Ah, the ups and downs of life. Today was the church picnic. I ended up having more pain + loud music outside + insomnia that did not let up till nearly 5 AM so I stayed home. I did not know how I would do in the car given all of that. So I watched/listened to the service from HERE at the MI Monastery that I love and that was a real blessing!
I ended up taking a walk while talking to Mr Husband on my cell phone via headphones and he was driving home (he was needed at both church and the picnic, I sent him off this morning urging him to have a good time!) .... we met up about a mile from home and I jumped in the car so happy to see him and (of course I had not really jumped you understand) within a minute of being in the car, my foot started cramping up and then I had problems the rest of the night. So it is very possible that it is good that I did not try the long car ride etc today.
So I saw the older lady friend who is so beloved to me yesterday with Mr Husband and she is really suffering and is now having a hard time communicating. It was very painful to see and I can tell that I am really sad about it, both to see her suffering and to know that she may be in her last weeks. Which, with her amount of suffering, would very possibly be a blessing to be released from it. So grief is hard and I know two things now. 1. you have to feel and go through it (grief) 2. you don't want to get mired in it.
But boy oh boy I need to be careful now, as this is a really hard thing.
So I re-read Amberwell (book quoted above) today, Mr Husband gave it to me yesterday for my name's day! (St Elizabeth the Mother of St John the Baptist is my name's Saint). I also watched an OK movie. This morning I cleaned the little saucers under the lampadas (oil lamps) and cut some plastic to put on top of the shelf that the lampadas are on so that the wood can be better protected. So I cleaned everything and lit all the lampadas while listening to the service. That was really nice and the high light of my day I think! Or one of them anyway!
Amberwell is a lovely story by DE Stevenson. I was glad to revisit it.
I pray that God will bless and encourage you in anything you are facing right now!
4 comments:
car rides are the worst for back issues, and I do hope you are pain free soon!
Good Morning Elizabeth, Yes, life is certainly filled with ups and downs. When I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with life's challenges I like to listen to Brother David Steidl-Rast's "A Good Day" I love his quote, 'It's not happiness that makes you grateful, it's gratefulness that makes you happy." I pray your body will continue to heal and that you will be able to spend some time with your dear friend as she is moving from this world into the next. May the Lord have mercy.
Grief is indeed very hard. Be extra gentle with yourself. I hope you feel better (physically) very soon.
Hope you're feeling better!
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