busy days of August

Liturgy 3 days in a row. A real blessing.

Monday I stood a lot (Liturgy lunch grocery shopping a friend dropped by then vespers) and by that evening my ankle was hurting. So it goes with ankle sprain recovery. Overall I am making progress! 

I am doing some indepth research (reading things from years past to understand things from various points of view).  It's a lot of work but I pray it bears good fruit.

One of the things I am seeing in my life and research is, especially if one source / person in history quite biased against someone else, then you better research both sides.  It can seem obvious but it's not always so easy to put into practice. It's a lot of work. But for me it's really good work!

But boy can my brain feel full!  I take a lot of notes on my reading so it is easy to review and use later.

I have been enjoying some fast-free treats and food!

And it's fun to use pretty dishes again. That's another sign that I am slowly healing (from my traumatic illness) .... being able to enjoy things. 

It's a lot of trying to balance everything. Including times of rest.

May God have mercy on us and save us 🙏

my favourite

Vegan cranberry orange muffins. I love them so much. 

I am always impressed by stories of Saints who are both gentle and courageous in defense of truth.

PT for my sprained ankle. The hard thing is that I am not yet well enough to go to NYC. 

This means that I am home alone when Mr Husband is at work. It just is as it is.  Patience needed.

I researched an archives and emailed the archivist this week for my research. 

It's a lot of work but primary research is vital. (Primary as in actual sources from the time in history I am researching as opposed to writings about the event after the fact, a secondhand source).

I have been watching some Andy Griffith. Such a different time. 

May God have mercy on us. 

Here, Greatful

Feast of Transfiguration ☦️🍇🐟

Liturgy this morning ❤️

Reading 📚 On Prayer by St Sophrony

It's really fascinating ... history, autobiography, theology....

My ankle sprain I think is slowly healing.  Walking more than 2k steps still causes discomfort after a while. The ankle brace is good.

I am still working on inner healing for the trauma my 3 months of illness. I mainly see it in a struggle with despair and sadness. I hope I am turning a corner on it.  

Thank God for His mercy!  May we have God's mercy and saving help!

Saved from judgement by asking the Lord to save us by prayers of one we judged

If you have the sinful habit of judging your neighbor, then whenever you judge someone make three prostrations that day with this prayer: 'Save, O Lord, and have mercy on him (whom I have judged) and by his prayers, have mercy on me, a sinner.' Do this every time you judge someone. If you do this, God will see your sincerity and will deliver you from this sinful habit forever. And if you never judge anyone, then God will never judge you. In this way you will even receive salvation. 

- Priest-confessor Sergei Pravdolubov

From Catena app a few months back (June I think).

Really wise advice. 

Sunday in mid-August

Thank God I was able to go to church today. 

PT tomorrow God willing. 

Foot brace still much better. 

Some discomfort at times.

But there is so much worse.

May God help and comfort us.... save and protect! 🙏❤️

A simple saving prayer....

Got a much better foot brace. It is such an improvement. 

I read about St Peter and the walking on water Gospel passage. 

Here is part of it (emphasis mine):

"[Ch 14 verses] 31-33. And immediately Jesus stretched forth His hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, of what didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the boat, the wind ceased. Then they that were in the boat came and worshipped Him, saying, Of a truth Thou art the Son of God. 

Showing that the cause of his sinking was not the wind but faintheartedness, Christ does not rebuke the wind, but the fainthearted Peter. This is why He raised him up and set him on the water, but allowed the wind to blow. Peter did not doubt in everything, but in part. Inasmuch as he was afraid, he showed lack of faith; but by crying out, "Lord, save me," he was healed of his unbelief. This is why he hears the words "O thou of little faith" and not "O thou of no faith." Those in the boat were also delivered from fear, for "the wind ceased." And then, indeed, recognizing Jesus by these things, they confessed His divinity."

*****

I have been struggling with faintheartedness. 

I am so thankful that such a simple prayer [Lord, save me!] can restore one.

I hope that I can start functioning better. 

May God help us!

Encouragement in times of suffering

"And as when a nestling has come out of the nest before the time, and is on the point of falling, its mother bears it on her wings, and brings it back to the nest; even so did Christ."

A tender passage in St John Chrysostom homily on St Peter walking on water. 

Here is the longer passage in the homily about this Gospel of St Peter walking on water:

"Peter then having come down from the ship went unto Him, not rejoicing so much in walking on the water, as in coming unto Him. And when he had prevailed over the greater, he was on the point of suffering evil from the less, from the violence of the wind, I mean, not of the sea. For such a thing is human nature; not seldom effecting great things, it exposes itself in the less; as Elias felt toward Jezebel, as Moses toward the Egyptian, as David toward Bathsheba. Even so then this man also; while their fear was yet at the height, he took courage to walk upon the water, but against the assault of the wind he was no longer able to stand; and this, being near Christ. So absolutely nothing does it avail to be near Christ, not being near Him by faith.

And this also showed the difference between the Master and the disciple, and allayed the feelings of the others. For if in the case of the two brethren they had indignation, much more here; for they had not yet the Spirit vouchsafed unto them.

But afterwards they were not like this. On every occasion, for example, they give up the first honors to Peter, and put him forward in their addresses to the people, although of a rougher vein than any of them.

And wherefore did He not command the winds to cease, but Himself stretched forth His hand and took hold of him? Because in him faith was required. For when our part is wanting, then God's part also is at a stand.

Signifying therefore that not the assault of the wind, but his want of faith had wrought his overthrow, He says, Wherefore did you doubt, O thou of little faith? So that if his faith had not been weak, he would have stood easily against the wind also. And for this reason, you see, even when He had caught hold of Him, He suffers the wind to blow, showing that no hurt comes thereby, when faith is steadfast.

And as when a nestling has come out of the nest before the time, and is on the point of falling, its mother bears it on her wings, and brings it back to the nest; even so did Christ.

And when they had come into the ship, then the wind ceased. Matthew 14:32

Whereas before this they had said, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him! Matthew 8:27 now it is not so. For they that were in the ship, it is said, came and worshipped Him, saying, Of a truth You are Son of God. Matthew 14:33 Do you see, how by degrees he was leading them all higher and higher? For both by His walking on the sea, and by His commanding another to do so, and preserving him in jeopardy; their faith was henceforth great. For then indeed He rebuked the sea, but now He rebukes it not, in another way signifying His power more abundantly. Wherefore also they said, Of a truth You are Son of God."

****

Earlier in homily it talks about God adding weight to our struggles *right* before He takes them from us.

A hard truth but St John explains that the Lord is teaching us endurance.  You can read the whole thing HERE.

Romans 5:3-5

English Standard Version

3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Back Once Again

We are back from visiting family. 

Unfortunately, a week ago Tuesday I fell while on a walk (turned wrong was all). Sprained my ankle. 

I was doing better but over did it today and have to rest more now. 

I was so hoping to resume going to NYC but again am having to rest and stay home. 

May God have mercy on us 🙏