Reflecting on decade 3 - the 30s

So my beloved husband and I were born in 

different decades.

He's older and continues to tease me about this,

saying he married 'a young wife'...

God willing in late December, I will turn 39.

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Recently my beloved husband and I had reason to 

talk about the difference between being in one's 20s and 

being at the end of one's 30's.

Of course my husband's been through both already.

So, here's what I realized and it took me long enough to do so!

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My thirties were full, eventful and having a lot of learning.

One thing that took me a long time to really understand 

was how when I was younger I did not give much

thought, admittedly, to limits.

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Moral limits yes, I always held to those.

You know, no drinking to drunkenness, no drugs,

no under-the-sheet-naughtiness.

Thank God He persevered me from this,
I know enough that this was God's mercy to me
and not my own personal merit.

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So by this,
I mean though that I did not always understand, 

esp. as I married late and did not have the 

privilege and challenge of raising small children, 

that there are natural triaging of what a person can do.

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I've seen dear friends experience burn out many times;

I got mono and was unable to do much for half a year.
It look me a long time to realize that
I too can have burn out, it's not exclusive to those with
children! 

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I've realized more since I was married about this,
the need to triage, the fact of limitations...

my first priority now is not whoever needs the most help in my life, 

which was I think a bit more of my default in my single days.

My first priority, after God,

is two things at once, if that makes sense.

It's my husband and making sure that I have proper self-care

to be a good wife.

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There were times over the last three years where I had to learn

to reorient myself as I was burning out

and it was impacting my ability to love and be a good team

with my beloved husband.

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I am better able to understand and accept dear friend's limits as well,

as a wife and Mother of young children (or teens, which will come soon)

has a lot less reserves and time for friends when 

her family is needing her. 

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And I am learning to communicate with close friends more

of what I can and can't do in terms of my own

inward reserves.

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I did not know that this would be one of the big lessons of my 30s but

now I see that it really was and is really, actually, quite freeing 

to see.