third week is over

I have been working three weeks now. It is still overwhelming.

I am learning more about seeking to be at peace and trusting God.

Not much more to say than this.

Saturday Morning, Early

I did not wake until 6. This is a feat for me, as I often find myself awoken between 4 and 5 am; it seems that even though I am not a mother, I still have her hours. Ironic, perhaps, that I can relate to my newly-mothered friends who are not getting enough sleep.

Well. I read or perhaps re-read half of Sue Grafton's _O is for Outlaw_ and well... skipped the the end. She admits to writing in the more 'hard-boiled' mystery novels; I have read her on and off over the last years. She writes similar books each time, but with a progression in the character's life. I really like K. M., her main character. But I realized that the characteristics of K.M. are not what I need right now - her stubborn Independence and singular aloneness - with a few exceptions. It is interesting, however, to read about a fictional character in the first person; Sue Grafton is excellent in sustaining K.M.'s characterisation. But I find she can lead one to think that they are alone in the world and not in need of anyone else. First, we are never alone; God and His Saints do not abandon. Second, we do need other people.

It is not easy to live in this century as a single person; yet I do not want a roommate really. Sometimes even things I enjoy I do not like to do alone - like cooking. I think cookbooks sell so well because they speak of and assume some sort of community or family. I love feeding people and it is hard not to have a family to feed. I am a professional woman apparently but really it was only so I could survive and be able to support myself - not something I planned on exactly. Not that I am unhappy about it, but community and family has always been more important to me.

I am fortunate; one of my friends who I keep up with via her blog had people asking about when she would have a family etc. A very inappropriate thing to ask a single woman. As if these things are fully in our hands, as if it is easy.

Life is not easy for anyone; and I know that I am blessed that I have a job. Even if the job is a bit overwhelming right now, it has potential to be good.

I have started reading _In Remembrance of Rose_ by M.R.D. Meek... published in 1986... and also a used book I picked up, entitled _when in Greece_ by Emma Lathen, first published in 1969. The book by Meek is a British mystery and appears to promise the well written English family drama involving murder and lawyers. Lathen's book has to do with political intrigue and finance while being a mystery with murder.

Am also slowly watching a play on DVD, _The Man Who Came to Dinner_. I am enjoying it - the acting is great, I love the props and the time period - I could do without the intermissions that I cannot easily fast-forward through, however.

Later this morning I am meeting a friend; I find I have to intentionally focus on building community. When in school one more easily meets people of similar minds; out of school one has to work at it.

Okay... Thank God

Over all things are OK.

My new job is quite overwhelming; lots to do; I am praying for a part time person to help. I have found work clothes on sale and ironed others. Where I work has a dress code... Not that I did not dress up for work before; I started wearing work clothes when finishing my Honours BA years ago... I find it helpful to have clothes just for work and then, when I am home, to change. I guess in someways it is like acting - different props for different roles.

My work has a paid for by work cookie tin. Chocolate. This is wonderful. Of course now my Dormition fast is about to begin... :)

Read a wonderful line today about someone working in church... that people pray for those who work and those who work work for those who pray... reminded me of the monastery I go to when I am at my parent's home...

so I thank God.

Orange Toblerone Gelato

So the Dormition Fast for me starts this Thursday. Meanwhile I really liked my Gelato O-T cone I had tonight.

It is a lot of work to learn to run a small library. As long as I am not expected to work overtime I think I may be a happy camper, I hope. There is potential, at any rate.

I am really loving the lunch hour that I can be home for (I live and work downtown) and I love that I do not have to leave my house until 8.30 am. this is incredibly wonderful, after having to leave at 7 am or so for the last year.

Am reading Jane Langton's _Emily Dickinson is Dead_. She is an interesting (mystery) writer. I met her when I was 19. Her books always start with a theme of something triggering something that goes and builds throughout the book.

Gave Josephine Tey's _Franchise Affair_ to a friend to read. J. Tey is a great past British mystery writer.

We are having lots and lots of rain here - sunny then humid then raining by late afternoon. Today it even hailed; hail was jumping off my small wooden balcony.

I am aware of the tenuousness of this life; am praying for various people who are seriously ill. Lord have mercy.

A Beautiful Morning

The weather this morning is perfect! Sunny, cool and green. I went to liturgy for St. Herman's day and then went to the natural foods store downtown and to my other grocery store.

The first week of my job (3 days since Monday was a holiday here in Ontario) was a bit overwhelming. I am feeling better about it now, but still have a lot to learn and figure out. It is wonderful to have a job that I have Friday off! Such a relief. This Friday I cleaned and made it (albeit late) to vespers for the eve of St. Herman's day. Yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my chrismation, so it was good to be in Church. I did not even realize that I was chrismated on the Eve of St. Herman's day! I am not surprised though, since I started my journey in his church in Langley. And a wonderful beginning it was there - it has been over 4 years since I was there now, but it is hard to get back. As I already live miles and miles from my family, it is hard to get to other places. Hopefully someday, if God wills.

I am gearing up to move - have not given (2 months) notice yet, but am really anxious to move. My place is a two room (not two bedroom) apartment plus bathroom; what may be called a jr. 1 bedroom or a glorified bachelor. One of my closest friends calls it a glorified dorm room! I only have one narrow closet in the whole place, etc. So now that I have a permanent job, I am quite eager to find a nice one bedroom apartment downtown. I am dreaming of sunlight, wood floors, a living room and big closets.

I am on the old calendar at my home church (I go to the OCA Cathedral a lot too) and so we are not in the Dormition fast quite yet. So today I bought chicken to make "Ranch Chicken Bites" - a slightly unhealthy but yummy dish of chicken baked with ranch dressing and crushed sour cream and onion potato chips. YUM.

I am reading a bunch of mystery books for relaxation/de-stress time. For the fast I hope to read some Church Father's homilies on the Dormition.

Having a three day weekend makes a huge difference! I feel like I am able to put away the stress of my new job and immerse myself in the rest of my life - cleaning, cooking, church, friends. I am hopeful about my future and feel happy on this beautiful sunny day.