Last night I had very little sleep.
But I figured out that I would walk more with
my walking boot than I thought.
This is huge.
Just to walk in my own apartment, even if I can't leave,
is a big improvement.
That said, I can tell that being housebound impacts my emotions without a question.
***
I discovered a new artist today,
I like this song for the sense of progression.
God gave me a lot of music when I got really sick.
First there was my memory loss,
but I was hurt badly the following fall.
I will not talk about it here but it was like
part of me was razed to the ground and
that is being rebuilt as well.
***
It's like I have had to grow up all over again.
It's really strange.
So many things I have had to learn again, in ways.
***
I found my notebook, a really thin big sketchbook,
where I map out plans for my writing project.
***
I have some new ideas to write down.
Some of them I will start now, some I hope in the early fall.
I really want to have my life back.
To go to NYC again.
To be my normal self.
***
I am getting there.
I ordered another book today LOL.
I am getting a variety of books to read in the next while,
because I need a lot of disparate things.
I need encouragement to be myself again,
to have courage again,
to know how to be with others again....
***
My Husband is being a real trooper, my hero in spite
of all our suffering...
He's going to, I hope, pick up my x-rays tomorrow.
***
I have a meeting with my newer second therapist tomorrow.
I hope to do some real focused internal work to get myself
back to where I want to be,
my normal, independant, cheerful self.
I am not there yet, but I am making strides towards it.
***
Well. So it all is.
May God have mercy...
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