Here's my Cleo Cat.
She decided that it was okay to sit on top of my black bag and sweater.
She has been a bit traumatized by my change in routine;
job loss means no 9-5 job with lunch at home.
Poor Cute Cat.
Well. This morning was sunny;
I bought some used books.
A Canadian Lit Anthology, fiction, a book on English Literature.
Used part of my meager grocery money;
Chaucer described the scholar in his Canterbury Tales
as one who would rather buy books
than eat.
Don't worry though. I am eating.
I have food in the freezer and money to buy bread, milk and eggs.
I am in book 10 of Paradise Lost now.
This reading has been helpful to me.
This transition time is emotionally draining
and I have some grief issues I am crying out
at times.
I did not learn the healing power of tears until I was nearly thirty.
The Orthodox Church changes many things in a person's life.
For me one of these changes included this particular healing.
Not that I believe myself to be fully healed
in terms of processing grief.
But I believe at least that I am a little more healed.
One of the things in Paradise Lost that strikes me is
how the devil refuses to love.
He is clearly committed to malicious hatred of God
to the point that Milton says often that Satan
has hell in his heart.
I think this particular observation of Milton is worth great thought.
A prayer for Saturday in one of my Orthodox Prayer Books includes
asking God to
"Illumine the dark hell of my heart,
driving off the blackness of my sins,
and raise my mind to heaven so that I may delight in Your face."
Theologically Milton misunderstood many things, however,
he can give much food for thought
and prayer.
