Thankful

I am still home in Michigan.

The insomnia has continued to the point that

this morning

I made breakfast and then went back to bed.

Got up again later, ate and soon went back to bed.

What I did not remember is that when I got up in the morning

I had put the kettle on for tea.

A kettle I have never gotten used to,

that would not snap shut like mine

and today I made a significant mistake.

I forgot I put it on all together.

The part that closes over the spout must not of closed properly

and I never heard it boil; my sister and brother-in-law

never heard it either.

*

My Dad found it -

thank God for His protection -

the was burner still on (!)

the water (it had been a full kettle)

boiled out,

the porcelain on the kettle actually burnt on

to the oven burner.

This is a mistake I never wanted to make;

not only was it a fire hazard...

*

Not my most shining moment.

So why tell you about it?

*

Because it impressed me again in what I have seen

in my Father.

*

I went to make lunch, thought tea would be nice

and instantly remembered that I was making tea

at 8 this morning

looked over, and there was no kettle, just the burner ring

and crumb tray.

*

I immediately put on my jacket, scarf, shoes

and went to my Dad's shop.

(My Dad is a professional painter of houses and

paints the doors, cupboards, and such things

in his shop which is near by to the house.)

*

I told him I realized what happened and asked about it.

Not a hint of reproach.

No condemnation.

Yes, the kettle is now in the trash.

The burner has porcelain seared on to it that my Dad

has tried to remove.

I of course confessed to the deed and I am sure

he knew I did it anyway.

When I said I could buy a new one,

he said

"Just worry about getting a job."

*

Whenever I have read about St. Silouan's father

and how gentle he was

how slow to reproach

and how quiet in it all,

It has always made me think of my Dad.

*

When I see this in my Dad once again

I am so thankful.

I did nothing to deserve such kindness.

(The jeweled Christmas tree was

my Great-Grandma's.)

We have had our extended family Christmas time;

My immediate family are not exchanging gifts

until my birthday,

this Wednesday.

We will celebrate my sister Rebecca's birthday as well,

especially as it was a significant birthday for her

she is now 30.

I am thankful to be able to be home.

The insomnia should subside by the end of the week,

as I am almost done taking the medicine

that is causing it.

*

I am hoping that I can regain strength

and courage

that I will need for returning to Ottawa and job searching.

*

Meanwhile, I need to live in the present and rest.

Enjoy seeing my family.

Eating my Mother's food;

and taking time to rest from all that has gone before.

Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

(My parent's Nativity Set)

*

Christ is born! Glorify Him!

*

My church here had Christmas Liturgy tonight

after Matins.

So beautiful.

The hymns of Christmas...

*

I got to see my Godmother

and many familiar faces;

they are good to me here,

even though it has been 6 years since I lived here

and was chrismated...

Tomorrow will be my extended family

Christmas day.

Praying very much for

Kh. Ramia and Fr. Anthony

and all those who are in loss this Christmas;

May Christ and His Virgin Mother the Theotokos

bring comfort through their intercessions.

Home with my parents and the Christmas tree!

One of our Canadian relatives gave this to us

some time back.

*

Too funny and cute, hey?

*
Well,

as you may have guessed:

I'm home!

Flights were fine, only half hour delay.

*

So good to be at home,

with my parents,

wearing new slippers from my Oma...

...one of the last new pairs I will ever have,

hard to believe this but she will be

102 years old

this Friday

(new calendar)

Christmas Eve.

*

Tomorrow I get to rest.

Wow.

Okay, I am also going to do

at least a little job searching

but will rest too!!

This is one of our Christmas tree's

older ornaments,

always liked it...

A little blurry but Cleo would love

this mouse...

my Aunt made them out of felt

when I was still a kid.

*

I am going to savour every minute of being home.

My Dad is already teasing me...

(only one hug a day Elizabeth,

like vitamins)

It is still hard to believe I made it;

Thank God for His mercy.

One of the best parts of being home

My Mother's cooking.

Homemade apple sauce.

From the garden green beans.

This afternoon I found a book I thought was lost for good -

Walking on Water: reflections on Faith and Writing

by Madeleine L' Engle.

This was a very special book for me years ago,

in 1996,

less than a year after I heard her speak in person.

Every year now coming home is a multi-faceted event.

It is not easy to be a convert to Orthodoxy,

as many know;

so many layers of memories at one's place of upbringing

that are now different than the reality

one lives in now.

Of course I have many layers of memories

of all different places,

as I have moved around a lot.

The world does not stay the familiar place that we once knew;

nothing stays the same

but we must cling to God who remains steadfast

throughout all the ages.

And I must enjoy my time here

as I only get Christmas 2009 once.

God is merciful and gracious

ever abounding in loving kindness...