Ok. I finished the book.
I looked at her substack too.
She's all about being who she is, that's great.
But she does it by grouping herself with others who are like her.
Guess what? That group automatically exludes me.
Why? Well, I am not even going into that here.
So I liked a lot of it but some of it fell short and I don't know that
she could ever hear me at all.
***
IRONIC since her book is about the validity of ALL cultures being heard.
***
However here's what I really liked:
1. Her actual stories of herself, her family, culture and places. I loved that so much.
2. Most of her thoughts about how the Bible relates to her story; sometimes, in the first half,
I could not engage it was just outside of my scope.
3. The ending with the story she wrote was excellent.
4. I learned a lot about her Mother's home country and how a lot of people expereince
living in the States and feeling excluded.
***
I felt I could relate to her VERY much because I have often had that experience,
both of being the one singled out to be teased a child (I was too different than others)
and of just the loneliness that is inherent in human experience as a whole.
***
One VERY strange to me thing:
she talks about a friend she knew when she was a child;
she calls Bethany who was Eastern Orthodox and then says that in this church,
the priest gave Communion in two parts, Chalice and Bread seperate.
I have NEVER EVER EVER heard of that being an Orthdoox practice!!!
The Bread is in the wine which is in the Chalice which is given to us on a Spoon.
And you have to kiss 'the hairy hand of the preist' RIGHT BEFORE Communion?
OK WHAT church did she go to and is her memory of her childhood expereince accurate?
***
To be clear:
1. We do kiss a lot of things in the Orthodox church, including icons and the preist or Bishop's hand.
I KNOW. Some would find that fact ALONE quite startling LOL.
But I doubled checked with my Husband and what she is describing NEVER happens in the
Orhtodox church (she specifically said Eastern Orthodox) so check your facts please!
Like I know we are a strange bunch but there's a lot of stuff online and tons of churches in
North America so next time, maybe check your memory before publishing it with a
Protestant Press who also does not know about this (or strangely did not tell
the author)...
***
Now, to address the more inherent criticism that she clearly had against us:
We, just like the Roman Catholics, do not practice open Communion for those who are not
baptised / chrismated Orthodox Christians.
Some people have a hard time with this, they feel excluded.
However I don't see how it could be any other way.
This is WHY:
1. The Orthodox Church is being responsible for both their people and those who are not,
by reception of baptism or chrismation, their people. WHY is this responsible?
2. The Orthodox Church believes and has always believed the following:
Holy Commuion IS the Body and Blood of Christ.
Holy Communion is often, in our prayers, called FIRE and that it is
DANGEROUS to partake of Holy Commuion when not prepared
(not just through reception into the church but but the sacrament of Confession).
So this is WHY the Orthdoox Church is responsible to both those in and out of the church;
it is responsible for the caretaking and even discipline if needed of those who are members;
it does not endanger those who are not members by giving them Holy Communion.
***
Now that this is said, God is not bound.
I am NOT at all personally saying that this means that any Christian outside of the
Orthodox Church is not a Christian or not being given Christ's Body.
***
Like HI, my family is all Protestant and love God and I RESPECT them a lot.
***
Anyway, it is was understandable, since one of this author's huge struggles is
feeling that she is allowed to be included in the human race as equal to all
others humans in our world, that she would be upset that the Orhtoox church
is not including her by excluding her from Holy Communion.
***
But what can we do?
She's a Protestant. She may not believe that the Gospel of John chapter 6
when Christ says
this IS My Body
this IS My Blood
that Christ actually meant IS.
As in real presence, real amazing holy miracle of being feed Jesus directly
through the sacrament of Holy Communion.
***
It's like a family that has a practice that is specific to them and can't be shared or
is misunderstood by those outside of the family;
that she has misunderstood the Orhtdoox Church by one childhood encounter
that she either is mis-remembering or was NOT actually in a REAL Orthodox church,
it's totally understandable.
***
HOWEVER I am clearly NOT sitting down and allowing my
Church that I joined 21 years ago to be dismissed like that. LOL.
***
So please forgive me for my slightly SPUNKY rant but it just felt a tad
UNFAIR to be dismissed like that.
Like HI, I became Orthodox becuase it was what God called me to do
and if you are Orthodox as long as I am,
it means you were called to suffer LOL but it does also mean that we
rather love the Church and may feel a bit MIFFED at being so
quickly dismissed.
***
as one of my friends likes to say
YOU DO YOU
and I do ME.
***
Now, RANT OVER LOL.
***
I think what I liked about the book the most was that it encouraged
gentleness towards one's own story and to other people's story and experience.
While I felt the writing as in places a bit uneven (I am VERY picky about writing, ironic since
my first draft, like most, is very much in need of help and I don't even want to go there) it had
a lot to offer. But it also felt a bit insular.
***
Like I was basically excluded from it for more than just because I am a convert to
the Orthdoox Church; my very mind and the fact that
I am neurodivergent in how I see things means
the following:
1. In general I don't see people as different from each other -
from different places sure but not
different than another.
2. I often don't see catagories like other people.
I often don't understand sysetems or hierarchy at all.
3. I see things in layers of meaning 3 or more deep really quickly.
But with the above two things in place.
4. I had no idea I was high in associative intelligence
until I read Autistic Thinking two years ago.
I was 47, super ill with Complex PTSD and
all of a sudden God gave me a book that
explained my entire childhood and why I was alone but not unhappy.
Teased a lot and bullied but with God and knowing His love....
and I had a loving God loving family...
***
but see the very fact that I can't see difference
and would not be afaid to say that I see
everyone the same makes me feel excluded.
Here's why:
she feels excluded by those who do not understand that by saying
that a person sees everyone from every place the same to her means
you are excluding her;
basically if you tell her that you see every one the same,
it means you are being exlusionary instead of just being yourself.
Because her big story is how she felt abandoned, bullied and not allowed to be
her true self because people either mocked her for being who she was or
made her feel invisible by not seeing who she was,
in terms of her family of origin and heritage.
So you can see WHY she thinks someone saying
I don't see others as different is exlusionary to her because she
felt so unseen and wants to be seen for who she is which means
differnent than others. But what if you can but can't actually see that?
Can you include me in your thinking and see that not everyone who says
but I don't see you as different than someone else is not always being
exlusionary or worse?
***
I am not saying more or in more ways because I don't want
AI Bots making my blog out to something I don't want to be seen as,
and that's someone who excludes others.
***
Does everyone's story mean that someone else's story is excluded?
Really, that's the unasked, unmentioned question of her book and of our culture today.
***
well, I have to go and don't want to lose these thoughts and Mr Husband needs
me to do night prayers with him so with no further Ado,
I am going to push print on all my ramblings and hope for the best!
***
May God have mercy on us!
***
I hope I wrote the above OK, it's certainly speaking
straight from the hip as they say,
or I think that's how they say it LOL...
***
I am adding a bit more -
I guess I just felt surprised by how parts of her belief and retoric
made me feel so utterly excluded when she is talking the whole time
about learning to be included.
But see, I am too.
I learned through some of the deepest most searing pain of my life,
with so many mistakes, deep brokeness and confusion
(Complex PTSD stage 1 anyone?)
that I was neurodivergent, what that could mean and look like
what the strengths and weaknesses of my mind
and I saw myself and my childhood
for the first time in a totally
different way. So it really hits extremely
close to home to have another writer,
who I like, who is basically about my age,
one of the people who wrote her a blurb in her book I knew when I was 19;
so well, hey, I am already in some huge grief,
so feeling that way from a book
that overall I found gentle and full of love,
was difficult.
***
But I guess what I am saying is that I am learning a new way myself
what she has in her journey, but in very different ways.
***
My Cross in life is more heavy because now I understand that I
am intelligent in ways I did not realize.
I know my writing project, which I purposely only talk about
indirectly here, is going to take me years to complete.
Because the research alone for it is very extensive and,
since I have read MA thesis and PhD thesis or at least skimmed them
and looked at the Biblography of them -
I know my writing project is at that level, if not times 3 because
of the research scope.
But see when I talk about that,
I learned that I can intimadate people,
when I am just being myself,
my same introvert/extrovert, awakard, grieving stumbling self.
I have high intelligence in some areas.
On the other hand, I have gotten lost just turning around in a room
and Google Maps, which is good, often does not help because
I am that bad at geospatial intelligence LOL.
EVERYONE is intelligent in some area!
Some are wildly intelligent with their hands,
being able to make things
(knitting, crocheting, tatting, sewing)
or fix things (like cars and things) or
they have people smarts / street smarts
or they are really good at math
but can't fix anything etc.
***
Anyway.
LONG blog post. But some of mine are.
that's OK.
***
I really learned a lot from this little book.
But I have questions that no one has been able to answer that are
about how do we learn to listen to each other?
how do we learn to not exclude others when telling our own story?
***
I really don't know.
***
but like her, I want to say that I am included too.
It's OK that I am different.
But I am also a human being and all humans beings
have difference and sameness to them.
***
How do we learn to listen to each other?
And not hurt in the process?
I surely don't know but it's things I think about a lot.
Our world is so polorized, so divided.
***
Lord, have mercy on us!
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