I'm Still Alive (in case anyone was wondering!)

I survived the Christmas party. The food was good. They had mashed potatoes. This made me happy.

The lighting was ambient and nice. For a while they played music much too loud. Everyone seemed happy, talking with one another. I left around eight-thirty.

I am tired. By the taxi ride home (buses are on strike right now, very UNCOOL, boo hiss; and it is cold out) my earrings felt heavy.

A nice woman who is quite new was my friend. I was quiet for a lot of it. The standing for an hour talking holding a glass (I had cranberry juice as I said I would) was long. I started to struggle but then I started praying and I knew that others were praying too. I felt at peace and happy to look at everyone and smile and pray as best I could.

I am really drained now and am glad to be home. I am glad also that I do not have to do that all the time. The dinner was fine though and I felt more relaxed. It was just the standing for that long at the beginning was hard.

I am glad it was a calm dinner party.

I was really happy to wear my new outfit and jewelry; I even did my hair, which is not saying much though. My hair curls naturally after being washed so I put hair stuff in and scrunched. That is all I am willing to do to it!!! But yes, it is FUN to be a girl and dress up....

Thank you everyone for your encouragement, advice and prayers.

tomorrow night

is the aforemetioned Christmas Party.

May God be glorified.

I admit to looking forward to wearing my new pretty outfit ... I am hopeful.

May God be with us all and help us in whatever is needed for us.

New things to learn and to own

Now that I work in Corporate Canada, running a small special library, I am involved also in Corporate Life.

I grew up in a small town, most of the people I knew were more blue collar Christians who faithfully lived and worked and sent their children to Christian schools. Very thoughtful, deliberate, God-loving people.

People that I hope Wendell Berry would like, especially the ones that had farms. These were not the doctors, lawyers, business or civil servants. And so, I did not experience five-course meals, table settings with more than one knife, fork and spoon, until I was in my early twenties. And in time, I became a librarian.

Libraries, even public libraries, can be a bit more business like. But not like where I am now. And so, I am going to my first Corporate Christmas Party. Cocktails and hors d'œuvre, with mingling and later a meal. Thankfully (I asked the right people) there has never been crazy alcohol induced things. I am not comfortable drinking socially myself, so I will get some nice red Cranberry juice or something.

And today I bought a pretty red sweater with a nice black/grey/silver strands suit jacket and pants. I also got some nice silver with crystal (or what looks like silver and crystal) flower necklace and earrings. I have been wearing the same silver earrings for 4 years strait and very very rarely buy jewelry at all as I always wear my silver Cross and silver earrings. I do not remember buying a dressy necklace since high school in the early 90's. Anyway. I feel a bit more prepared now and now have to continue to pray for wisdom, courage and Christ's love for the social mingling part.

I usually would rather quote Jane Kenyon's poem on staying home instead of going out than go to big events! (Unless they are with my church, this seems different, as it is family).

So the little country girl has to grow up to be a city girl with a professional career, Cute Cat and a nice one bedroom apartment.

Please pray for me - this is all new to me and I have felt nervous about it.

Also, if you have any suggestions for how to make small talk, please share with me! I had a really good conversation yesterday after church and was reminded of the introvert's golden key - ask the other person about themselves. Any other tips, I would love to hear.

For me, I really feel that this is part of my growing up and is linked to my inner healing (another story that this post is indirectly about). What are things that you see as things that helped you mature and grow?