40th Day: without Cleo

Pictures are from Christmas day 2017 when 

we missed Christmas liturgy because we were sick. 

I did not know that two years later, 

Cleo would have her last Christmas with us

(Jan 2019). 

Cleo, I miss you very much

and I love you. 

All of these pictures, she is by Mr Husband 

or on his chair.

She was always nearby to those who were sick.

She was nearby to me so many times

and she was such a sweet comforting cat. 

***

Cleo, I will always love you and will always miss you.

I didn't know, years ago...

...how hard, how painful, it is to lose a pet 

that has been with you for so many stages of my life...

since the end of graduate school, 6 of the 7 years in Ottawa, 7 years in NJ,

from having me single, dating, engaged, married.... and everything

in between... you just have to google my blog and Cleo to see how much

she has meant to me... 

I am probably going to share many pictures of Cleo eating. 

She mainly lays in the laundry room now, with trips to bathroom (next door)

and food (down the hall and to the left).  

I can assure you she still LOVES her wet cat treats, her milk and 

French Vanilla Ice Cream and still meows her requests quite

vehemently :)

But I know the end is nearing. She is so thin.

More sensitive to touch even, other than on her face and 

under her neck.

However, as my Husband pointed out...

Cleo is enjoying milk like it's an Olympic Sport she laps it up so quickly!

And then inspects the saucer carefully to make sure she did not miss one drop!

She is seriously into her treats... and it makes us laugh,

even though we know soon, she will be absent...

so it's hard and I cry but then I laugh and feel lighthearted.

From what I gather, this is all part of the process and I found my heart

filled with thanksgiving for Cleo and even for her dying because I know that

God is good, He loves all of His creation and somehow nothing good is ever lost.

How it all works out, with creation being renewed, a new heaven and earth...

My Husband brought us falafel which we enjoyed very much, at home...

***

I did various phone errands today 

(It was a heat advisory real feel up to 99F!) so I stayed home...

and I did dishes.  

I did not sleep the best (always happens if I am grieving, meaning

I woke about 5:30 AM or so) and with feeling sad, 

I just felt like eating vegan chocolate Popsicle and watching Perry Mason.

That I read my prayers, did my list of things to do, finished reading a book

and did not watch any Perry Mason till later afternoon, with said Popsicle,

for me was a what I am calling success. 

***

But the good thing is I know I will get through this grief.

I know God is merciful and good.

I know God is our Creator and He created Cleo and gave her to me

to care for and be blessed by.  

***

To be sure I answer Lisa's question, in case you did not see it in my comments on my last post,

I can't postpone my travel.  And I will be seeing a lot of family including ones that are

in the elderly category and one never knows when one's visit becomes one's

last visit, so as much as I wish I could change that, I really can't.
***
Lisa, I meant to add: when Mr Kibble (a cat for those who don't realize) was dying,
how could you tell that he was going? I don't know what to look for,
if Cleo gets to that stage soon.
I just gave her her medicine and she is now having more milk...
when I picked her up, I could feel even more bones than before.
She is slowly dwindling to fur, skin and bones.
I am glad she is loving her milk so much.
I think it must be soothing to her...

***

Well.  Thank you everyone who is praying for myself and for Cleo.

I can't tell you how grateful I am!

May God help us no matter what we are facing! 

Lord have mercy on us and shine Your face on us 

and save us!

Monday ~ Loving a Young Munchkin

My brother-in-law and Mr. Husband got the

futon couch up!

The seat of the couch is 55" in depth so it

is big enough for a smaller child to sleep on for a bed!

We put down soft flannel sheets for bed, lots of pillows

and Bears, Rabbits and an Eeyore! 

The paper, crayons and water colours that I ordered

have been used this afternoon!

Some nice cards have been made!

Cleo is still not sure what to think of new people

but she is doing well.

*

This morning we went to the pool!

*

It's a good time for me... still getting our 

rhythm down for these days but

this morning we did some small prayers and

I am finding this book to be invaluable

in suggestions on how to talk about the God,

including the mystery of the Holy Trinity,

to young children. 

*

I am a bit tired with so much going on,

but the main rhythm of pool in the morning and 

afternoon at home is working well for me.

*

The munchkin I and Mr. Husband are watching

loves St. John like we do!

We are going to bake a cake for St. John's day tomorrow

or the day after, on his day!

We are hoping to find our vegan chocolate chips 

for the cake tonight but we will see!

Either way, it's going to be fun to bake

a cake for St. John with my young 6 year old munchkin

that we are caring for this week and next!

*

Saint John loved children

and I am so glad we have such loving Saint to celebrate! 

Progress and Hope to be done... in a few months :)

This dimly lit picture is the office; still in boxes

and in clutter but we will get there.

I have lots of plans and hopes...

My one goal for today is to move a bunch of the library

to the living room bookshelves...

things that are not as valuable as there is more

possibility of sun exposure in the living room... 

Exciting to me right now is just to have a few places

of order and peace as we continue to unpack

and find places for things.

I am loving this little spot on the dresser.

The mug has our prosphera bread that 

we are given at our church...

we have it first thing in the morning

with a little holy water, 

before we eat or drink other things;

it's a real blessing... like being given

a blessing and strength for the day!

We don't have most of our icons unpacked and up yet...

so this lovely corner is our current prayer corner.

It works and is a lovely start.

*

We hope to get some sort of icon shelf/rail 

in our chapel for various icons... 

this hopefully will happen in July when 

Mr. Husband's parents come;

they had to change dates with us

due to strawberry season and harvesting,

but this is fine for us too,

we are excited to have them come!

I got this icon diptych at an antique mall

in Grand Rapids years ago with my Grandma;

it was made in Rome.

The candle was a gift from a dear friend and is made

at the monastery in Brownsberg Quebec.  

The candles in the glass jar are also from Orthodox monasteries. 

I am determined to have much less clutter in our home.

This coat rack used to be just layered with things.

Now it has the essentials and our master bedroom closet,

which is about twice the size of our old one

has the excess. 

I am so pleased about this.

*

My Dad used what was already around to anchor this 

bathroom shelf unit to the wall.

It is so sturdy now!

The double sink is just lovely.

The sink on the left has some cracks in it

but is structurally still sound,

as in no chance of leakage.

I still have to put our wedding crowns back up 

above the bed.

We have boxes to unpack yet in the closet

before boxes that are in the bedroom can be properly stored.

*

I am finding that working on one chosen area

helps a lot in the unpacking progress.

*

Oh, and thank God: I found my camera charger!!

I opened up the shades and sat Cleo down so she

can enjoy the window view.  

She is still learning about places in this new home.

I am still loving the paint colours.

And it is wonderful to have the two big windows 

and have shades for them.

It cuts down the heat from the sun and the light 

exposure on things.

*

Little by little we will get things unpacked!

I am realizing, esp. with Mr. Husband parent's later 

arrival to help with some things,

that it will be sometime before everything is 

situated. But it is going well and 

I have my kitchen clutter free

which is a huge relief.

*

Years ago when I just could not seem to keep things clean,

my spiritual father in Ottawa told me that just having 

one area clean and organized can help one's 

equilibrium and keep one from being totally discouraged 

and overwhelmed by it. 

I am finding this to be true...

and that one must choose a small area to work on 

and go from there.

*

Little by little,

we will make our new condo a home! 

Cleo...

Some thoughts that I wrote before

we became homeowners and are in the two weeks of busy

{preparing our new place to move in and moving in!} ~ Enjoy!

My beloved Cleo Cat...

I was writing out some cards the other day

and I looked up and there was Cleo

on the chair next to me... :)

She will also sit like this when I am sitting in the same chair...

Pretty cute, eh? 

Woosh ~ the weekend ~ and now the holiday Monday!

Pictures from Saturday...

~preparing the Great Room/aka living and dining area...

{we are going to need a few more arm chairs}...

*

We came back after liturgy and brunch with dear friends

to a beautiful sight!

My Dad had finished the painting on Saturday night!

I love this window and this so cheery yellow!!!

Trim and new crown moulding in kitchen is next...

A cherry long hallway!

Cleo's going to love running down this...  

It looks so much better.

We really want to keep the light and brightness of this place,

so we are doing more minimal window treatments...

some pretty lace valances and really good blinds to pull down

when we need it dark :)

My Mom and Dad were still out at their church and

exploring where they used to live

when we came to see what my Dad had accomplished!

It was a lovely Sunday...

I was really tired but some really good food at a local diner

and the post liturgical nap did help a lot.

*

It's been so nice to have my parents here....

My Mom is Mothering our new place by cleaning it all...

My Dad is doing his beautiful painting and has installed 

new white wood closet doors, fixed things and in general

is making our place much better.

*

Mr. Husband and I still have more to pack today 

but are hopeful to wrap it up soon!

It's so hard to leave our beautiful new home nightly to 

go back to our more chaotic in-packing-mess home

but two more sleeps and we will be in the new place,

God willing!

*

Move DV Wednesday and we have requested the same

crew for the move...

*

I am so thankful for everyone's prayers!

It's an exciting but tiring time... 

Today

Lampadas are lit.
Small icon for the fast of Holy Dormition that we are in.

Mr. Husband taught me a new way
to make corn on the cob in a hurry.
Take the pre-shucked still husked corn
(not cut in half or anything that would keep
the husk from being broken),
soak it with running water from kitchen sink
microwave as such for 3 minutes.
Steamed corn in 3 minutes.
Careful as it will be hot.
Cool slightly, shuck the still hot corn and
enjoy.

We are enjoying fruit salad.
I need to get more fruit for a basket for the
Feast of Transfiguration that is
DV this Monday.

Cleo is sitting by my chair as I type.

Mr. Husband remembered how
some pray special prayers during this fast.
I found the following here:
"Many churches and monasteries in the Russian tradition will perform the Lenten services on at least the first day of the Dormition Fast. During the Fast, either the Great Paraklesis (Supplicatory Canon) or the Small Paraklesis are celebrated every evening except Saturday evening and the Eves of the Transfiguration and the Dormition.^[1]"
 

We are constantly seeking to find ways
to build a life together that
involves prayer, the fasts and feasts and living our lives
rightly...
*
I am reading more of Dave Ramsey's book
which I still struggle with on terms of the goal of being rich
rather than the goal of seeking Christ's kingdom and
using what we have for this purpose
but or on the other hand
I can see how this book is really
important for many people...
to know how to do budgets, his encouragement to not give
into peer pressure when buying things and
learning to wait and not have instant
gratification in terms of purchases
and basically not living a fake life,
i.e. one that makes one appear to be what they are not.
Our world here in North America is crazy that way and
I can see how this book is important.
I, being decidedly North American, like how he talks about
baby steps and having a plan.
*
It's one thing Mr. Husband and I both like:
plans, goals and communication towards them.
*
We are hoping to get Elder Paisos' book on family soon
as we want to keep reading things on
marriage and family.
We have a good young marriage of almost one year
and we want to keep working on things so that
our marriage will grow into many years,
God-willing...
*
And so it goes, on day three of the beautiful short fast
of Holy Dormition.