When things are difficult, I listen to this

 

Be kind, for everyone you meet

is fighting a hard battle.

*

I have often written here of struggles in my life.

But there are some that just cannot be written but

are just as real.

*

Grief and facing reality can be hard.

*

Years ago when I was working in the corporate world,

I would often listen to Ancient Faith Radio.

That Lent of 2009 I was working in my small

library that I was in charge of.

Things were going badly and before that Lent was over,

my job was also over;

I can see God's mercy in all of it;

later I read about toxic job environments; for reasons

outside of the control of those I worked with and for,

the job I was in was just that: toxic.

*

So things were in shambles on so many levels

back then; everything I was working towards was

crumbling ~ my job, a friendship I had valued,

some people were sick with illnesses that at the time

were rocking my world into shards.

*

It was very difficult.

But in the midst of that trying time,

I remember while I was shelving some books,

I listened to this song by

the Boston Byzantine Choir.

*

I wrote about hearing this song later that year,

but it is worth repeating:

the grief of the sisters of their brother Lazarus

and the sense of struggle towards actual

hope, actual Resurrection,

it all was heard suddenly as I 

was shelving the books,

listening to this song

and the joy found in it...

*

It says it all to me:

it is the struggle to Rejoice 

in the midst of great tragedy, 

in midst of broken lives, of facing sickness, death.

*

When things are difficult,

I listen to this and am helped.