Mr Husband and I took Cleo to the vet today.
I am really unsure of what to think, or rather what to do.
I will tell you that Cleo lost almost a pound since last visit.
She had lost weight before and regained, 3 years ago.
This time, the vet thinks she, being more jaundiced than ever,
is in the last weeks of her life.
Her hiding in the laundry room one of the many signs.
So why is Cleo sleeping nearer to us/staying closer to me since
we came home from the vet? She weights .2 more ounces since we gave her
a bit more treats.
Yet it is undeniable. Look how awful she looks when being weighed.
She had lost weight. She IS more jaundiced. I can feel her spine now :(
The vet thinks she will be feeling miserable if she loses another .5 lb/1.b.
She is declining.
So here is what I am processing, what Mr Husband wisely told me I need
to come to an answer myself and he is here to listen and support me.
We are going back to the vet September 11th in the late afternoon.
It could be that we say goodbye to Cleo that day.
That is what I need to figure out.
Is it time to let Cleo go?
This deadline is important because I will be away for a bit in later September,
with some family things.
The vet assured me that if I am gone and Cleo declines rapidly and
I am not with her when she dies, I could regret it for years.
I am not with her when she dies, I could regret it for years.
I can see that.
My Husband says, give it a week. We will watch Cleo carefully,
weigh her daily and see how she is doing.
She has perked up a lot these last 2 days. Is this the
rally before death? "Terminal lucidity" is the term, apparently.
I don't expect (or want direct 'yes you should do that' answers) answers
but I would ask your prayers and if you have stories of your own pet's
decline and death, that could be helpful for me.
As I speak, I can hear Cleo eating... that long familiar sound of her dropping
the dry kibble on the ground and then eating it there...
I'm so sorry about Cleo's decline! I will pray for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what you are going through and will pray for a decision that brings you peace! It is always so hard.
ReplyDeleteWhen my dog was very old (14) he wasn't able to pee because bladder stones had blocked his urethra. The vet told us he could flush them out and perform an expensive surgery to remove the bladder stones that hadn't descended, but that at his age he would mostly likely develop more and have the same thing happen again ... so rather than go into debt to have a surgery that would potentially only extend his life for a month or two, we opted to put him to sleep.
It was heartrending, because we hadn't even gone to the vet expecting to lose him. I still remember his death very vividly. While it was good to be there, it was also traumatic, and I do almost wish he had died in his sleep instead ... but I would have been very devastated had he died while I was away.
G-J: thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteRosemary: oh that would have been so hard!!! Yes, I hear you, how difficult... and yes, I can see how dying in his sleep may have been better but how much worse it would have been to be gone... I am thinking about how Cleo may find my absence super hard, esp since she is so sick and that I may have to say goodbye to her... hard...but I am praying and I know God will help us in this!
Dear Elizabeth! I'm so sorry Cleo is decling... and so sad how ypur heart must be breaking over this. Our fur-friends are our family, and it's so hard when thye become sick, or that we must decide to help them to the end. Our Charlie made it to the ripe age of 16 before intestinal cancer entered the picture. He was probably already in decline before the more outward signs became more visible. Cat can be tricky creatures in that they they go quiet, they hide, and can hide how they feel. Weight gain is good, but like with humans, wight can fluctuate, so is maybe not always the best outward sig that everything inside is OK... sometimes behavior starts saying more. It was one of the hardest, saddest days of my life when we had to let Charlie go! But we didn't want him to suffer, and the cancer would have made him suffer. It is never an easy choice. I'm sooo horribly sad you have to go through this, and are faced with such choices. You husband has some good wisdom--take a few days, pray much, be with Cleo, see how the days go, pray more... God is good and will help you all the way! Thinking od you, my friend... GOD BLESS YOU! ((LOVE & HUGS))
ReplyDeleteOh Elizabeth :-(
ReplyDeleteThe very rapid weight loss over the last few months and the progressive jaundice would suggest that things are indeed deteriorating quite dramatically.
For a cat not to be meticulously grooming herself is unusual behaviour and would seem to indicate she does not feel well in herself at present.
Is Cleo's liver enlarged, did the vet say? If so, that could be causing her discomfort which would in turn affect her behaviour.
You know her best, you know what is normal behaviour for her, whether she is struggling, and whether she will be significantly distressed by your necessary absence in September..... the last kindness we can do for our beloved pets is to be with them when they pass away, whether naturally or at the vet's hands due to significant and untreatable illness.
Hugs and prayers, dear friend, may God grant you guidance, wisdom and peace with whatever decision you make for your darling Cleo. xxxxx
So sorry to hear that Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteI went through a similar decision some years ago with my lovely tabby of 18 years. I asked the vet to come to the house, and I held her as he administered the injection. She just fell asleep.
I do understand how hard it is, praying for you. xx
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ReplyDeleteI don't know what better to say than to link you to my memorial post for my Dixie Rose. Putting our pets' needs first can be terribly difficult, but it's always the most loving thing to do.
ReplyDeleteLast year I had my 16 year old cat put to sleep. It was something I should have done sooner but couldn't bring myself to do. The grief lasted a long time but I was grateful that Tiger wasn't suffering any longer. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteOh, what an awful thing to have to decide, Elizabeth. When I look at our Dolly I wonder, because the fact is that neither of us (my brother and me) have the desire to deliberately tell someone to kill our pet. So we have always let them go naturally. When Mr. Kibble was here a few weeks ago, he was dying for four hours, quietly failing. We prayed for him the whole time. For us, it would have to be an awful situation for us to put them to sleep. I feel that it's too easy for us to make that decision, and that if we weren't so willing to end our pets' lives, it would be harder for our society to be promoting it for humans. But I know that most people wouldn't agree with me. I always relied on St. Joseph to help with Mr. K., and he really did. Poor Cleo.
ReplyDeleteAre you able to postpone your trip?
Thank you Tracy!!! Yes to all you said...
ReplyDeleteElizabeth @ Garden Window - thank you so much!!!
ElizabethD - yes, it is hard... and I appreciate your story...
Shoreacres - thank you so much. a beautiful post, I appreciated re-reading it!
Nancy - I hear you. Loud and Clear.
Lisa - Yes, it will be awful if we have to put Cleo to sleep - but it would be worse I am thinking to leave her to die without me and sadly there is NO way of postponing my trip and I have a lot of people to visit, including my Grandma and my Great Aunt and others that are officially in the elderly category who one never knows when the visit may be one's last with them... I am just trusting God that He knows everything. I would appreciate knowing how you knew Mr Kibble was dying. What change lets you know? And I DO hear you very much about if we let our pets be put to sleep, what about the same for humans. I share your concern and fully appreciate it. Because we are not (unlike humans) going to put her in a hospital on pain meds or let her die without me, I may not have the choice... but God will help me face whatever it is and I pray that I am with Cleo when she does die... Thanks again for your thoughts
and thank you EACH one of you ... your comments, even if I don't write back as much as some, each comment means a great deal to me. Thank you!
Dear Elizabeth I feel for you. My Pumpkin, a beautiful 14 pound Norwegian Forest cat succumbed to her diabetes and she weighed 7 pounds. After being at the vet all day with an IV, we brought her home for one more night. The poor little thing couldn't take it anymore so the next morning my husband held her and hugged her as we drove to the vet and said our goodbyes to her. We both cried on the way home and for many months more. Her ashes are in an urn and will always be with us. She was only 7 years old. I still miss her but I've had Lilly now for over 12 years. My prayers are with you. 🙏
ReplyDeleteDear Elizabeth, I am so sorry it is your turn for this particular sorrow. It's really hard. I think perhaps you will not have to worry about the 11 September deadline - just enjoy these days with her all you can. We all hope to be spared that decision. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteIn accordance with the contrariness of cats, hiding on the one hand and extra cuddliness on the other are both signs that they are winding down - other than that, cats are often very good at hiding how they feel. It's very good that Cleo is still enjoying food and company - the important things, after all!