Tuesday: NYC, +Patrick's 1 year anniversary, Wednesday:Valentines Day, A blessed Day

Yogurt with dried cherries, dried cranberries, pistachios, roasted shaved coconut, cinnamon and honey.

It was so incredibly good. With side of scrambled eggs and half of a cinnamon raisin bagel with PB.

Yesterday I had a breakfast date with Mr Husband! 

After going to Trader Joes I got a scoop of ice cream and tea... 

butterweek after all! 

Then, back home for lunch, I nearly had margarine instead of BUTTER on my 

English Muffin during Butter Week.

My Ortho-friends agreed that this would of been tragic... LOL... 

***

A year ago our dear warden +Patrick died.

I had forgotten so many details of this time and it was good 

to read of them again today.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of +Patrick... we see things from 

his home everywhere in our home, esp. in the kitchen-living room- dining room areas. 

Though really in every room of our home and the hallway going up to our home.

It is such a blessing.

I made a new sour cream cranberry and orange cake.

Orange extract in the batter... cranberries, vanilla sugar, raw sugar and brown sugar 

with cranberries for filling. 

I am probably going to play around with this recipe again after Lent...

I liked it but it needs

1. more cranberries throughout the cake (perhaps still first mixed with the sugars)

2. I think more orange extract

3. shortening instead of sour cream

maybe lemon juice or OJ like the other cranberry cake I have made... 

It was fun to make, regardless! 

Today was a really full and good day for me.

I had decided that I could not go to sewing group;

I also decided that I was not going to take the tree down until the Feast tomorrow.

So I ended up taking some time in the later morning to write the first

essay I have written in a while!

I have a working first draft now and am really happy about it.

Then I worked on bookstore orders and was inspired, after that, to look

again, for the book that I had not been able to find for months....

I wrote about this search earlier today:

So, because of my bedrest this summer due to the fractured fibula bone, and that I ordered a bunch of books to read while on said bedrest, my previous book piles got moved around and books stuck in various places. (We were all just trying to survive, proper book placement was not on our list of worries!)... in the process I could not find for MONTHS (I was walking by September and now it's February) a book of letters by Elder Sophrony published recently by the Essex Monastery. This book, to me, is pure GOLD. Today I decided to take the later afternoon to look again for this book (I had looked and looked and LOOKED). Then, as I was moving books onto the bed from the bookshelves in the bedroom (because of course we have them there too), I grabbed a book and suddenly looked down and saw that it was THE BOOK I had been looking for for MONTHS, the reason I decided to move 8 shelves of books (basically switching 4 shelves in bedroom for 4 shelves in library/chapel/guestroom). I was so excited, I must admit I did a little bit of a 'snoopy happy dance'! Elder Sophrony's letters are really great as his books are very deep and the letters help make a lot of his thought clearer + really encouraging reading + learning so much. Well, I guess you know what book I hope to be relishing this Lent!!! Thanks be to God that I found this book again, at last! (ps: I do have the dust jacket also, I read them without them unless I have covered them with mylar protective covering, which I think is the next thing I will do for this book, God willing!)

***

Needless to say, I was so very grateful and I can't tell you

how glad I was to find this book... I had been waiting, in a lot of ways, 

to find this book so I could start working on essays again, as this book

was one I was working through in order to write...

I feel that part of what I am doing in my essays is sharing what I am reading

and perhaps expanding on it, or pairing it with other authors to discuss a 

certain topic or idea.... 

***

I felt that this past year was a continual stripping of my life and what I was doing.

I had to stop writing, the summer I was not walking, the fall I had to 

let go of my Sunday School class (thank God it is still going on with great 

teachers as I can't do it at present), sewing for months ceased, my reading 

and studies for writing ceased....

Really all of last year was my Husband and I going 

through various trials and trying to survive.

Much of this I can't write of here and some of it is still unbloggable.

A year ago we were still so weak from the flu that we took a cab

to +Patrick's funeral both ways...

***

That I have found the Sophrony book of letters, that I have written a new

first draft, that I had the strength to move 8 shelves of books 

(plus carry over 60lbs of candles up Monday), that we don't 

need to depend on a dear friend for a ride to church, 

that we hope to go to church for the Feast day,

that I am finishing up 2 orders for the bookstore, 

and hoping to do a book sale...

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to just

do things that are/were my normal NJ life here with 

my Husband... I am really hoping that this year

will be a period of creativity for me and that I can get 

more writing done that will, I hope, be honouring to God and

encouraging to others. 

***

I had a lot of support through my blog and other forms of

online communication and I can't tell you how much

this has meant to me and what blessings I had

during the many difficult months of 2017...

***

I am really praying that this year can be a year that is more

peaceful and restorative...

***

A friend posted this on social media the other day...

It seems to be a painting and I find it very beautiful.

I hope that it comforts you as it has me! 

By the prayers of the Mother of God!

***

God bless and keep you all.

So many are going through really difficult times

and we must keep in prayer for all.

***

Lord have mercy!

The Weekend of St. Mary of Egypt and St. Mary, the Mother of God

I am back from my overnight pilgrimage

with two friend who are biological sisters and are Serbian.

It was a really special and life-giving time.

I was given conversations and experiences that 

were all at once freeing, reassuring, instructive and refreshing,

as if I was literally drenched with God's mercy.

As if I had been in a desert and was suddenly 

in an unforeseen oasis full of light, water and all mercies.

*

I know enough, have been at monasteries enough, to know

that one cannot expect but only receive.

Just like a special experience is experienced by everyone

differently, so each time at a monastery is different.

*

I do not expect every time to be like the one I just had,

a time out of time that was like a tangible embrace of God's loving mercy.

*

This weekend was also the Sunday of St. Mary of Egypt;

lesson I made for my Sunday School kids that

others taught in my absence is here.

St. Mary of Egypt when she met the priest, St. Zossima,

they both fell to their feet asking the other's blessing,

and that image was with me this weekend...

'bless me' 'bless me'...

*

It's been a really different Lent for me this year

and I've been at times a little nervous about it - 

ironically because this Lent has not been full of either

sickness or continual stress; not that it's always been easy,

not at all.  But two Lents ago I had mono,

last Lent we were trying to buy a house with time running out on

where we were living.

This year it's been more peaceful and steady.

*

But I feel I've even been given a reason for that.

God's timing.

I just started re-reading the book on the Jesus Prayer

and it is so loving, I forgot how gentle, quiet and beautiful 

Fredrica-Matthewes book on prayer is.

*

Here's what I read this morning, back at home:

"The process of healing takes a long time.  Even as we see 

reasons for hope, we simultaneously gain better understanding

of how far down the roots of sin can go.  It would be devastating to see the 

whole truth about ourselves all at once.  

Our compassionate Lord brings us along gently, allowing

some blissful ignorance.  Each layer of the onion is shed at the right time;

we encounter the next truth about ourselves when and how we 

can bear it, as our loving Lord knows best.  "I have many 

things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." (Jn. 16:12)."   

(bold emphasis mine).

*

I had read on the monastery website that

I must ask the blessing to take pictures; so I did and

in the end was given the blessing to take as many pictures as I 

wished but not to publish them here.

Fair enough.  Sorry I cannot show you of course, but

I trust the blessing and instruction I was given.

*

So here's some pictures of how I am working

on transforming our home for the coming of

Holy Week and Pascha as well as

some special icons I got while 

I was on my two-day pilgrimage.

Lenten icons lit for one more week of Great Lent...

New monastery candles in my candle holder...

I talked to the two biological sisters about

how to have a Slava, the feast day of one's family's patron Saint.

Our patron is St. Phanourios, we were married on his day

three years ago this coming September. 

I had thought of having this from time to time and

found out that my beloved Mr. Husband was too,

as he asked me to pick their brains about how to have one.

I've also found some links since being back home, 

here and here.

One of the wonderful thing about being Orthodox

and an Orthodox convert like Mr. Husband and I are,

is that we can incorporate various Orthodox traditions 

into our personal practice at home.

This is a beautiful icon of the Mother of God

that I was able to get yesterday.

Once it is up and blessed, I will try to show it to you

again, as it is very beautiful but hard to photograph

when it is not hung properly and with a lampada.

I had been reading one of my Orthodox cookbooks on Pascha

and it said that a traditional Pascha basket has an icon of the Resurrection

and the only small one I had was too fragile (and personally irreplaceable)

to be used so I got this lovely one at the monastery.

*

 Once Holy Week starts this coming Sunday night

(we are one week behind the Western Church), I will not have time

to assemble everything for Pascha so I am trying to do this today if possible.

*

I am reminded of a lesson I was learning and continually being 

told in Ottawa a few years ago - 

be with God today.

*

I have a ton of things to do this week and that is what I am going to try to 

remember, just be with God today.

Monday - sunshine, laughter, sadness, prayers and the Saints

Mr. Husband made
the liver and onions last night.
I helped at the last minute
but he did all the work.
*
It was sweeter than I thought it would be.
I am having a second helping today
for lunch and find them
even better the next day.

Mr. Husband esp. loves the burnt parts...
:)

I love how Mr. Husband and I
can joke around.
He's doing a lot of the work
right now since I am still unwell...
*
Mrs. Wife: are you going to have dessert?
Mr. Husband: No. Were you?
Mrs. Wife: I was thinking of having some ice cream.
Mr. Husband: well, why don't you eat some ice cream
and talk to me while I do dishes?
Mrs. Wife: well, I am supposed to obey my husband so 
I guess I will eat some ice cream! 
Mr. Husband: There's a first time for everything. 
:)

When Mr. Husband first
visited me in Ottawa
1.5 years ago or so now
he bought me groceries.
Specifically he bought me a
Liter of Olive Oil
which he carried many blocks home for me.

One thing I try to do every morning
is light our lampadas,
putting in fresh oil,
tending the wicks,
cleaning them a little
and lighting them... 

Mr. Husband,
back when he was not yet Mr. Husband
but was my Orthoman
 buying me that
olive oil
was a deeply meaningful gift for me
as I strive to always have my
main hanging lampada to St. George
lit at all times. 

 

I have loved St. John of Shanghai and Sans Francisco
for years now;
I have linked to talks about him in the past.
I've read this book on his life 
a few summers ago
and was at the Greek monastery
a few year ago I was there
on his day.
*
A few days before a local Ottawa clergyman
from another church
and I met unexpectedly on the street near where
I live.
I mentioned the job loss that I was facing at the time
and he said to ask Vladkya John for his help.
I did not realize then that it was just a few days
before Saint John's Day
and that I would be at the Greek monastery on his day.
*
I went into the chapel at the monastery
and there was a small icon of him
in the front on the iconostasis;
I was alone and able to pray for his help.
*
Meanwhile Mr. Husband loves St. John Maximovitch as well
and the icon you see in the picture above
is one he was given some years back.
*
We still look for his help.
*
This morning I learned that
one of the parishioners at my
Ottawa parish is continuing to be quite ill.
He is one of the oldest parish members,
worked in the church and church cemetery for years
and he and his wife both made it
to the liturgy, my wedding and the reception
even though they were ill.
The cloth that was used for the table
for the Dance of Isaiah
at the wedding was borrowed from them,
their only child had been swaddled in it
just after he had been baptized.
*
They taught me the love of the prayers for
the departed and of caring for the church in
practical daily ways.
She taught me how to fold alter clothes that
we used there.
I told her once that when I grow up
I want to be just like her.
He is ill,
more ill everyday.
It is a great suffering.
*
I am so happy to be married to Mr. Husband.
I would not change my life one bit.
But how I miss those I love in Ottawa
and feel my prayers
so small compared to what I wish I could
pray for them.
*
They are like the Grandparents of the parish
and we all pray with and for them
where ever we may be.
*
I am glad I can bring needs like this to our
very loving and tender Mother of God,
the Most Holy Theotokos.
To St. Nectarios and to St. John Maximovitch.
*
Sometimes we pray only with tears,
sometimes with Akathists
and sometimes with simple words.
*
God promises his mercy and to hear.
*
Akathists that may be of use for such sorrows
that I have found are
Akathist to the Mother of God Joy of those who Sorrow
Akathist to of Shanghai and Sans Francisco 
Akathist to St. Nectarios.

Feast Day - Sunshine - Icon of the Virgin of Tenderness

I mentioned earlier that I am re-reading a book

on St. Seraphim of Sarov;

I read this footnote about the icon of the Mother of God

that St. Seraphim loved

and it made me wonder:

"The Virgin Mary is represented at the moment of

uttering her Fiat; with lowered eyes she is

very humbly listening to the archangel's words.

We know that Father Seraphim was never

separated from this icon and that he died

kneeling in prayer before it*."

*

We had liturgy today for

the Entrance of the Lord into the Temple

and afterwards I asked my spiritual father

about this icon

(I had just made and framed another one)

and he said that this icon is either

the exact one that St. Seraphim had or

"a close cousin."

*

I was overjoyed to hear this!

How special**!

I have a copy that I can see from where I am typing this,

such a gift!

*

Here's another quote from the book:

"...the icon of the Virgin of Tenderness...the Staretz named

this icon 'Joy of all joys' and he loved to call himself

her 'servant'.

He used to sing the Easter hymns before her:

'Rise, shine, O new Jerusalem,

for the glory of the Lord has risen upon you...' ***

*

This week,

being

Eat Anything Week

is a really special week.

I know at one monastery the nuns,

this week,

get to rest in their rooms and be quiet;

a refreshment before the start of Lent.

*

I am seeking to keep this in mind

as I go through this week;

I find reading again of the life of St. Seraphim

to be really refreshing.

*

And I am letting myself have a few

chocolate chip cookies

(homemade with butter)

and am soon to prepare a beef roast for the slow cooker.

*

May St. Seraphim and the Mother of God's prayers

protect us as we go towards another

Lenten Journey...

*

*page 24 footnote 1

**Thanks again to Jodie Anna who has this icon on her blog

and is where I first saw it

***page 49, in the paragraph under the heading

"The Dower of the Queen of Heaven"