Friday: Surprising Relief, as if being released from a prison...

I had done everything I could to get ready for this appointment

and even to ready myself...

outfit, haircut, packed lots of food, tea, kombucha, 

my notebook with questions, my journal, my Psalter, other books.

The train rides went well,

my friend Juliana picked me up from the train center and took me to the 

medical centre, pointing things out so I could be better oriented.

That was a really blessing! 

And I went in with a new small icon of the Mother of God that she gave me,

pendant sized, from St Nectarios'... and I kept thinking of this as I made my way up 

to the ophthalmology floor. 

I got signed in, settled in, eyes dilated...

I had time so I went down and got a bowl of soup and a hot

cup of chair tea and ate it when I returned...

then various imaging of my eyes 

(aren't those pictures of my eyes cool? 

 (the pictures are of the retina specifically, the outside of it,

I was told))

and had some tests and more imaging ....

and then I finally met with the doctor, about 4 hours or more later.

And then a bell sounded in my life that was so sweet

with relief.... as I wrote earlier on social media:

The retina specialist in Philly, upon doing various tests and pictures of my eyes, 

did NOT feel that I have a genetic retina disease 

but that myopia is the cause of the tests not being perfect. 

We are doing genetic testing (which has to go through insurance)

 to be sure that something was not missed that would be serious. 

But overall, I am feeling a LOT of relief. 

While it is possible that the myopic level will go to myopic degeneration

 that will worsen in time and cause serious vision problems,

 it's not a 'for sure thing' like the 2 diseases would have been.

I understand from the doctor that the level of myopic I have at present

is hard to predict what exactly it will do and he advised some

simple things to help ... 

***

My impression of this office was that the workers were all happy,

worked well as a team and were really considerate. 

In NYC most of them seem weary, worn and not fully present to you,

so this was a noticeable and rather surprising difference... 

***

So I may not know genetic stuff to be 'extra sure' for at least 4 months.

But I felt so relieved that it's like I can finally sink onto a couch

and feel my body relaxing from it's tense 

'we are about to run a marathon' pose...

though I do realize that some of myself is still tensed,

hard not to be with the struggles with the intense fear I have been having

on and off.  But I am thinking of how to keep and nurture peace

within myself, which I find is ONLY found in Christ... 

***

The train ride back was good... I had fallen asleep on the way there

and almost missed my stop (and then the one door

did not open, later on the way back I heard them say

that the 'quiet cars' one had to go towards the exit door

so I think I made a mistake but I was scared for a minute that I would not get out)

I had to read to keep myself awake on the ride back...

then, once back, and Mr Husband had called me to say it was a 

fish day for St Elias (Elijah) and so he took me out so I could have a 

bowl of fish chowder that was just a fully perfect bowl of soup.

I was not eating it until about 8 PM so I was more than ready!

***

Then prayers, Cleo had her meds, she is still laying in front of the couch,

like the above picture... glad to have me back home...

Mr Husband (who worked from home today

and listened to the conversation with my new doctor 

so that I did not have to recount everything to him later) was glad to have 

me back home as well... 

***

Meanwhile, I can tell that I am really exhausted and my eyes,

they are tired too.  While I am reassured on many levels,

my eye sight and eyes still need a lot of TLC.

So goodnight and THANK YOU all for your prayers.

I could not have done this day without them.