reflections on times of recovery

{I drew this while we were sick last week}

When Mr. Husband and I were ill last week,

I realized how quickly things change

and how in one fell swoop

we were sick and, by being sick,

incredibly weakened.

*

I had forgotten the immediacy of illness,

how it becomes the closest thing to you,

how, when really ill, you don't have strength to be 

what you thought you could be for others.

*

That Wednesday was going to be a busy day but good,

seeing my Ottawa priest in morning,

lunch with my godson and his family,

an afternoon appointment with my Ottawa naturopath 

about an allergic reaction I had been having

(it was the niacin supplement I was taking!)

and dinner with my godson's family.

*

We did see the naturopath,

where one of us was violently ill and I can't 

begin to tell you the kindness demonstrated in that office,

including letting us rest in an empty room as

we had not strength to drive...

and the kindness by many others...

*

My godson really wanted to see us; 

but we were so sick... he then wanted to 

skype with me 'right now'... his older brother

cried when he realized he was not going to see us,

the oldest was sad also...

*

But there was nothing I could do;

we were sick all day and all night... 

taking turns it seemed...

*

Between that and reading Joy's thoughtful posts

on rest/learning to not expect more than one can do/learning

to give time to oneself and one's family to recover

are making me slow down a bit,

be thankful, focus on loving, accepting

the need to do things even like

breaking the fast,

like I wrote earlier,

we had chicken soup and without that

 (and prayers of course of others)

we would not of made it home.
*
This is perhaps the hardest part of it all,
perhaps because I fear to be misunderstood...
but I can see that when one gets severely sick and
does not have much strength left
(when we were still in Montreal,
there were mornings that the only reason
I had strength to get out of bed at all
was by drinking Gatorade, which has a good dose of sugar)...
one's fast really becomes the illness...
*
I was thankful to read at my friend's house a bit of
St. Barsanuphius and John about this very fact,
of illness being the fast...

*

Sickness that makes one quickly lose 

nutrients, electrolytes and well, anything

one eats or drinks,

is something that takes time to recover from.

*

Realizing and accepting this,

it brings peace...
and the need for steadiness,
working towards patience...