general happiness

general happiness i find to be almost wearying because when i am conscious of it, i almost want to hold it up more; like somehow dwell in the sunny happiness instead of letting it pass into a more peaceful relaxed state. given that i get excited about small-ish things, i have a lot to learn about this.

the happy things of the day:

1. my IKEA shelves came. one is finished. the tall 7 foot one, the very top shelf was about 2 inches too short. so they have to come back once the right shelf is shipped out. so this may get done by Mid-August if i am lucky.

but STILL. i have my shelves. my kitchen shelf is all full (which is why i bought it, so my crockpots, juice jars, cookbooks, tea plates and cups had a more proper home).

2. i bought 12 books for 11.00 at the used bookstore in the library downtown. including two by Louise Erdrich and various mysteries; and the biography of V Woolf by Quinten Bell.

3. i got both pairs (black clogs and dark brown shoes) of my Birkenstocks fixed! my shoes i have had since 1994, so while they have lots of used-for-over-10-years wrinkles, they are still passable in my book.

4. i mailed my mom my copy of Harry Potter # 7

5. i had an ice cream cone.

6. i got an A Christie DVD from the library and cleaned more of my house

Clearly these are happiness things. notice i say happiness and not joy; they are quite different, as i think joy is deeper and often comes along side of or from, pain...

but it was nice to have a day off today and my cat is adjusting to new furniture in my house. that and she discovered my bag of mint (i cant remember what recipe i was going to make with it!) and half tore it to bits.

tomorrow: back to grey cubical land. but at least today i was able to be downtown and enjoy the day!

Apparently my internet is back

these last two weeks have felt so busy, it is a bit overwheming.

my IKEA shelves are currently sitting in 2 long boxes in my kicthen, to be installed on Monday. which means i have today and Monday off.

i am reading the last Harry Potter book.

i saw a friend and her child yesterday for the first time in nearly 4 years.

another friend is coming up to see me next weekend, and i am really looking forward to this.

i have been exhausted and am glad for the time to rest.

well. as i am in recovery-from-exhaustion mode, i really can't think of much else to say.

other than that i still believe that weakness can be humans' (only) glory - as humility (which is my goal to have someday) is the crowning glory and shows why the Cross is power to those who are being saved; why the meek will inherit the earth... the voices still crying out, Glory to You, O God!

little details of life

NOTE: i cannot tell if this posted. my blog on my computer does not show it, but it came up in my bloglines list. so i am re-posting something that may be on my blog, but i cannot see.

i really think my internet is doing poorly; everything is really slow right now. anyway here is what i tried to post i think on friday:


my internet is not doing too well, Ancient Faith Radio is merely flickering and my other websites are taking a long time to come up.

why is it that my blog shows one comment when there is two but if i check it at work, i see two?well. IKEA called again.

my shelves will be delivered a week late. so much for my friend who is coming in two weeks seeing the shelves.but i am trying not to let small details frustrate me - what is the use.

besides i am to learn patience, and this is a practical way to do so - good since i have so much to learn.

hard though;


i heard a priest say this on Tuesday; i think i have read it before, but it really struck me:

everyone is fighting unseen battles, so we must be kind to everyone

little details of life

my internet is not doing too well, Ancient Faith Radio is merely flickering and my other websites are taking a long time to come up.

why is it that my blog shows one comment when there is two but if i check it at work, i see two?

well. IKEA called again. my shelves will be delivered a week late.

so much for my friend who is coming in two weeks seeing the shelves.

but i am trying not to let small details frustrate me - what is the use. besides i am to learn patience, and this is a practical way to do so - good since i have so much to learn.

hard though;

i heard a priest say this on Tuesday; i think i have read it before, but it really struck me:

everyone is fighting unseen battles, so we must be kind to everyone

questions

well... my IKEA order, of course, was not done right ...but at least they called me and now it is okay, i hope...

did i mention that i had dropped my cordless phone in my DISH WATER. yep. and i took it out right away, much to my friend's concern. what was i supposed to do though? let it stay in the water? i would of had to drain the water sometime. this does make me wonder though at what one needs to do if they drop something totally plugged in the water. hmmmm.

well i am okay and my phone recovered too!

i guess this is rather the quote trivial day to day things - well - in my life anyway. i am someone who is talented enough to fall of buses and find it funny. (though it was not fun at the time).

i actually like the blogs that deal with the normal things of day to day life, but i am wondering...

the Church teaches us to avoid idle talk. i am wondering what this means.

i love calling my Mom and saying hi - but we usually talk about our day - is this idle talk?

well. i have so much to learn.

i have other questions too - such as:

1. what should our relationship to things within this world be? i bought clothes at Smart Set this week on sale - 75% off i think - but i did not NEED them. how does one discern what is right in regards to buying things?

or

2. i love my apartment, esp. as i am getting more of it set up (or so i am hoping). how much love of things and of earthly place is okay?

when the world is not to be our home and we are to think of our death and of eternity daily, what is good to do?

i read gilead, as i mentioned in an earlier post. i liked the book very much - was well written. but it is leaving me an unsure taste in my mouth, as it were. the book talks so much about loving life here on earth, and all the beauty of it; all while the character is preparing to die. he regrets having to leave such a earth, where he finds things so startlingly beautiful.

CS Lewis in his book screwtape letters suggests to get Christians to fall, to have them love the ordinary world and the ordinary details, to distract them from our final destination and from being a slave to God instead of a slave to this world.

so what does this mean? are we to take joy in things? the book of Ecclesiastes suggests this; some Psalms and Proverbs do as well, from what i can see.

but Christ also said follow me and to forsake all else.

would love any thoughts about this - what does it mean to be North American, a female, in the luxury of middle class, with laptop, cell phone and my own apartment - and trying to seek the kingdom of God before my own kingdom.

what does this mean? how are we to live? i think i need to read St. John Chrysostom and some others about this....

look, a title!

okay. so i am not really sure how to title this. or even what to write. one of my good friends commented, laughing at me a little i think, that i am always in inward challenges. that is true i think.

wow, the battles we need to wage within ourselves! Lord have mercy!

well. my apartment is slowly being finished. i ordered two Antique stain bookshelves from IKEA; i have various things to be put up and installed. i have lived in my apartment 9 months now; it is time to finish my little nest - shelves, curtains, the last of the paper icons on my bedroom wall.

i think one of the hardest things of July is that so many of my friends are on vacation. i long to call them and, well they are in Europe, or like my sister, following waterfalls with her husband.

i have moved a lot in my life - in the last 4 years i have moved from BC to the States (home), to London Ontario and then to Ottawa, then back to London and then back again to here. it is a challenge to re-establish a life, a community; even just to re-establish a life within myself that is settled again, is a challenge.

i feel like i am just starting to seek rest and to feel more settled. once and a while i think of last summer, and how hard it was for me. thanks be to God that He gave me the last 2 jobs i have had (one i am in now) and that i was able to return, and seek to be rooted again.

Lord have mercy...

this post will not let me put a title in the title box. oh well.

i am reading a lot and learning a lot, but i am the type that needs a long time before i can post about it.

suffice to say that i feel challenged and loved at the same time.

the spiritual life is not for the faint hearted, yet i am this and God comes and does not snuff out the smoldering wick.

glory to Your longsuffering, O Lord!

I seek and wish to seek to prepare my heart even now for the Bridegroom and to say, I come Lord, I come.

Lord have mercy...