I am still home in Michigan.
The insomnia has continued to the point that
this morning
I made breakfast and then went back to bed.
Got up again later, ate and soon went back to bed.
What I did not remember is that when I got up in the morning
I had put the kettle on for tea.
A kettle I have never gotten used to,
that would not snap shut like mine
and today I made a significant mistake.
I forgot I put it on all together.
The part that closes over the spout must not of closed properly
and I never heard it boil; my sister and brother-in-law
never heard it either.
*
My Dad found it -
thank God for His protection -
the was burner still on (!)
the water (it had been a full kettle)
boiled out,
the porcelain on the kettle actually burnt on
to the oven burner.
This is a mistake I never wanted to make;
not only was it a fire hazard...
*
Not my most shining moment.
So why tell you about it?
*
Because it impressed me again in what I have seen
in my Father.
*
I went to make lunch, thought tea would be nice
and instantly remembered that I was making tea
at 8 this morning
looked over, and there was no kettle, just the burner ring
and crumb tray.
*
I immediately put on my jacket, scarf, shoes
and went to my Dad's shop.
(My Dad is a professional painter of houses and
paints the doors, cupboards, and such things
in his shop which is near by to the house.)
*
I told him I realized what happened and asked about it.
Not a hint of reproach.
No condemnation.
Yes, the kettle is now in the trash.
The burner has porcelain seared on to it that my Dad
has tried to remove.
I of course confessed to the deed and I am sure
he knew I did it anyway.
When I said I could buy a new one,
he said
"Just worry about getting a job."
*
Whenever I have read about St. Silouan's father
and how gentle he was
how slow to reproach
and how quiet in it all,
It has always made me think of my Dad.
*
When I see this in my Dad once again
I am so thankful.
I did nothing to deserve such kindness.
(The jeweled Christmas tree was
my Great-Grandma's.)
We have had our extended family Christmas time;
My immediate family are not exchanging gifts
until my birthday,
this Wednesday.
We will celebrate my sister Rebecca's birthday as well,
especially as it was a significant birthday for her
she is now 30.
I am thankful to be able to be home.
The insomnia should subside by the end of the week,
as I am almost done taking the medicine
that is causing it.
*
I am hoping that I can regain strength
and courage
that I will need for returning to Ottawa and job searching.
*
Meanwhile, I need to live in the present and rest.
Enjoy seeing my family.
Eating my Mother's food;
and taking time to rest from all that has gone before.
