Comfort in the midst of our days

Sometimes I feel a great need to read a book

that is one of true comfort;

often I find these books,

or the exact one I am looking for,

I do not have or does not exist.

Then I do what seems to be the next best thing.

I search and look and find

and then I write or copy

and make my own book of solace in times of trial.

It is easy to look at the waves of our lives.

It is easy to feel like we are drowning

like St. Peter walking on the water towards Christ

Help me! I am drowning!

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A few weeks ago,

when was struggling with insomnia and many interviews,

I read these verses...

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Hosea 11 verses 1-11
“When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son.
2 But the more they were called,
the more they went away from me.
They sacrificed to the Baals
and they burned incense to images.
3 It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize
it was I who healed them.
4 I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts
a little child to the cheek,
and I bent down to feed them.

5 “Will they not return to Egypt
and will not Assyria rule over them
because they refuse to repent?
6 A sword will flash in their cities;
it will devour their false prophets
and put an end to their plans.
7 My people are determined to turn from me.
Even though they call me God Most High,
I will by no means exalt them.

8 “How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboyim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
9 I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I devastate Ephraim again.
For I am God, and not a man—
the Holy One among you.
I will not come against their cities.
10 They will follow the LORD;
he will roar like a lion.
When he roars,
his children will come trembling from the west.
11 They will come from Egypt,
trembling like sparrows,
from Assyria, fluttering like doves.
I will settle them in their homes,”
declares the LORD.

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I find these verses of great comfort
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God as Father...

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Deuteronomy 32:7,11-14

7 Remember the days of old;
consider the generations long past....
10 In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
11 like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them aloft.
12 The LORD alone led him;
no foreign god was with him.
13 He made him ride on the heights of the land
and fed him with the fruit of the fields.
He nourished him with honey from the rock,
and with oil from the flinty crag,
14 with curds and milk from herd and flock
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I remember the first time I read the verses in the beginning of the book of Isaiah,how the poetry of this book was so deep that I even dreamed it...
I remember the sun coming in the window,
sitting on my bed, leaning against the wall,
reading these words and feeling a deep tenderness...
Isaiah 1:5 and 6:
5 Why should you be beaten anymore?
Why do you persist in rebellion?
Your whole head is injured,
your whole heart afflicted.
6 From the sole of your foot to the top of your head
there is no soundness—
only wounds and welts
and open sores,
not cleansed or bandaged
or soothed with olive oil.

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I so often do not understand the Lord's words
that repentance has everything to do with healing.
Christ calls us with the deep love of a Father...
even with the words of a Mother... "as a hen gathers her chicks"
and I am too busy running away from the waves that I think will drown me
to understand His words...

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate."

Matthew 23: 37-38

and I fail to understand how Christ is calling me to be healed
to trust Him, to look to Him and to Him alone...