The Light Keeper captures the mystery, beauty and power of the oceans, seas and vast lakes. It contains lighthouses that guide and guard the ships and sailors. This is a novel that glories in books written centuries ago to our present, from Tagore to the poems of Mary Oliver. It is a story of friendship, of love, of deep aching questions. It has one of the most mathematically brillant plots I have ever experienced. It is a book that is difficult to put its worth into words. I have read it twice and can't wait to read it again. It is a most beautifully written offering and, if I could, I would send a copy to everyone reading this praise of The Light Keeper by Sherry Shenoda.
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I posted this review on my public IG page.
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I am working on my writing project again. I like the process of it. I hope to type in a lot of edits tomorrow.
1. On Tuesday, my friend Peter's 40th day since his passing, which is a special day that one prays for the newly departed, I met a monk from Romania outside of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He is now praying for Peter. I can’t tell you how deeply encouraging this was and is.
2. Last vespers with choir director of my local church who I have known over 10 years.
3. Saw my special tea-loving friend at church. She is moving to Florida and I am going to miss her so much.
4. Saw Waltons with my beloved Husband. It felt like old times.
5. I am slowly returning to myself... I have had my memory since the second week of March but the emotional shock and physical depletion + a second rash (all gone!) + Peter's death (and the shock of it) really impacted me.
6. We are getting more estimates for our roof as it needs fixing. That is taking a while.
7. I have a schedule for my writing project that I am trying out this week for times that I work only on that project.
8. I have been walking about 5k steps a day. I am very thankful.
9. New local priest comes this week and first liturgy is this coming Sunday: Pentecost.
I went to the dentist in NYC today. I walked 7500 steps....almost 3 miles.... I was hoping to go to the MET Museum too. However I was really tired and it felt like too much.
My Husband understood and encouraged me by saying that I am still recovering and working up stamina.
When I looked at my Google Fit app on my phone I realized that he is right. I have not been walking as much as I am now since last August.
I am trying so hard to rebuild my life. I am grateful for my Husband's kindness.
I walked this morning! About 2 miles in 40 minutes best I have done in many months.
I have a new friend an immigrant who needs reading and conversation help as she is learning English. We spent time together this morning. It is not easy for her family and I am concerned about their difficulties.
This afternoon and early evening I worked on writing project. Just chipping away slowly.
It was a rare day where my goals for the day actually happen.
I managed longer walk again yesterday. I've been struggling a lot with exhaustion lately.
I am thinking about the art of acceptance that comes in the process of grief and loss; the art of acceptance in the process of getting past trauma. Plus the acceptance of the brokenness of us all as human beings living in a confused world. Forgiveness comes with acceptance...
This video was really striking to me about how to live and move on from things:
Also these quotes I found worth pondering. The first one is Madeleine writing about some people who maligned and attacked her writing.
"Can one be a Christian with a heart full of hate? I know that when hate flickers in my heart Christ cannot come in. So, as I pray for compassion and understanding for myself, I pray for compassion and understanding for these poor women. If they deny themselves the richness of love, they are indeed poor!" -- Madeleine L'Engle from Penguins and Golden Calves
from Fr Stephen Freeman:
"Subjectivity itself, the world as we experience it inside our heads, is notoriously changeable and fails every test of reliability. It is the chimera of our existence, and can never be its foundation.
Years ago, when I was in college, I suffered a severe bout of depression. I was hospitalized for a week. After the hospital, I “white-knuckled” my way through the world and found a path back to sanity. One of those paths was to distrust my subjective experience. Nothing “sounded like fun” (that’s the nature of depression). But I reasoned that I needed to have fun and decided to treat fun as an objective activity. My now-wife and I began doing things that were the “kind of things people do for fun,” in an effort to teach my brain and body how to do something they had lost. It was very therapeutic."
I am slowly coming to terms with various things I have suffered in the last year and a half. The losses. The months of illness. My father-confessor's retirement and leaving when I was still in and out of memory loss.
Today we are remembering a Monk from Optina who became a Saint and this line from the online telling of his life really struck me:
"While he managed to preserve a radiant peace during which many of his spiritual children visited him, his life was difficult and full of threats from the Soviet authorities including threats of deportation to Kamchatka." - Nectarius of Optina (emphasis mine)
Such a good reminder that with Christ is peace, even in the midst of great difficulties.
I am praying that I can grow in this. I think part of it for me really is the acceptance of difficulties, of one's losses, of differences in points of view.
This prayer I find helpful: "nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” from HERE.
Today was quite busy. Our pantry was emptied. We hired help. We have both AC and roof things to look into so we may not have that much use of our library/ chapel for a while.
Our local church gets a new priest and family soon.
