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Monday, June 05, 2023

beauty and struggle


I am struggling a bit more than normal I think. 

I was so sick for the first 3 months of this year. 

I was remembering the last weekend my Mom was here.  My memory was back.  I was still on prednisone.  Twice I got so chilled that I was shaking uncontrollably for being so cold.  It was physically exhausting.  Once was on the way home. I just kept thinking about the homeless who are cold and distracted myself. 

My Mom and Husband helped. I slept with layers of cloths, 4 water bottles and many blankets.   Drank hot tea.  It was like the cold was deep inside me and my whole body was shaking. 

I am so grateful for my Husband. 

He took good care of me. 

It was traumatic for him too.  Sometimes I didn't know who he even was. 

I scared my friends and family.  It was really difficult. 

Well. I have been having a hard time sleeping.  I think I am still in a lot of grief in ways.  I have had a lot of loss.  

There are good things of course abundantly.   

May God have mercy on us 🙏 


4 comments:

  1. After being so sick for those weeks it takes a while to get back your strength. Not sleeping well makes it hard I'm sure. Your husband sounds like a gem; I'm glad he takes good care of you.

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  2. Sometimes trauma can overshadow life's good things. You're doing a fabulous job of giving all your blessings, particularly your patient and loving husband, the spotlight!

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  3. Definitely you have suffered a loss, when there are days and weeks that you have no memory of. The grief would be fatiguing. Healing takes time...

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  4. Every body is different, I know, but there are some things I always have before going to bed, which help me to sleep. I take Vitamin D at night, and it helps. Also, B complex, and I just have a spoonful or two of nutritional yeast, which is absorbed quickly. I've got mild asthma and I can sleep better when my lungs are relaxed, so I take some guaifenesin, which puts moisture in the body. (with lots of water. and yes, I do get up in the night to the bathroom sometimes) Also, I have herb tea with lavender in it. All those things help me to fall asleep. So, I would say, take your D at night, and some quieting herbal tea. And, if I get up in the night, I may take another spoonful of yeast and sip of tea. There is a reason why you're having problems with sleep, Elizabeth, and your doctors don't seem to have the answer. Vitamin B is for stress! It feeds the nerves and lavender calms them (unless you're allergic to lavender) I hope you can figure out something like this for yourself! xo

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