Between Fear and Excitment

I start my new job Tuesday.

I am walking.

I really want to move in 4 months (thus giving notice in 2 months).

I am both excited and scared about starting my new job. Currently I am feeling happy and hopeful.

Christ is in Our Midst - by Fr. John, a Monk

I could never say enough about this book. It was recommended to me last year by my spiritual father.

Fr. John is a monk who lived in the Valamo monastery and then New Valamo in Finland; he died in 1958. This book is a compilation of letters he wrote to his spiritual children. It is very accessible and has deep wisdom. In many ways, this book has and still is showing me what it means to be a Christian, specifically as an Orthodox Christian.

I wish I could explain what this book has meant to me, but I find words rather absent. Suffice to say that this book opened itself to me, but that will take the rest of my life to go towards what it teaches.

Here is one quotation:

No, we must not trust ourselves before we are lying in our graves, and whether we persevere in virtue depends not on us, but on the grace of God. The Lord preserves the humble; in so far as a man humbles himself, he flourishes in the spiritual life....
-from letter 79

It is published by Saint Vladimir's Seminary Press and is still in print, with a slightly changed cover.

how to say anything at all...

when not much has changed...

I am still waiting to go back to work. I am doing the pre-work things - hair cut, clothes, waiting to get my black shoes. I am slowly reorienting myself back into my profession. I am walking every day...

I pray that I will never forget how it felt to be injured and that I will be able to understand other's pain more.

It could be that my dream of moving apartments will not happen until the Spring; if work is super overwhelming I will not want to add to this stress.

May the Lord continue to have mercy on me as I am in transition.

Tea and Strawberries

Today I had tea with a friend! Twinnings Earl Grey, with a bowl of French Vanilla ice cream and delicous fresh strawberries.

I used my best tea pot (from Bavaria) and sugar and creamer; these, with the silver mirrored tray, were found when I was home for Christmas. My Grandmother and I went antique mall shopping over the holidays.

Speaking of my Grandmother, she is going to have some tests done for her health. I hope and pray that all will be okay. She is a very important part of my family!

Good news, other than the delightful tea, is that the doctor said I can start walking on my broken foot! It is SO WONDERFUL to walk after being on crutches and bed rest for 5 weeks.

My foot still has to be elevated and for now I am still off work. But I am slowly getting better, for which all thanks and praise goes to God.

I hope to have enough time to recover well before beginning my new job.

here again

Summary:

about the foot:

1. foot still broken
2. wound not infected - got better
3. appointment with specialist for foot exam this Wednesday

about my new job:

1. work did not realize how injured I was and sent me home early from training
2. they say I am to be on the payroll and that I cannot work until I am better
3. doing paper work tomorrow...

about daily life:

1. crutches - I am walking better on them
2. lots of $ spent on taxi rides
3. it is hard to make food to eat when I have one hand free (other one holding on to something so I do not fall as I am on one foot).

conclusion:

1. need God's mercy
2. need prayer
3. need food. (friend is making me food tomorrow)

on other notes...

1. liturgy tomorrow! St. John the Baptist (And His Mom, St. Elizabeth!) (old calendar)
2. Cleo the Cat really misses the normal routine and having me walk around... I can't do as much for her or play with her. a SERIOUS problem in her view.
3. I heard Fr. Thomas Hopko and Frederica M-G speak this past week. This was great.