It's still strange to be back as it were... I have been well for about a week.
When I looked at the calendar and realized that it has only been a little time... it rather is surprising.
And makes my feelings more understandable.
Feelings of shock, of shyness, of reticence.
It's a lot.
And in ways I am still rediscovering things. Not that I have forgotten something but since I don't read the news .... sometimes I don't realize what is over and what is ongoing.
I almost done with the steroids that I was put on. My doctor thinks my memory issues are from this. Also, horrifyingly, the very sleep med I was desperate to have may have done it or contributed.
It was scary for me and so confusing. I came out of the amnesia in stages and sometimes I would "wake up" not knowing who I was or why I was washing my candlestick. Once I "woke up" not knowing anything and was on a walk with my Husband on a cold grey day with cutting wind and felt that the world was dystopian, ugly and I was horrified. It was such a painful process.
It really helped that my Mom came. She was such a source of comfort. She kept telling me that I would get better, that many people were praying for me. As I improved would also tell me this. That I was getting better.
Once, when I was getting much better but walking up from a nap I may not have realized that I had lost my memory. One of these times I woke, realized my Mom was here, that I had lost my memory, I burst into tears. I had thought it was a dream. That it had not happened.
I think my biggest struggle since I have been better (as in no having memory loss issues) is shock. I just can't believe that it happened. Yet it did.
Physically I am quite weak. I feel shaky still and well low-grade rotten feeling pretty much all the time.
It's going to take a while for a full recovery.
Thanks for your prayers comments and emails.
8 comments:
I'm sorry to read that you have been through so much. It must have been terribly scary not having your memory. Hoping you are on the road to being yourself again.
I am a very long time reader, but only very occasional commenter on your blog. Many prayers for your complete recovery! Katie
I'm so glad your Mom could come and be with you. You're on the mend and hopefully will feel stronger day by day. Take good care, GM
I am so very relieved that you are ok Elizabeth. I've had you in my prayers and was so happy to see your new posts. It's so comforting to have had your mom with you and your husband. I pray you get stronger each day.
Can your husband ask that the priest make an anointing of the sick “soborovanie” at your home? Praying for your recovery!
It's good to read you are getting better, dear Elizabeth! Prayers for your continued healing, and all God's blessings to you and your husband.
I asked my sister, Mary, if she knew how you were and she had heard from a Canadian friend that your mom was spending time to help you, glory to God. I'm glad you're on the mend, dear Elizabeth!
I appreciate you sharing more about your experience, Elizabeth. While this all was terrible to experience, it's fascinating to read about your experience and I can imagine (to whatever degree I truly can) that shock would be something you'd experience as you come out of your amnesia. I'm so glad you're on the mend.
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