Healing takes time

So I realized recently that I'm basically struggling with trauma. And right now i'm in a kind of acute grieving stage. 

I am getting help for it and am researching to understand more slowly. 

I just didn't realize that the great illness I had was to the level of trauma. 

This is a lot of a message I sent to my friend today.... What you see below this that is.  I understand that I will not always be this hurt. But that sometimes you have to go through the hurt to heal.

And I know that God in His gentleness will help me heal.

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These are just pictures showing you how I took care of myself today. I understand that I am in a profound grieving experience. Even writing this I started crying. Anyway it's totally o k it's gonna be o k cause God loves me. Anyway, I got some new journals. Because someday I want to use them for my writing research, for new research. They're my way of saying that my heart won't always be broken. That I still have worth. That God loves me. Also I made sure I had food today. I have leftovers for saturday from both meals. I bought myself one yummy treat of chocolate covered almonds. And I bought two bottles of kombucha. I got five thousand steps in. And my eyes are okay. I went to my retina specialist today.