This week

Is unlike other weeks for me; I try to never miss things, esp. church things. But I have been really tired and have given/made myself have the week off. So I am missing to night church services, postponed seeing some friends and will not resume socialness until Friday night (Korean restaurant for a church friend’s birthday). What I am hoping this will do for me is: give me rest, including rest in God.

Life is hard and mine is no exception, though I have little to complain about on the grand scale of things. So this week is going to be a more quiet one, where I am hoping to really begin lent well (which I am thinking of not being as social either).

I am soon moving to London Ontario again, sometime soon after Pasca, and I find this really painful. I have gotten really close to my new 6-months so far church and it is bringing a lot of memories of how incredibly hard it was to leave my first church, St. Herman’s in Langley. When I got home from BC, almost 2 full years ago, on March 5, I barely spoke for 3 days (I also did have a really bad cold, but still, if you know me, you will know that I am usually not so silent!)

So I am beginning to face leaving again, and am seeking to deal with the fears I have of not being able/allowed to come back—I really want to be rooted in a place and in a church and really want these roots to be in Ottawa, as I have gained a Father-Confessor for the first time and really like Ottawa. (And it is in the same time zone as my family, which is really good as well).

The one good thing is that at least I am not going to something new—the school and church I know…

Now is the time for me to seek to enter into rest…

Wow is it Monday

I am so tired; probably did not help that I woke up early. It was a beautiful sunny -19 this morning and I was so lost in thought that I did not even notice; co-workers commented on the cold before I clued in to why I still felt cold after being a work for a while…

Thankfully I have a tea pot and chamomile lemon tea…

Now if only lunch would give me renewed energy; I feel so sleepy…

in case you were wondering :)

Today: drinking hot chamomile lemon tea
Feeling: cold
At: work
Emotion: fairly happy
Hope: to find a job in Ottawa
Tonight: dinner w. fellow librarian
Tomorrow night: making Elie’s lamb dish for meatfare Sunday after liturgy
Loving: all those in my 4 ½ Orthodox churches

church

I know I do not blog very frequently; I feel that my life is really internally intense right now and I am processing a lot of things, which creates an added tension within myself.

However, the liturgy Tuesday night was incredibly moving. There was only a few of us there, in our little church. how to describe the church...it has high ceiling, icons with a lot of gold, blues and reds; the icon directly above the iconastasis, below the ceiling, is Christ on the throne, with the Theotokos and St. John the Forerunner presenting Him, and other saints on either side. When I am at vespers during the week, I stand in the middle and can look directly up at Christ, as well as the Cross on top-centre of the iconastatsis. Standing there, singing with the choir that is above me, is always a very moving experience. I always find myself thinking that this is truly where I love to be, where I am most alive, where my life is from and is in...

there were some specific happenings that made the vesperal liturgy for Christ's entrance into the temple very precious. Little things, like being in charge of watching over the candles that were burning low; and being asked by the reader to get the stand that our Deacon puts the Gospel on, and, standing in the middle of the church, when it was time for communion, no one was going first and I looked around and looked at our Priest and Deacon and my spiritual Father called forth, 'the servant of God, Elizabeth..." and I was first to communion; it was so moving that I nearly began weeping.

I will never forget this night...

Thanks, but…

Victoria passed on the ‘write 4’ list to me, but I do not have internet access @ home and do not have time to write this right now….. it would be fun, but I am feeling a lot of pressure in my daily schedule right now and just trying to maintain my life and be at peace. Thanks though. It is nice to be included. If I find time later, I will do it, but for now I just have to say, thanks.

exhausted but blessed

I have been quite exhausted of late; I feel that I am just getting out of this state. Thankfully I have really good friends who have helped me—I was very blessed—taken out to dinner and even help with my dishes (seriously!). So I am very well taken care of—which I need to remember when I am worrying about my near immediate job-finding future.

Another huge blessing connected to my friends is the prayer support that I receive and also that I can give.

Including prayers for many children—the new born twins, Baby Owen’s birth, and young Greta.

Truly I am deeply blessed.