Saturday Morning, Early

I did not wake until 6. This is a feat for me, as I often find myself awoken between 4 and 5 am; it seems that even though I am not a mother, I still have her hours. Ironic, perhaps, that I can relate to my newly-mothered friends who are not getting enough sleep.

Well. I read or perhaps re-read half of Sue Grafton's _O is for Outlaw_ and well... skipped the the end. She admits to writing in the more 'hard-boiled' mystery novels; I have read her on and off over the last years. She writes similar books each time, but with a progression in the character's life. I really like K. M., her main character. But I realized that the characteristics of K.M. are not what I need right now - her stubborn Independence and singular aloneness - with a few exceptions. It is interesting, however, to read about a fictional character in the first person; Sue Grafton is excellent in sustaining K.M.'s characterisation. But I find she can lead one to think that they are alone in the world and not in need of anyone else. First, we are never alone; God and His Saints do not abandon. Second, we do need other people.

It is not easy to live in this century as a single person; yet I do not want a roommate really. Sometimes even things I enjoy I do not like to do alone - like cooking. I think cookbooks sell so well because they speak of and assume some sort of community or family. I love feeding people and it is hard not to have a family to feed. I am a professional woman apparently but really it was only so I could survive and be able to support myself - not something I planned on exactly. Not that I am unhappy about it, but community and family has always been more important to me.

I am fortunate; one of my friends who I keep up with via her blog had people asking about when she would have a family etc. A very inappropriate thing to ask a single woman. As if these things are fully in our hands, as if it is easy.

Life is not easy for anyone; and I know that I am blessed that I have a job. Even if the job is a bit overwhelming right now, it has potential to be good.

I have started reading _In Remembrance of Rose_ by M.R.D. Meek... published in 1986... and also a used book I picked up, entitled _when in Greece_ by Emma Lathen, first published in 1969. The book by Meek is a British mystery and appears to promise the well written English family drama involving murder and lawyers. Lathen's book has to do with political intrigue and finance while being a mystery with murder.

Am also slowly watching a play on DVD, _The Man Who Came to Dinner_. I am enjoying it - the acting is great, I love the props and the time period - I could do without the intermissions that I cannot easily fast-forward through, however.

Later this morning I am meeting a friend; I find I have to intentionally focus on building community. When in school one more easily meets people of similar minds; out of school one has to work at it.