Beginning of day 3 (without Cleo)

Grief is a funny thing; one minute I will be thinking of Cleo but fine and just minutes later, I look at a picture of her (for example) and teeter on tears immediately as a wave of sadness comes.  I mentioned that I broke the bowl that I had for Cleo of ice cream after she died? that it slipped out of my hand? Mr Husband had rinsed it out at the sink in the vet room and I was about to dry it with a kleenex when it slipped out of my hand. I had a bunch of them; there are 4 left now; I used them for Cleo; I found them at the side of the road in Ottawa just down the street from my apartment.  I miss her so much.

I am so glad that I knew she was dying; I was so afraid I would have to put her to sleep when she was still functioning; she really declined so fast.  The relief I feel in this grows. 

I am also so so glad I was able to bury her and shroud her in my vintage (at least 1980s?) pink towel, my favourite one; that I had for many years, that was in my Mom's linen closet. 

When my Husband picked up the pieces of the broken little bowl just minutes after Cleo died, he gave it to one of the vet techs took it for us.  The sound of it being thrown into the garbage was so loud and final.  Horrible.  I am so glad we did not leave her body with them, as kind as they were to us.  I am so glad that I was able to care for her sweet furry beautiful body and seal it with that pink towel so it would not get dirt on it but also the towel was thin enough that it will disintegrate well with her body. 

My husband reminded me of what my Ottawa Ukrainian other would say when a glass would break: for happiness. 

Oh Cleo, how I miss you.

This is a picture from 2011, so classic Cleo when she was much younger. 

This picture is in this post and it is so sweet.  I will post the parts about Cleo below.

Here's a picture from yesterday;

Cleo does not like it when I leave her for the balcony [...]

..... The other day I forgot to let her lick my cereal bowl

so I made an impromptu mistake :)

Let her have milk in her little bowl.

Yeah, so guess who looked at my empty bowl recently

with disdain,

waiting milk in her bowl!

Guess who didn't get milk despite the wailing meows.

I tell you the amount attention that cat gets... [...]

1. Did you know that Cleo was not mine as a kitten?

Nope, she was a dear friend (hi friend!) of mine's

who had to give her to me due to allergies.

2. Cleo when she first lived with me hid under my gold chair

that first full day, after moving homes and countries

(she like me is a native Michigan dweller)

until I called my friend and Cleo heard her on speaker phone

and then came out from under the chair.

For the next months she would often hide until

I would sing to her, using her name

cleo, cleo how i love you, cleo cleo yes it's true

cleo cleo cleo i love you..

That was some years ago now... [....]

Anyway,

there's the story of things you probably did not know about me

and my beloved Cleo Cat too!

whole post of this is here.