Saw our dear friend today, who is the Mother of our goddaughter...
My meal was labeled as follows:
Home Made Summer Fettucine:
Jersey Tomatoes, Corn, Green Peas, Spinach-Walnut Pesto, Parmesan Reggiano
and it was super wonderful.
As was the flourless chocolate torte with caramel sea-salt gelato
****
So, I have learned a bit in my day about how to deal with anxiety.
I struggle with it, as many do.
Last night I woke up with that feeling I have not felt in years.
I started doing what needed to be done immediately:
drink a bit of Holy Water, start praying, read Psalms, walk around a bit,
look at icons, think of other things (often this includes thinking about
how I would do something, either baking/cooking, drawing, about a tiny icon
I wish to have in a locket one day), read peaceful things, until I am not plagued with
intense feelings of anxiety.
Basically do everything I can to change direction within my thoughts
and calm my body.
I have only had one panic attack in my life,
years ago when I was under huge stress and someone suddenly
shattered the inner safety door at the entrance of my apartment building.
The next morning glass was still on the floor, with a metal frame with
glass still in it, of what was left of that door.
The good news is that I did NOT go into a panic attack!
And that I was able to sleep again too!
I find the Psalter (Psalms) super helpful in this...
***
Things are much better now...
I was able to talk to our dear friend about the unbloggable
and emailed another dear one who totally got where I was coming from,
and texted with my sister as well....
and with God's grace, the prayers in the church and at home,
a good talk with my Husband, checking in with my Dad, they made it to PA
and are doing well; rest of the trip here tomorrow!...
***
So I am at peace and ready for this week.
I also, thinking I was thinking ahead, went to the pantry with
the recipe up on my phone when I realized that I had to
marinade the pork tonight! Eekkk!!!
So I did and I really hope we all enjoy it!
***
I may try to go to PT tomorrow morning if they have room;
my foot and leg, ouch!
We will see.
***
My house, as the coffee table shows, is not fully picked up but
nor is it terrible. I got all I need:
a good novel, the Gospels, the Psalms, prayer book, L'Engle,
a cookbook, my phone headphones, prayers, Kleenex.
Pretty much covers it.
And tomorrow I get a bit more in groceries and we will be set!
Have a wonderful visit with your parents! I totally understand the heart wrenching panic. This too shall pass and it did for you.
ReplyDeleteWarmest wishes
Ann Marie
That panic and unreasonable anxiety is such a bear to deal with. I had times of extreme anxiety similar to PTSD after my first miscarriage. I had to learn to ground myself in reality (using all senses) to persuade myself that no one was dying or in imminent danger of death. It took that before my brain would calm down enough to even remember to say the Jesus prayer. I have always found the Psalms to be so helpful in times of grief, stress, or anxiety. They say what I am unable to put into words and remind me of what I tend to forget.
ReplyDeleteI know you will have a wonderful time with your parents there!