First Friday of Great Lent 2022

Beautiful presanctified liturgy tonight. 

My brain has been spinning like crazy. My Writing Project is deepening. Words are coming up in whole paragraphs in my brain.  So much clicked recently from my first year of writing and reading that it's like I can't get it down fast enough. It's exciting, exhilarating, and exhausting. 

I also know that I am in some pretty deep grief and it's like I am a bouncy ball not of highs and lows as much as joy, excitement & conversely great grief and with the grief being like "all hands on deck" .... as I trying to catch 5 juggling balls that are falling down simultaneously. 

Luckily I also realize this. So I am accepting it all. I am REALLY glad to have my Writing Project. But even my writing project has a deep jarring grief in it. 

In other words LIFE. As it is right now. 

Because I know this I am also taking things slow in terms of social media and even blogging. It's so intense that I need a lot of "radio silence" and inside I have the ending of THIS playing in my mind and I mean LITERALLY I was listening to it to try to deal with my grief and insomnia earlier in the week and I can hear it in my mind as an "ear worm"....

I have had some huge insomnia. 

I am also super thankful. And aware that I need to be careful. Rest (ha! brain on overdrive is laughing at the very idea sadly but I will get there), food, hydration.  And  I am reading a DE Stevenson book. And I ordered 2 fun books used to read. 

It may be Great Lent and I am reading Lenten things. But if you pull an arrow too tight, the bow will break.  

And I am on such a high octane wave in my life right now that I very much see the need to be careful. A lightbulb that burns too brightly, in my experience, is often close to burning out, literally speaking. 

And that is all I can say at present. That and God is here in it. 

Bless you all! God save us!