Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Christmas Joy in Sorrow

Tuesday morning: Royal Hours, Vesperal Liturgy of St Basil 

9 AM-12:30PM

I learned that my Husband's Aunt Gert passed away early this very morning.

We had seen her this past year when visiting family...

For various reasons, we can't go to the service for her but are praying.

thinking and grieving at home... 

***

Already years ago, I read her the first draft of the beginning of my 

writing project....

I will try to write about her again later, as it will help me

and honour her...

Holy Supper, Christmas Eve.

Long time readers will remember my dear 6 year old Munchkin whose 

Dad unexpectedly died years ago...

Well this Munchkin is now graduating high school, DV, this year....

"Auntie" Elizabeth is so proud of him ... 

This vigil bread is incredible... after the blessing and anointing with oil...

Lit candles for my Husband's Aunt Gert various times, 

such a blessing to be able to do.

***

I was thinking many things, including, how would I explain to his family,

God-loving Protestants, that we pray for all, living and departed because 

God is the God of the living: of Abraham, Issac and Jacob

and I thought this way:

We are lighting candles for our loved ones by the Holy Feet of our 

Lord Jesus Christ

and bringing them to Christ and laying them at His Feet...

Hotel for the night...we actually slept OK, a huge blessing!

***

Christmas Day!

I woke up at 5 AM something and was up by 6 AM...

***

I always wear. since 2016, the same beautiful Indian wrap skirt...

it's mainly gold.. the night before (it's reversible)

I wear the 'red' patterned side...

I only wear it on Christmas Eve and Christmas day

(other than I wore it to a wedding once too!!!)

During Christmas Liturgy we found out of the passing of a 

dear friend's Mother and so I lit more candles by the feet of Jesus...

We (our church) were all so sorry for the one who was in such a 

fresh loss and on Christmas day...

a Holy Day to fall asleep in the Lord....

Saint Mama Gabriel's icon in our church...

I always try to remember to go this icon,

it's one of the most beautiful icons of St Gabriel that I have ever seen...

(Mama in Georgian means Father!)

The front of my pretty Christmas skirt!

We split a fancy shortibs beef dinner for our Christmas night at home...

We got so many treasured gifts...of course this very pretty mug, with

gold leaf, was an instant 'winner' LOL and is from a dear friend and dishes

and me always go together and I just knew that I would really treasure this mug

especially because of the friendship that it symbolizes...

We opened gifts after dinner...

by this time I was a bit extra spacy,

between not having enough sleep, the Sorrow of the deaths of two 

people we all knew (one being a relative, the other a Mother of 

a dear family in our church),

the beauty of the thoughtful gifts from church family...

I was getting teary...

***

The box of gifts with the ornament HOPE and the beautiful journal

God has made everything beautiful in it's time...

when I could not sleep because I had so much unprocessed things over the 

last two days, was definitely making me cry, but not just of sadness 

of the great hope we have, that I have...

And that journal was the same verse of a journal 

(same style different cover) that I used when I had PSTD really bad...

it was the one I wrote things down in my therapy sessions, so very 

close, dear and treasured...

also because I know I am so much better than I was when I needed 

that first journal...

***

But let me tell you ... I can tell I am sad too because I want to go shopping

which is basically a sign of this for me!

But I understand this and it's OK...

***

So I have not gotten much sleep this past night,

it's now 4 AM... 

but I know that I will get better again, this is just how I react to not only 

beautiful holy days, but unexpected loss and grief...

***

But do pray for us, because when I don't get enough sleep,

I am way more loopy/spacy and it's hard on me but especially 

hard on my Husband... 

***

We are having a small dinner party this Friday, which if you knew me

and understood what's best, you would know this is the BEST

thing for me because using my Christmas Spode dishes and having friends over 

during the 12 days of Christmas, and on a fast-free Friday,

is so good for me...

***

Meanwhile, I will post this and try to sleep again soon

(first some more tea and some food, as I am getting hungry and that

will keep me from sleeping, 

the 'good' thing is that I have not eaten tons in the last two days

so I can eat in the middle of the night now...)

***

Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

***

With Christ, on Christmas, with the unexpected sorrows of life.

we can truly be given Joy that is given to all who Sorrow...

A new to me book and words that hold so much 🙏

 

I have a few books under (of all things) the grey arm chair by my reading table and I pulled a pile out -- because I can't find a novel I bought but have not read yet -- and found this one.

It's really good.

I feel so happy because it's so hard to find a novel that "clicks" and I am hoping to find more so this was exciting.

The lines about Milton were plain funny (though I didn't mind reading him myself but still it is rather funny -- at least to me!)

Well.  My Christmas gifts are small this year.  I finally got the bags I needed for them. 

I have a research idea for my writing project that I am feeling excited to learn about.

It's going to be a lot of work but hopefully finding more things to read to inspire me in my own writing.

I am reading 3 Corrie ten Boom books right now (2 are devotionals).

Tuesday is Christmas Eve.  

I have been thinking about 2 words:

Faith and Joy. 

This shows some progress in my recovery because for the longest time I couldn't bear the idea of joy.  I had so much fear, devastating loss and everything was in ruins. 

So to even be *thinking* about these words at all is huge. And, well, a bit scary.  Because I have been hurt deeply by so many types of things.

They are not words 

Faith and Joy 

That means everything will be OK ... As in Happy, Peaceful, Sunlit and Straightforward. 

No.  Joy includes pain. Joy of All Who Sorrow. 

Like this dear icon (Mother of God Joy of All Who Sorrow)

And Faith, includes Faith when everything IS in shambles.  

It's what Corrie ten Boom sister told Corrie to tell everyone about:

"that there is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still."

May God have mercy on us all. 🕯️🙏🩷

Christmas is in the Heart

I woke up with this sentence:

Christmas is in the Heart.

Christ was born in a Cave.

Let us have Christ in our Hearts. 

I am going to be busy with all the last Christmas preparations.

So many suffer.  Deeply.

May God protect us and grant us His peace.

A Good Beginning

I enjoyed a special tea from my Advent tea calendar! So the first tea I drank this year was fortnum and Mason's. Victoria Grey! You could really taste The twist of licorice and honey in it. I really enjoyed trying a new take on the Earl Grey tea!  

I made my cranberry orange muffins into little cakes. As I mentioned yesterday! They're so fluffy and light! I think I added a tadmore orange juice and certainly enough baking powder. Because they were made into little cakes. My husband thinks of them that way instead of as muffins. So he's determined to enjoy an entire little cake today! But what could be better for New Year's Day? 

I hope your day is off to a beautiful start! 

I'm off to do more cleaning and later will be taking a walk with my beloved husband! And it's a sunny cold day today. We had a bit of snow last night! I'm very thankful. Looking back. I did a lot of grieving this past fall. And I think I needed to do that grieving. But now I can look further a little bit and see that I have really by God's mercy been healing and that God's mercy is truly new every morning and that it's possible to grow and have in a way a new start. 

And the wonderful thing is that we are never alone. That the Lord is with us, the Saints and through books we read those authors. I was very touched by Corrie's last entry to her first devotional book and that she knew they she was journeying with the person reading. 

And so with God's help let us begin. 🙏🫖🕯️