I went on a walk with a local friend on Monday...
was really nice...autumn leaves, discussing books...
Later on, after falling asleep, I found myself awake, troubled,
having a nightmare,
I am sure I drank some Holy Water and then
I went online to read something comforting;
well, I did not find that 'something' but then I started remembering the
conversation I had with my friend,
and how I acquired my first icon, with money from my 27th birthday...
the next thing I knew, I was writing a short essay...
and was calmed, comforted and slept the rest of the night through...
this essay published today at Conciliar Post...
***
I told my friend that I did not know what to do with her icon, once I bought it. I would sit in one of the old IKEA chairs; chairs my professor had lent me for my studio apartment, and just stare at this icon of St. Xenia. I put this icon on the mantle of the small black gas fireplace in my small studio apartment. Once, I remember, I was holding this icon and looking deeply at it when I suddenly felt like I was falling into the icon; that somehow the layers of the icon opened and there I was, falling. I did not know it then, but that was prayer.
***
blog for published writings.
It's so interesting that you had this experience with an icon of St. Xenia. She has always been a particular favorite of mine, and I had a pretty intense encounter with her through her icon at Platina about 10 years ago. It is difficult to explain, much less write about, but she remains close to my heart and mind as a result. It convinced me of the otherworldly realm, and of the spiritual battles that go on there.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I haven't been out in the Orthodox blog world for so long, but finally came back to visit, and am so glad to see you are still here, Cleo is still here, you are still enjoying tea parties, reading and walks, cooking for Mr. Husband.... What struck me about this post is that although you may think you found that icon of St. Xenia, I think it is more likely that she found you. She found me many years ago when I was just getting started in Orthodoxy, and she has been with me all the way.
ReplyDeleteI'll try to visit you again soon.
Maria
(Flowers of the Field)
Hi Maria,
ReplyDeleteNice to see you! I never forgot you! I still remember your comments to my blog when I was newly married. I know you were, last I remember, a bit overwhelmed by all the many things you were doing or trying to do... and had to cut back somewhere and so the blog was it. I get that.
But it's fun to see you now!
Yes, I agree about St. Xenia... she is wonderful! I wonder if somehow it is a mutual finding? Not really sure how that works, but well, she was calling and I guess, I answered! :)
St. Xenia is wonderful!