44+1 day

This is my other new tray (yes, the tray the cinnamon rolls were on is the other!).

Can you believe that they were at Marshalls for $7.99 (this one above) and the other was only

$6.99?! 15 dollars before tax! and from Portugal.  

Those are like upscale consignment store prices!  

Some gifts that I was given!

This tea too...we had it this morning for Mr Husband's names day.

(The day his Patron Saint is celebrated).

This is the $6.99 tray.  I am still amazed at the good price.

We had the last of the cinnamon rolls for breakfast!

I put them on parchment paper and lightly toasted them so they were 

nice and warm but not over baked!

Really fun.  When I was a teen my Mom used to take us to a place

called Mom's Cinnamon rolls and we would get big ones and 

I would get a cherry coke to drink!  Now I never drink any sort of 

pop/soda.  If it's fizzy it's kombucha! LOL :)

I finally got Christmas cards done and a few small gifts sent...

I ended up having pretty bad insomnia last night

so was super tired and used paper plates again today for lunch and dinner! 

I had a good birthday as you know, but parts were hard too.

Sometimes I struggle with feelings of guilt for being so blessed.

Like when I was cabbing in and the driver was bringing me to TJ Maxx

(also where Marshalls is) I told him (we were talking) that I hoped to find some

good sales and he said he did not buy any Christmas gifts for his family this year

because it is a different kind of year (pandemic :( ...) and then I felt a bit more

bad, as if I had said something wrong, even though it was my birthday and

I was happy going into NYC, which is rare now days (though I got to do so more than 

I had hoped for...during this pandemic)... and I had read about a homeless person

working at a store similar to TJ Maxx and for the first time I realized that

the people who are at the checkout counters in NYC may have complicated

lives of poverty or scarcity.   While I had a few months of poverty years ago,

when I did not know how to pay rent, and it was not easy always having contracts,

not really knowing how to pay for things a few months out, other than those 

2 or so months of 'I don't have money to pay rent' over 10 years ago, 

I always had enough and often was able to buy something I wanted rather than

just what was absolutely essential (like food). 

***

And then there was the whole pandemic part of it;

I find I can't think too much on the fact that so many are deeply suffering;

I can't take on the suffering of the entire world; or even lots of people.

My Husband and I do what we can and not what we can't.

But it's hard to know that things are so bad; seeing restaurants struggling;

I am hearing of so many people getting sick right now with the dread virus

and I miss seeing my family at Christmas.

It's hard to feel sad and guilty for feeling sad when you know so many have it 

so SO MUCH worse.  

Yet we all DO feel sad.  We miss what we used to call our normal life.

Every time I return from a fun time in NYC, like yesterday,

I feel sad.  Like when will I get to be in NYC again on my own

for a fun day out? Not sure. 

***

That said, I am really super grateful that I was able to go to NYC

yesterday on my birthday.  That I was able to got to Tea and Sympathy again

and do my part to help them; I really hope they make it with this pandemic going on.

***

And my friend Photini may be gone for a bit.  

And she may leave for even longer later on...

so many friends have left, some because of the pandemic...

others I want to become better friends with, it's hard

because I can't have them over, because of the pandemic...

***

Well, it felt good to just write about the hard things.

It helps me by not only 'getting it out' but somehow to have 

courage again.  To see how blessed I am in the midst of all of this. 

***

To keep trying to be as creative as I can be.

To keep loving others.

Tomorrow DV I will be baking more for Christmas goodies.

I hope to have 2 more days of baking if I am lucky.

But I don't have more than that as I have to get all the baking 

organized and bagged and all gifts wrapped and finished.

I have a lot to do but I am so glad that I get to do it.

Christmas is January 7th and I need to be all done and wrapped up,

literally, by January 5th.  

***

I hope you, my blog friends and readers, are doing OK.

I pray that you have moments of peace; drops of comfort.

Even if small.  Even if you have to look for them.

I pray that God has mercy on us and saves us!