So hard to be at work when…

It is beautiful, 15 degrees, Sunny; good bye winter clothes, hello spring clothes! I feel like a young child though, itching to be outside; it is a crime that both children and adults are kept inside on days like this. I have taken 2 walks already and crave another one, just to see the sun, walk in warm air…

I am so glad that I do not have to live in my apartment much longer—I live in a basement apartment, and while it was fine for the winter, I get very little sunlight in it; this is bad for someone who is a bit of a ‘homebody’ and wants to be home for part of the day on Saturday…

A few more hours and I can leave for the day…

It’s beginning to look like Spring!

High of 12 degrees, sunny…

Construction still going on inside my building and there are no windows that open in the building. It seems to be a trend in academic buildings—a trend that I abhor full heartedly. No breeze, fresh air! Nearly preposterous!

None the less, Sunshine is bathing Ottawa in light…

I finished re-reading Anne Lamott’s Traveling Mercies… I am reading, writing and journaling more; I think I am beginning to process the transition to the summer (move, school, job-searching/finding, new/old church, new/old everything) and this processing has meant less talking on the phone (a miracle), more journaling, more silence, more evenings alone.

I feel bad that I have not been able to keep up with the book reading of Great Lent on the O. Café website, but I am finding that I have to read this book a lot slower… I should of known—when ever there is a spiritual book with a lot of new material and depth in it, I read it really slowly, taking note of everything, writing quotes down, thinking about it, praying about it, etc.

So the only reading I do more quickly is books that are on a different level—like Lamott’s book…

So it is;

I am feeling more heartened today than I have in a long time; for this I am so thankful. Spring is coming… and we are in the second part of lent—we are preparing for Pasca.

Presanctified

When ever it is Friday at noon (during Lent), and I know I am not going to eat or drink until I am having communion at my little church, I think of Christ’s words, that He will not eat and drink with them until the coming of the kingdom. And I think of how we believe the church is meeting earth-heaven together, because of the Eucharist and how the kingdom has come and is coming…

Sometimes I find myself thinking, I am not going to eat or drink until tonight, when the kingdom comes.

How much more must I long for the full kingdom of God to come—when all our trials and temptations are over and we are home with God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

What I am doing during the day (for now)

Incase one wondered. I won’t ask if anyone was! I am writing an implementation strategy and timeline for potential future a virtual reference service (think: IM chatting with librarians to ask questions). The fun thing is that I am really enjoying this. I love researching and writing. And the edited (i.e. by others on my team, I being the lowly co-op student etc) version will be part of the projects final report. This is due next week. Which means I am getting back to work on it now… I have over 5 pages written, half of it being in a table format. Not bad I think. Not that I have edited it yet myself!

both/and or living in provision and need all at once...

It seems that I really have a place to live for the summer; I have moved so much lately that it always surprises me that things continue to workout. I have the sublet, I am getting the cat Cleo. I still have to try to get a part time job for the summer and am working on loan applications. Unfortunately I am exhausted and feel like my life never allows me to fully gain the rest that I need; I still feel that I am constantly behind on things and in this part of my life am still struggling.

As far as I know…

I am getting the sublet I mentioned in previous posts. I admit that I get nervous that good things like this will fall through. But it should be fine. Now I am just hoping that I will get the other part of my dream—my friend’s (who is getting married in June to a lovely man who is allergic to cats) cat Cleo. My friend and I have been talking about me having Cleo since last September—and now I have a sublet that can have a cat (though in Ontario actually there is a law that says pets are allowed in rented places anyway) and I am not yet sure how Cleo is getting from Michigan to Ontario.

I am really really hoping that this will work out; it is hard enough to leave friends and church family, but I am also returning to a city where most of my library friends are already gone—so I am going to a city where I do not have many people I know. Thankfully I have my little Orthodox church and a few people—but really—of those I am close to there—there are only 2 left and they are both really busy… thus to me having Cleo the Cat would be good—maybe a little less lonely, practically speaking.

Well. That’s my story for this lovely Sunny Friday in Ottawa.

Tonight is presanctified at my church and I am so glad that DV this weekend I can be at church 5 times! (including tonight).

Hope everyone has a good weekend…

Random realization

I just realized that the Greek word for “word” ‘logos’ is also the English word logos—wow. This is interesting. From Eternal Word to a word for advertising slogan/s.

I say this can be a commentary on our western/north American culture…

And perhaps also even our Christian subcultures…

An interesting thought, this…

Home

It seems that I will have the apartment near my school for the summer! This is a relief; I am encouraged by this working out…now I just have to trust that my dreams and goals for September Job-Ottawa-Apartment will also work out…

I am excited to make this apartment into a temporary summer home…

(though leaving Ottawa, my little church and spiritual father is going to be really hard, even if I am only leaving for the summer…)

pondering one's home/s

I may have a place to live this summer! I have to go back to school to finish my last 3 courses of my masters degree [in library and information science] and I may have a small one bedroom apartment, with wood floors, that I can sublet for the summer… am quite excited about this and encouraged. The place is exactly what I am looking for… now I just have to find a job for after August 11, when I will be done…

It is so hard to believe that my dream may really come true sometime soon (apartment, Ottawa, job, church and cat!)…

It is interesting to think about this in regards to constantly seeking God… it seems to be a tension—I long to make a home here on earth (apartment, my belongings, a cat) yet my true home is not here on earth at all… yet again, my home, my life, is in the church…

Many paradoxes in life…

loving church

Ah. Life. Lent is great. I am hoping between my church and the Cathedral to go to church every day this week. My church in London did not have as many services last year so I am really loving it and soaking it all in… I am not sure about the Thursday yet, but so far I am feeling quite happy about lent and being in church so much. I will miss it next week!

(Though my house does need to be cleaned eventually…)

Today feels like…

Did you ever have the I feel like a warm fuzzy book when you were a child? Well. Today I feel like it should be a holiday. Not perhaps the best feeling when I am at work!

Sigh.

It must be because I am resting and today is practically balmy; sunny and – 4.

Back to work…

Gotta love it when – 4 sounds warm

Well. Today I am still tired, but felt encouraged by taking the night off. Tonight I plan on resting again and hope to make some real progress towards inner rest—to be a bit more refocused. I am relieved it is almost lent; things have been so hectic and I hope that things will slow down for me, especially as I will officially not be living in my current apartment in 2 months. Am giving my landlord my 2 months notice today.

This too is hard, but I am seeking to be peaceful.

I realized that my life [and many people’s life today] is not normal—it was never normal to be one single person moving alone over 6 times in 10 years; I know that there were always travelers, and some who did this; yet even the Hebrews in the wilderness moved as a group and with the Arc of the Covenant. I am greatly craving stability and rest and a community that’s general location does not change…

Meanwhile I will seek to strengthen myself in the Lord and in His church…