.
He even got me some white flowers
to give to Christ at the shroud.
*
My throat has been sore for
a couple days and I am very tired.
Everyone is so kind in thinking that I will
be fully well and healed for Pascha
but that may not be what God desires
for me this year.
We are being saved in many ways
and sickness is one of God's ways.
We must rejoice in all things.
*
Mr. Husband went to the morning liturgy today
while I stayed home trying to rest
and recover so I can go to the Pascha service.
*
We all long for the Great and Holy Pascha
with Christ in eternity.
Oh Lord, come soon!
Oh Holy Pascha of Christ!
May we be saved and live in Christ in
His eternal Pascha!

Yarn Along~lots of Christmas Scarves and blankets...

On Monday my new needles came
and I had fun experimenting!
This was done on size 19 needles.
Made a looking nice few rows,
but was too loose for
the next baby blanket I want to make...
I am looking forward however to trying this needle
with a thicker yarn...

I started another scarf this week!
I will be doing lots of them
as I have 15 nephews and nieces!

This yarn is really fun to work with
though I find it a bit inconsistent,
as it seems to thin out at times.

I am also having fun,
surprisingly so,
at fixing things.
I got the best socks ever
from a friend and wore them so much
that they already needed to be darned.

I am also slowly fixing up a bunch of slippers
that my Oma made for us over the years
and that I have kept.

I still need to finish off my last dish cloth...

I experimented with the size 15 needles
and have decided to use these for my next
baby blanket.
I am using baby wool English Garden
for the next blanket.

And the first baby blanket is almost done!
I learned a lot while doing it
and look forward to doing another one...

I got a blue and multi-coloured
bands done and am on a pear coloured one again.

I am slowly finishing up two other scarves...
the orange one for my godson,
the green one is a Christmas gift...

 

I could not resist trying out my number 6 needles
and doing a tiny scarf :)
I am thinking it may be for a teddy bear outfit
or something like this...
*
I am still reading,
actually almost done,
with Madeleine L'Engle's
summer of the Great-Grandmother.
It's been a very engrossing read;
I read it years back but so many years ago
in my undergraduate years
and now I am about 8 years past my Master's degree in
Library Science
and dated and married Mr. Husband almost 7 months ago
so I come to her book at a very different time in
my life and find her descriptions of her family,
the many adventures, tragedies and events they
had and lived through
and of course,
noticed the words about knitting in the dark when
candles were too expensive
and making clothes out of old draperies and
ball gowns when poverty was a reality
to these intelligent, resourceful and well-educated women...
*
This week is Holy Week and Mr. Husband and I hope
to go to various services.
I am very thankful for all the prayers for my behalf
as I've still be recovering from the mono that came to me
this past February.
*
Can't wait for Pascha!
*
Won't you yarn along with us?

And now Holy Week Begins!

My cake was a success.
First time I used cherries with it.
I had help with the inspiration of it. :)

 

And now Holy Week begins!
Wishing all of my Orthodox blogging community
a blessed Holy Week!