Part of growing up,
by which I mean,
becoming more whole
which must mean, as Anastasia
pointed out in my previous post,
is to become more like Christ.
I really appreciated all of the responses from this post,
from the understanding of those who are single
to those who are older than I...
I am gathering that one of the areas of
growing up
is to begin to see one's self more clearly.
Including those areas of one's life that
suddenly appear to be in great need of attention.
Areas that for whatever reason
it seems to be hard to become whole
to be obey Christ
to become like Christ.
For me,
with my cozy house of cat and books,
I am realizing that I am struggling against
anxiety on a fairly dramatic scale.
***
Those who know me in person
or who have read my blog for a while,
I don't think will be surprised by this.
***
Of course I am also in a situation
that is uncertain
taking French
using my savings
for an unknown future job
feels
a tad
precarious.
***
But nonetheless,
I am slowly
declaring war on the anxiety
that has been with me all too long.
***
So how to do this?
***
Going to church.
Participating in all the sacraments.
Praying.
Mediating on Scripture.
Reading Orthodox devotional material.
Repentance.
Talking to those I need to talk to about
rooting out anxiety,
reading up on the subject,
reading books by Christians on anxiety.
Re-evaluating my eating habits.
Drinking more water.
Failing and getting up again and again and again.
told my friend helps for anxiety
and whose prayers helped this friend.
When I can I hope to go to a monastery again,
where deep healing can be continued.
***
In this book Elizabeth Goudge shows how fear can be faced
and conquered;
her understanding of detachment
and other insights to me are deep hints of the
Orthodox understanding of
that Metropolitan Jonah's articles made well-known
in the online Orthodox circles.
***
God will bring me
in all my weakness and brokenness
to His safe harbour.
The inner storms that buffet cannot destroy
***
Be kind for everyone you know is fighting a great battle.
— Philo of Alexandria
***
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103 verses 8-14
