Clean Monday

I love this icon so much, 

with the Lord's face looking out so beautifully

and with so much love.

***

A lot of cleaning was done at home today,

I now have piles of clean laundry to fold.

***

Mr. Husband was at work today.

He has a lot of work stress, please pray for him.

***

I made a green smoothie.

***

We went to church and this is where I saw this 

beautiful icon...

I often feel that our priest here, locally, loves Lent over

any other time and it is wonderful, this first week of Lent,

and going to the Canon of St Andrew of Crete.

I am so grateful to be given another Lent.

***

This is my 5th Lent here already in New Jersey.

How fast time goes by.

I can see how much more settled I am now,

I am not a newly married woman now, just having left her

beloved Ottawa.... I still miss Ottawa of course, this is not 

questioned, but I have enough years here to have a

sense of rhythm of the church year here,

of going to the Canon here and knowing what to expect,

what the choir sounds like here (beautiful) and I feel more

settled, I no longer think with as much pain about how my life in Ottawa

was or what the church services there are like; 

now it is more that what my Husband's spiritual father said is true:

I was not leaving my church family in Ottawa,

I was merely expanding my church family... 

***

We are in the midst of the biggest challenges we have faced as a married 

couple, to this point anyway, and while it is hard at times,

I am also feeling a gladness in the midst of it,

and for this I am so grateful....

***

I have begun writing a longer essay about something I am 

pondering about how God is our security and comfort...

For now, I will just say that my heart is being

comforted as I mourn

and ponder so many things... 

***

Dear Patrick, your life held so much beauty and now

we have the opportunity to have new spiritual beauty in our lives

because of your passing, because of the grief, 

because of seeing your life on earth in a whole,

and remembering the many wonderful years you had,

and the vibrancy by which you lived...

Lent, Day 2 ~ 2016 ~ Purl Soho, the Canon of St Andrew and friendship

Day 2 started in a much better fashion.

Mr Husband's cab ride was late, so we shared some morning prayer time,

quickly.  I found out the names of the departed from yesterday's tragedy. 

It will be good to light a candle for them in church,

I find this helps focus my 'people prayers' there.

My Sunday School Lenten materials came.

And about lunch time my quilting friend came,

and she made a carrot and orange juice as part of lunch.

I am meaning to make smoothies again and am thinking 

something like this may be in order.

Then we went to Purl Soho, where we admired everything, 

bought fabric for a new purse for me

that my friend will make, (she has an etsy store, more on that later!),

and we convinced ourselves not to buy the store out otherwise! 

Afterwards she went home and I went on to the

oh-so-exciting bi-annual dentist appointment. All was fine. I am thankful that 

Mr Husband and I can have this sort of medical care 2x year. 

We stayed in NYC and went to a local small monastic church for 

the Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, day 2.

I was really tired so we cabbed all the way home.

Later, while drinking mint tea, Mr. Husband beat me in Chess,

my 5th game ever, we think.

I told him that I am willing to keep losing but

need to learn as I do, so 

Mr. Husband and I talked a bit of Chess strategy afterwards.

*

I told Mr Husband that this is the same 'deal' I made with God after

a dear church friend died...

if I must suffer grief, then I better learn/mature somehow from it or 

I don't want to go through the loss. 

Not that one can really make 'deals' with God,

but I still want this 'deal' to be so.

I am learning that growth is very slow and suffering is sadly needed

at times, if only to try to wake me up spiritually speaking.

This fact has not made me necessarily ready to embrace 

suffering but yet, I hope in God for my salvation.

*

I am also reading Short Trip to the Edge and some other books

and thinking of various questions regarding health/spiritual health/routine/

discipline and habits. 

* 

Then our small before-bed prayers and subsequent insomnia for me!

And that was day 2 of the beautiful Fast we call

Great Lent. 

Lent 2015

Great Lent for Orthodox Christians

ended this past Friday.

*

I've written how for me personally

it was a Lent that was a bit easier - 

usually Lents for me in years past have

either had sickness, high stress or personally

devastating news on one level or another.

*

Of course I have things in my life that are unbloggable,

like we all do, but overall, things were a bit lighter this year for me

during Lent.

*

I don't expect it to be this way forever or even for long;

I always remember in the book by Fr. John,

Christ is in our midst

where he wrote basically 

to prepare for hard times when times are good

and to know that a more peaceful time 

will come after a difficult time.

*

I've found that in my life God gives a period of rest after

a difficult time and often esp. before a future difficult time.

When I was young I found that I thought life

got easier (when it was actually a grace period to rest in,

to be strengthened) because I was obeying God better in some form.

Now I know that while obedience to God does impact

our lives in life-giving ways, 

it does not at all preclude suffering.

*

One thing I have noticed about this Lent in particular,

and it was the same for my sister-friend still in Ottawa,

and that was the number of deaths of people who were

either close to or family to people we love.

*

It seems it's almost been everyday for me lately,

either through my blog friendships, church family, my 

biological family or extended group of friends from the various

places I have lived.

*

I also have friends who have severely sick friends or family

or sudden job loss.

*

This past week alone 3 new people, two very sudden and tragic 

died; family of friends of mine, each of them.

*

If you count since January Christmas, the number of people 

who have died is nearing 15 souls or so;

those who died were all individuals who were close to 

someone who I know in person or who

 I either read a blog regularly to the

point that I think of the person as a blog friend;

all of the ones who died were extremely significant

 in the lives of my friends.

*

It's been heavy that way.

*

That's why I blogged the poem last Friday.

It just seemed like the only thing I could do,

other then light many candles at home and seek to pray.

*

Well, we go through many sufferings in life;

all I know and see is that God wants to be with us

in the middle of our lives and with us in the pain that we 

carry with us and the suffering we do go through.

*

May God have mercy on us and carry us through Holy Week

and to His Most Holy Pascha.

{Offering a poem} ~ hope for consolation at the end of Great Lent

Back in the fall I gave my first poem, 

written year ago, here.

Lent is often

fraught with great struggle,
even to the point of 

heart-rending loss, anguish. 

There is not a day that goes by it seems 

that I do not have a story of struggle and pain

from dear friends in my email inbox,
even this past week,
I got news of both a mother and a brother's
unexpected deaths and the devastation of the families.

*

The poem I am offering today is one that I wrote

in the middle of a time I was in great struggle, 

I was in severe job loss/money shortage, my health

was poor (I think from the stress of that time), and I was 

told that my health problem was a 50/50 chance of cancer.

So, a hard time.

I've learned that
sometimes, in the hardest of times, 

God teaches you things that you could not otherwise learn.

*

Today I give you this poem,
that came from when I was in struggle,

as something I hope can offer strength of sorts at end of 

Great Lent 2015.

*

The Hands of God 

If I die before I wake,
I am in the hands of God
I have no fear
I am at peace
I love our Lord Jesus Christ our Faithful Saviour and High Priest.
To whom by His mercy, will and my desire,
I belong.
I am in the hands of God.
These hands are the strongest safest hands;
I am perfectly sound and well here.
God will and has hid me beneath His wings
The devil is defeated, Christ has destroyed death by death
and I long to meet my Saviour face to face.
I am in the hands of God
Who loves me and gave Himself for me.
I am part of God’s church, I am His daughter,
I am His wife; He is my bridegroom
And I await Him patiently and with praise.
I am in the hands of God
Hands so gentle, so tender,
That they will not break the bruised reed,
They will not snuff out the smoldering wick.
As Moses asked God for the forgiveness of the Israelites
And God forgave
So Christ promises to intercede for me
to ask God for my soul.
I am in the hands of God
Who does not chastise forever
Who is mercy clothed in light.*
I am in the hands of God
Hands stretched out on the Cross saving me
Uttering forgiveness for those who nailed His hands;
I am in the hands of God
Who is merciful and who remains with me
The brute beast.
I am in the hands of God and
trust He will put me in His mansion with many rooms
That He will take me into glory
That He is ever with me
I long ever to be where I am:
I am in the hands of God,
Who I love and who loves me
with an eternal love blazing out from all eternity
I love the God whose hands I am in.
I am in the hands of God.

~ Elizabeth (of roosje:little rose blog)

This poem was dedicated in 2010 to both my 
biological father and spiritual father in Ottawa.

*from a poem by Jane Kenyon

© roosje:{little rose} blog 2015

please do not share without permission and acknowledgment with proper URL

A Monday in Great Lent

I made three batches of cookies between Friday-Saturday.

Same vegan ones I've made before.

I personally favour the one with chocolate chips and 

hand cut cranberries... :)

Mr. Husband bought me this small rose bush

over the weekend as a 'pick-me-up' which was really

sweet of him :)

We have much to be thankful for...

I was glad to be able to make cookies again,

am glad for my marriage and all that God has given me...

It's hard to imagine that we are so quickly going through

to the end of Great Lent; 

the swiftness of the days astounds me.

Soon I hope to be making cookies for 

Pascha...

and then will be the changing of icons to Paschal ones,

with Annunciation for us being this coming

Monday...

I am planning on getting yarn for another

knitting project...

for an old friend's child who is ill...

*

There are many difficult things in this life

but God is with us

and He is our Home... 

*

May we all have His Mercy. 

Lent Week One ... Towards Week Two...

The beginning of Lent,

with the beautiful 

Canon of St. Andrew of Crete,

being done in 4 parts at church in the evening,

had me using the Light Rail to go to church

three out of the four nights.

Our schedules were thrown off a bit and 

by midweek I blogged about some real discouragement

that I was facing.

I could not even manage to light our lampadas

and had a single 4 day candle burning instead...

I was able to light candles which I did,

candle after candle for some dear friends facing

sickness or other trials. 

It was not till Friday that I got the lampadas lit again.

I can only thank God for His mercy and ask His blessing 

for a fruitful Lent;

we must struggle but He will provide the increase.

And in His mercy I pray that even the small things 

we seek to do will be blessed.

*

Even though this week began with difficulty,

I am a bit more alert to the fact that Lent is for

our healing and that it is God's love that is calling us

to this time...

*

I hope to be writing a bit on some books 

that I am reading or re-reading for Lent.

I will be hoping to share that with you

in our Lenten Journey!

Ideas for the six weeks of Great Lent

• Here are a few ideas for Great Lent
• that I have had this year.
• I welcome all ideas, comments and other thoughts on
• how we can do our Lenten Journey.
• I hope to be doing some posts on books for Great Lent
• and other places for encouragement, learning and inspiration for our
• Lenten Journey.
• *
• Here is what I have so far:
• 
  
• The six weeks of the Great Lent are:
1. First Sunday (Sunday of Orthodoxy),
• Forgiveness Sunday
• ask forgiveness to family, friends
• Be at peace with everyone as much as possible
• Pray prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian
• Consider doing things like:
• limiting or stopping watching TV, listening to distracting music, having a time each day or certain days a week for 15 or 20 minutes of silence, read a spiritual book, book a time for going to Confession, being off FB, limiting computer time,
• Fasting but with humility
• Blessing of Icons
2. Second Sunday (St. Gregory Palamas),
• Put out icon of St. Gregory
• Read a homily St. Gregory wrote
• Read about St. Gregory’s life
3. Third Sunday (Adoration of Cross),
• Read the prayer to the Cross
• pray part or all of the Akathist to the Life-Giving Cross
• We are halfway there… think of ways that you can gain refreshment and strength for the rest of the way
• Think about how you or you and your family are going to do Holy Week… start planning for this, including what you will need to have ready for Pascha (practically speaking: clothes, baskets, food, recipes, hotel if needed), plan for going to confession before Holy Week
4. Fourth Sunday (St. John of Climacus),
• Put out icon of the Ladder if you have not done so and own one
• read part of St. John’s book, the ladder of divine ascent or about this book
• Read this homily about the Ladder and St. John
5. Fifth Sunday (St. Mary of Egypt),
• Put out icon of St.Mary of Egypt
• Read or listen to the story of St. Mary’s life
• Get this Akathist
6. Palm Sunday through Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday.
• Pray for God’s mercy in Holy Week as many temptations can arise
• Go to the services of Holy Week
• Be at peace as much as possible, judge no one

For our encouragement

 

The above is one of my
favourite Calvin and Hobbes comics.
*
Here's some wonderful encouragement 
as we struggle on in Great Lent.

Second Friday of Great Lent

A quiet day.
Mr. Husband worked from home.
Lenten lunch.
I helped a friend with a resume
and then did some paper work.
*
I also knitted while listening to most of
this long lecture ~ I find it not for the
faint of heart (no beating about the bush is another way to say it)
but at the same time I think this lecture is very
salutary ~ in the sense of curative ~ but a healing that comes
with what feels a cold sunshiny day
with brisk air and bracing air...
not always easy to breathe but at the same time
if chosen or loved,
invigorating.
(This of course is also my favourite weather
for winter time).
*
Appreciated this post on love, fear, love.
*
So my first baby blanket:


Thanks to comment and emails
I have a good idea going,
I hope!

If you look closely,
you can see I missed some spots
that I will have to knit over later
or something.
*
So I have knitted the first 5 or so rows with the
knit stitch,
then endeavored to do the stockinette stitch
but towards the beginning I accidently did two
knit rows instead of going knit, purl, knit.
But I am getting there!
The ends I am trying to knit one or two stitches of the
opposite of what I have been doing that row,
as one friend told me this will help
it not curl.
I am also doing the longer rows on top and bottom.
For another blanket I may try to do a boarder all around it.

 

I am excited to see how it will turn out!
I practiced some more with the gauge swatch and then
frogged it and began making the blanket.
It's about 80 stitches or so across
and once these two skeins are done,
I will do a solid colour and then a mix again, etc ~ as planned.
*
I hope all those who are on the
Western (i.e. Catholic or Protestant)
calendar have a blessed Good and Holy Friday.
*
For those Orthodox,
we are almost to week three of Lent!
St. Gregory Palamas!
I do need to get his homilies...
my spiritual father in Ottawa encouraged us all
to read them...
*
I pray that God is encouraging each of you
along our often challenging way
and that we will look to Christ in all things.

Around the house on a Thursday in Great Lent...

I do love flowers... 

The lemon cranberry bread being toasted...

Our kitchen sink has developed a
never-ending stream of water.
Contacted the landlord ~ hoping for a fix ASAP.

 

Cleo loves the sunshine as much as I do!
*
It was really wonderful to be at a presanctified liturgy
again yesterday...
*
Thanks everyone for your knitting suggestions!
I am looking forward to trying them!

Wednesday ~ quiet, sunshine and preparing for presanctified liturgy

I am loving the daffodils that Mr. Husband
brought me this week.

I am on the last skein for the green scarf I am knitting.
I think it will be long enough once I am finished
with this 4th skein. 

 

I talked to my friend Mara this week.
It's been three years of painful struggle for her now.
It breaks my heart and Mr. Husband
shares in the sorrow.
*
Yet we do not give up hope in Christ and His mercy.
Of course I still ask your prayers for her.
*
God willing we are going to a presanctified liturgy this evening.
I love these very much and thank God that there is one
near by tonight that we can go to.
*
It is our first Lent together as a married couple.
I think and hope that we will look back on this time with
gratefulness to God.
*
I am slowly reading the newly published Lenten book:
Meditations for Great Lent.
So far I am appreciating it very much.
*
Mr. Husband's birthday is in the next week or so
and I am hoping to finally make the cake
I wanted to make about 2 months or so ago!
*
I am hoping also to do some baking tomorrow ~
maybe the vegan brownie cookies with dried cherries
that I was hoping to make last week
but was not able to.
*
What has your day had in store for you?

To read...

I was telling Mr. Husband about this
great story of humility
of Francis Schaeffer and he said
I should post it.
He is right and here it is.
*
My sister's blog post about
how she worries about her children in Romania 
who have no parents really struck me.
*
This on Great Lent and Annunciation
(which is soon on the new calendar)
was beautifully encouraging.

Middle of Lent

 

I am grateful for Maria's encouragement
that we are half-way to Pascha.
*
Lent is very difficult for many.
Please pray for my dear
blog friend Elizabeth who is having
emergency surgery tomorrow.
*
Please also remember Noah
who has a fever again.
*
May God in His mercy
bring us to His Holy Pascha.
 

When those we love are in grief

(Picture from recent panakhyda)

*

Second week of lent has seen much sorrow.

*

Grief on behalf of someone I love greatly

who lost his spiritual father.

*

One of my dearest friends and sisters in Ottawa -

it was just confirmed that her father has

wide spread cancer

and the prospects of recovery are very dim.

*

On Wednesday she found out about

the possibility;

Thursday we prayed together for;

Friday the news of cancer was finalized.

*

Whenever these times of sorrow come

and they come to us all

it makes me want to run to everyone

and proclaim

love your family! talk to them, call them, forgive them

love them

for someday the sorrow will come

and the time of reconciliation and love

on this side

will come to an end.

*

Thank God for the Orthodox Church.

Thank God that we grieve but not without hope.

Thank God we can pray for the departed.

Thank God that in the Holy Spirit we can ask God

to tell them of our love for them;

Thank God that the liturgy here on earth joins heaven

and that in the church we are never apart...

*

Lord help us in our times of sorrow,

so that we are not utterly crushed to the ground.

*

Two Akathists for sorrow:

Akathist to Jesus Light to Those in Darkness

Akathist to the Theotokos, Joy of All Who Sorrow

*

I was given one that is for sorrow and depression;

I don't have a link for it but email me

if you need it

( roosjeblog @ yahoo . ca )

*

We must continually look the the Lord Christ and

His Holy Mother;

we are never without help.

February can suddenly feel heavy and long

It's official!

Cleo and I are looking for the door to summer!

Little things have been going on

that have got me feeling a bit bogged down.

Since the Olympics more people have been

smoking various things in my

building;

the stench was coming in my apartment and staying for hours.

I would come home to find Cleo laying on the floor instead of on a chair;

I am sure it was to get away from the smell.

My landlord advised me to cover my vents with Saran Wrap

and wow what a difference!

The smells had been so strong,

it would make me feel sick and dread coming home,

which is not the best way to feel about one's dwelling place!

Now if we can just figure out why my inside wall is vibrating;

tick, tick tick for hours...

I have bought ear plugs meanwhile.

My friends it is Lent!!

And I know these things are such small troubles!

We need God's protection, comfort and help!

Fr. Stephen's post on the slow work of grace

I found to be very comforting.

Each of my French classes are 6 weeks;

so my final exam is next Monday.

I can tell that we as a class are feeling the stress of it;

I am still forgetting simple things, like 'de' before a

adjective and how to say 'un' when

speaking or reading out loud.

***

It has been grey wet slush-rain,

my boots leaked

(will take them for repairs and re-water-proofing next week)

and I know how much I need to shake of blues

and study!

***

We must keep looking to God for salvation

step by step

as we go through these last days of February...

Feels like forever...

...since I posted!

Some weeks seem long... and this one was

esp. full and different since...

1. Lent began this week

2. In Ontario (the province I live in) it was Family Day on Monday

so I had the day off (studied over 5 hours that day

so I did not use it as a full holiday day).

I decided this was the Cleo picture for today! Love the colours

and it makes me laugh; Cleo was not impressed with

all of my picture taking that time around...

Good News!

I did well on my French Quiz!

But WOW does it seem to not even matter,

as there is so much more to learn!

I need to totally redo my 5oo plus flashcards,

that I am not really using that much

right now.

SIGH.

I am enjoying it for the most part...

Though I confess to worries then and again (read every day this week)

about finding a job once I know French.

This lent I am focusing on learning to NOT worry

and obey Christ's command not to worry...

I am not reading many books right now,

but am slowly working through

Frederica Matthewes-Green's

First Fruits of Prayer

for this Lent.

I tried it last year

but it was not the right year for it

(I did read another book that year that was good for last year's lent)

but this year seems to be the year for

this particular book.

I know I can't do much,

as French is a huge priority for me right now.

But I will do what I can

and seek to do this faithfully.

And little things matter too -

like keeping my small apartment clean-

am trying to do dishes once a day

and have been making my bed daily

and keeping my clothes put away.

Things like this can make a real difference...

May God bless the little we do

and may it be used for our healing!