Tuesday, August 25, 2015

reflections on times of recovery

{I drew this while we were sick last week}

When Mr. Husband and I were ill last week,
I realized how quickly things change
and how in one fell swoop
we were sick and, by being sick,
incredibly weakened.
I had forgotten the immediacy of illness,
how it becomes the closest thing to you,
how, when really ill, you don't have strength to be 
what you thought you could be for others.
That Wednesday was going to be a busy day but good,
seeing my Ottawa priest in morning,
lunch with my godson and his family,
an afternoon appointment with my Ottawa naturopath 
about an allergic reaction I had been having
(it was the niacin supplement I was taking!)
and dinner with my godson's family.
We did see the naturopath,
where one of us was violently ill and I can't 
begin to tell you the kindness demonstrated in that office,
including letting us rest in an empty room as
we had not strength to drive...
and the kindness by many others...
My godson really wanted to see us; 
but we were so sick... he then wanted to 
skype with me 'right now'... his older brother
cried when he realized he was not going to see us,
the oldest was sad also...
But there was nothing I could do;
we were sick all day and all night... 
taking turns it seemed...
Between that and reading Joy's thoughtful posts
on rest/learning to not expect more than one can do/learning
to give time to oneself and one's family to recover
are making me slow down a bit,
be thankful, focus on loving, accepting
the need to do things even like
breaking the fast,
we had chicken soup and without that
 (and prayers of course of others)
we would not of made it home.
This is perhaps the hardest part of it all,
perhaps because I fear to be misunderstood...
but I can see that when one gets severely sick and
does not have much strength left
(when we were still in Montreal,
there were mornings that the only reason
I had strength to get out of bed at all
was by drinking Gatorade, which has a good dose of sugar)...
one's fast really becomes the illness...
I was thankful to read at my friend's house a bit of
St. Barsanuphius and John about this very fact,
of illness being the fast...
Sickness that makes one quickly lose 
nutrients, electrolytes and well, anything
one eats or drinks,
is something that takes time to recover from.
Realizing and accepting this,
it brings peace...
and the need for steadiness,
working towards patience... 


Paula said...

Colin and I had Norwalk the year Ella was born. Luckily she and Grandma were only sick one day. Colin ended up at the hospital twice for dehydration. They wanted to keep him overnight, but he was worried about how sick I was. It's so hard when both are sick. I'm glad you made it to part of your friend's wedding and that you were able to make it home again. Rest and get better.

elizabeth said...

Paula, it was really a blessing to be a the wedding! We are trying to rest and get better... I am spending a lot of the day reading.... what a trial for you and Colin and your family that year! Lord have Mercy!

Rosemary said...

In a way, one can look at it as God choosing your fast for you!

I am glad you got your allergic reaction figured out, even though you were so ill during your trip!

Martha said...

You both were sick while visiting in Canada? How miserable. I'm glad it sounds like you're getting better. Nice sketch!

Peacocks and Sunflowers said...

Oh, how rotten for you both! So nasty to be ill away from home especially. I do like your sketch though ;) Fr S once helpfully explained illness-as-fast as submitting to the discipline of taking medicine, resting well, eating sustaining food, etc to take care of the body's weakness - when the interruption in usual routines and responsibilities can feel so much like indiscipline. Perastika, and veel beterskap!

Joy said...

I've been praying for you all. That is such a stinky way to end a vacation! I am very thankful you were able to get the allergic reaction figured out. I've been concerned ever since you posted about it that one day. And how typical that it would be a medicine! Bleh. Rest well my friend.

Katrina said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry that you both were so sick! I'm glad you are both home and feeling better!!!