What we must do

What we must do is very hard
and very easy.
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Come to Christ.
Repent.
Beg for Christ's help,
ask that He dwell in us more
than our self-absorbed selves.
It is easy and it is hard.
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The victory is Christ's
and we are weak
and in great need of Him.
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I am thinking about this a lot
as I seek to recover.
The fatigue has kept me sleeping or sitting
on the couch...
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I spoke to my sister this morning.
She had mono years ago
and reminded me to rest and that
in rest I will recover sooner...
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Rest:
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This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
    in quietness and trust is your strength,
    but you would have none of it."
Isaiah 30:15 (NIV).
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My spiritual father often would talk
about the gentleness of Christ
and that He would ask the blind, the sick,
what they wanted
before healing them.
That we have to want to be healed.
That we have to open our hearts.
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How we want this and yet I find
at least how I often fight it,
if you know what I mean.
Either trying to do get the job done
on my own strength
or getting tangled in a web of distractions
and wrong thinking.

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Oh to have the peace of Christ in our
hearts for then we can
be at rest
truly we can only be at rest with Christ.
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Meanwhile, I am knitting...
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Knitting:
So I ran out of yarn for my first dish cloth
when I was trying to bind it off.
Could not get more than 1/6 of way done.
There were many mistakes in it.
My first try.

So I did something that was
really hard for me to do.
I ripped it all out.
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I have ordered more yarn and needles;
it is shipped and I hope will come by the weekend.
Meanwhile I don't have as much yarn to work with.
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But I have some ideas for a small blanket
and I am going to use the newly re-wrapped
ball of blue yarn
to experiment with.
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I am very tired and can't focus on
learning patterns
so I must deal with what I can do
and learn as I go.

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Knitting realization:

I wrote this (about the above scarf) yesterday on the FB
that I can't seem to fully stay away from...
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So... it's pretty strange, this too tired to bake bread...
so I am knitting; 
I am just beginning and 
I was doing pretty good on a simple knit stitch scarf
 but then it got funny and so I ripped it down 
until it was at a good place again and 
found strange amounts of yarn of no use of all 
that I will keep as scraps 
and meanwhile have a good ball of yarn to keep going with 
(first one all used up). 
Somehow this seems parallel often to one's journey
 to Christ through repentance
 - starting over, getting rid of needless junk
 and searching for the way to continue.

Light candles.
Pray.

Look for God and His Mercy.

 

He loves us,
we are sinners.
Christ came born as a weak baby
crucified as a thief
killed death
and offering us His life and His Resurrection.
May God help us enter into His Life.