The nurse practitioner felt that my ears are okay. Other than that there's fluid in my left ear. She didn't see signs of infection. However, my doctor has referred me to an ENT. I'm now having pain even just looking down a little bit. You know like to get something from a table. I'm sleeping I hope in my husband's recliner at his wise suggestion because my head can be even higher. And it's more comfortable. Even within all of this I have so much to be thankful for. I have a husband who cares about me. I don't have the pressure of an outside job to do. I've definitely been struggling this week which is clear and the one thing I'm thank God seeing is that I just need to rest. The rest of whatever I need to do will come as it's supposed to.
I feel a little discouraged perhaps because I was doing a lot better but healing is like that. Especially with the type of illness complex PTSD that I have. It's even in the literature that the healing isn't straightforward!
I had an early dinner before the 5:00 p.m. appointment. I'm grateful for so many blessings.
I'm trying to remember to be thankful because it truly changes you and your mind. I've been reading about that even in Instagram psych pages about Hope and Thanksgiving. And I have all the reason for both because I know that our Lord Jesus loves us died for us and is right here with us.
I'm also so blessed because I'm not sick like some. Everyone has the cross in life according to God's wisdom.
Thank you again, everyone who has been praying for me leaving comments and just reading!
Ok. It's 5 AM. I did get some sleep. Maybe 3+ hours? I really love this song.
Folks, I got fluid in my left ear now. My doctor had recommended using saline drops in my nose (taken when lying down) to try to get it to my ear canel which was supposed to make open again but I am wondering if the fluid got trapped there instead.
I ordered garlic oil, it comes tomorrow. I don't have FB on my phone so I did not get the comment about that until later (I was out a lot of yesterday).
In 12 hours I will be DV (Lord willing) in NYC seeing a Nurse Practiionar in person. Please pray for that.
My beloved Husband and I are staying local today for church as we need the rest (far away church 1 hr plus drive 1 way). Whereever God brings us, there we are; moment by moment.
I have been LOVING this song since I heard it some months ago. Music is not just poetry, it's PRAYER. This one is very powerful.
Please pray for me and I thank God for your prayers!
Here's the lyrics:
Take my life and let it be
My soul devoted Lord to Thee
Take my moments and all my days
Make them endless praise
Take my heart and let it move
In spirit and in truth
For the glory of Your name
With every breath that's in me
With every song and melody
Let it be a hallelujah
In every breaking moment
In every blessing that You give
Let it be a hallelujah
Oh Lord, let it be a hallelujah
All my hopes and all my fears
Every trial, every tear
In the chaos, You remain
Faithful all the way
Through the victories
Through the scars
Let me echo who You are
For the glory of Your name
With every breath that's in me
With every song and melody
Let it be a hallelujah
In every breaking moment
In every blessing that You give
Oh, let it be a hallelujah
Oh, Lord, let it be a hallelujah
Oh, let it be a hallelujah
Let it be a hallelujah
Nothing, but a hallelujah to You, God, yeah
Let it be a hallelujah
All my life, a hallelujah
Let it be a hallelujah to You, God
With every breath that's in me
With every song and melody
Let it be, let it be, oh
In every breaking moment
In every blessing that You give, oh
Let it be a hallelujah
Oh, I pray
Oh, let it be a hallelujah, ohh
Oh, let it be a hallelujah
All my life a hallelujah to You, God
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jonas Myrin / Michael James Ryan Busbee / Lauren Daigle
I think I am getting an ear infection. I got sick so bad because of sinus infection and antibiotics. Please pray. Thx God I have had antibiotics since and did get a rash but it resolved itself.
It was a beautiful liturgy this morning. And I had breakfast afterwards with my godson.
The level of insomnia I've had this week has been difficult. After a while it makes me hyper. It's hard and I have to kind of roll with it and try to deal with it the best I can.
I'm slowly learning what to do but learning comes at a cost.
I'm going to something special tomorrow. God willing. Not even going to write about it until after, but it will be with people who love me and I hope to wear my pretty dress that I didn't get to wear for the first time to my goddaughter's wedding this past October when we got sick. We meaning my husband and I.
The picture above is the necklace and earrings I was going to wear with the outfit for the wedding. I'm so glad I get to wear it at last. And hopefully I'll have many more special occasions to wear it.
My unbloggable concern continues but I see God's mercy...
Corrie ten Boom books continue to comfort me.
I am supposed to get ear drops tomorrow. 🙏
I talked to my Grandma today. She is 95 now and is slowing down even more. I could tell she was out of breath just talking to me. It sounds like it's getting too hard for her to continue to do grocery shopping. She gets too tired. We talked again about the humility of Christ coming on Christmas. The Lord of Glory being a baby totally helpless and weak. And how that has to do with humility and that older age often is preparing us for the next thing which of course we want to be having and so God is giving us greater humility. It comes at a cost.
But ultimately, it's what we want. I read this beautiful meditation on the concept of humility by one of my beloved authors, Sean today.
Sleep has been hard to come by this week but am getting a little sleep. Maybe 3 hours only? Not sure.
But God is blessing me too. The Cross and the Blessing often coinside....
Prayer request for me: my ear canals are small and popped backwards basically. So super plugged. Please pray that they get better AND no burst ear drum or infection.
from social media I wrote this earlier today for my grandmother. ....
Oh HI. I got my old Chromebook out since FB / Meta has my accounts all screwy. So my phone died last Tuesday and I lost a lot, I mean a total motherboard failure, would cost 800 to fix and so I got a new phone, different brand, and I lost all of my WhatsApp chats and history, everything. I can't access my public instagram account, I can't get uber or lyft or nj transit apps to work, ETC. I got to get on that part soon 🙁 But I am also thankful and I am doing a thank you God list right now. This is esp for my Grandma because she is on FB!
Here it goes:
1. I went to tea and sympathy two Monday's in a row in NYC
2. I have all my senses
3. I had the money to get a new phone, that's pretty BIG LOL
4. I made a turkey casserole yesterday and used a sauce from 2 years ago, which was encouraging because I had gotten really sick and to see that I still do anything that was good during that time is pretty huge to me.
5. The casserole dish was my + (Great) Aunt Phyl's and I love using it so much...
6. my Grandma's rose vase, I moved it to my icons after getting our wall cleaned and I love where it is now, that rose in the rose vase from my Grandma's is like our hearts being together, because God wants us to be a flower in His garden and to tend our hearts and pull out the weeds and plant beauty deep inside us via the Holy Spirit, the Comforter and Truth, and when I see that rose it's like I am seeing a prayer, a deep prayer of need, hope and beauty
7. I remember as a child seeing my Grandma's roses in her garden and she had a pink beautiful rose I think called A Peace Rose and that's everything....
++++++
So that's what I wrote!
I managed to do laundry today and some dishes. We were running out of room for where to store clean but not yet folded laundry.
So miraculously all of the three apps I use for Transit returned in working order today to my phone. So that's huge.
However, I pay for YouTube premium or whatever and my entire download list of 2 years is gone. That music sustained me for two of the most difficult years of my life. So of course I did some crying about that. I was so shocked. I should have realized I guess because I have downloaded stuff on my Chromebook And the downloads from my phone weren't there. I just didn't think about downloads not being in the cloud.
I have refound some of my most special songs already. Thankfully I have screenshotted a lot of things so I just looked in Google photos and found what I needed.
The screenshots of the song is one of those special songs... I was listening to it on St. John's Day July 2 in 2024 and that was a very special day for me. I saw one of the Holy icons of the Mother of God that day.
So in some ways I'm a bit of emotional mess yet, but that's normal when I'm triggered and when I don't have enough sleep. So I understand what's going on though I don't always realize it fully.
I'm reading the second in a series of seven of a YA series and I'm really enjoying it.
I reorganized some of my bookshelves by my reading table. I even found some books that I can lend out to a family who has a lot of kids and loves books.
So that makes me really happy.
So a lot of things to be thankful for while I'm dealing with a unbloggable prayer request.
I don't know if I've talked much about the insomnia I've been dealing with for 3 years as much as I have lately, I'm just thankful that I had a month where it was going much better.
Also on the new calendar the Nativity fast has begun and And fast periods often have trials that are unexpected and for me that often means that I will get some insomnia.
The wonderful thing is is that God is always here and I truly have so much to be thankful for...
Including for my Grandma's who is 95 now! May God have mercy on us all.
I never noticed how Larrisa's lamp is so bright towards the ceiling. 🩷
Something cool in this difficult moment: I had been doing a lot better on the insomnia front. I felt guilty for being so sick. Now I am beginning to see that I was able to do things even when unwell. Like I made this sauce 2 years ago.....
I made the Turkey casserole after coming home.... After I cleaned all the icons and put them back.... We had (don't ask long story) switched to vegetable oil and it was not the best move, caused smoke on wall 😳😢 ... Back now to using only olive oil.
I felt so upset and ashamed because of that wall. I am so relieved for the improvement! We had a handyman help us. An very glad.
And now I can have God willing pretty CHRISTMAS pictures later!!! My Christmas tree is coming soon 😂🤩🌲🎄🎄🎄
I really liked this book 📚 and am on the second one now.
I had a 4 dollar off coupon AND turns out it was buy one get one FREE. So new journals. They feel very "New York City" to me.
The second book with a new plant I bought my Husband as a surprise today.
