A Sunny Day full of many things....

Photo above from the 9 day panahyda for 

Mr. Husband's godson.

*

So I've been writing how the grief

has opened up other things;

sometimes when you are in sudden grief,

a lot of other things become clear

and gives the motifvation to work through them

and figure it out.

Sometimes to do this I need help;

I am not afraid to ask for what I need or to work to get it.

So I am seeing an older Catholic woman who has

counselled people in berevament situations,

my first meeting was today.

It went well though it was really just a 

'here I am, here's the deal and where do we go from here' 

first meeting.

But it went well and I have more lined up with her

to help me do the grief work;

it's for me working through years of this

that I did not have a chance to do before,

as I alluded to.

I worry at times that I will overwhelm 

someone by writing about grief,

but I also think it is really important to write about.

*

I don't read this blog all the time now,

but Amy Welborn's blog documents

the sudden loss of her husband and 

somewhere along the way she mentiones going

to a person to work out the grief with.

*

I am thinking it may be worth getting her book on this sudden loss.

*

So of course I am not the grieving widow

but I am a grieving friend

and sometimes a shock means some rocks get loose

and one needs to look at what is left when

the rocks are gone

and re-figure things out.

*

I am kind of still in a 

'where am I now' state, is best I can explain it.

One of my closet friends in NJ just lost her husband;

my church munchkin his father.

I am remembering a woman who died 20 years ago

and who I never grieved properly.

All I know is now is the time.

*

For me grieving is also showing love for the person

who is gone and I am really excited for this;

the sadness of course is hard to bear

but when you love, it is much easier.

*

And in other ways I am re-figuring things out

that are a bit more nebolous but basically is a need

to understand my roles in my life since I got married

and so many of my relationships have changed.

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I will tell you one thing though:

I refuse to be ashamed to say I am getting help by talking to someone.

Our culture seems so much about only

being happy or at least don't mention it when you are not,

but that just does not work.

Perhaps you noticed.

*

Anyway, some beautiful things up next and 

a new old beautiful One that I failed to see

the full meaning and profundity of...

until today that is...

*

Look: cute dress!!! 

 My new dress, DV to be worn at a wedding I am going to later

this summer. 

It's great colours and I love the drape of it.

I've not yet lived through an April at our new home and

it was so neat to see flowering trees near by...

poor Mr. Husband's allergies are raging though, so 

he is not as happy to see them all...

I am re-reading this book by Jerry Sittser on loss and

it is really good to revisit. 

Ok, my so NOT organic weakness.

A Snickers Ice Cream Bar. 

:)

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And here's the profoundity.

I walked to the beautiful weathered Catholic statue

of the Mother of God and I saw what looked like a 

red  ball that someone put by her feet and then I looked closer and saw...

It is the promise in Genesis come true:

 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; 

it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

(Genesis 3:15)

The Mother of God bore Christ and

by this the serpent was put down forever,

he is crushed.

*

It was just so good to remember,

when seeing so much evil and tragdgy in the world,

evil does not win and it's head is crushed.

*

And that was the profundity that today gave me.

I am so thankful.