Layers of goodbye

 

Two nights ago I had
a very lovely meal
with a dear friend.
*
Yesterday was my last day of work.
One of my colleagues took me out for lunch.
I took some pictures of the library
quick and hurried
and cleaned my desk
and left everything in good order.
*
I have been researching
transitions
moving
stress
processing grief and loss.
*
Last night I went to IKEA
and used the gift card I was lovingly given.
I went with one of my close
'Ukranian family' members whose
house I stayed at almost 6 years ago when I moved
back to Ottawa after my last semester
of library school 7 summers ago.
I got many beautiful and practical things.
God-willing my new home will
be filled with remembrances of many who love
both my Orthoman and I,
including things from my church family here
in Ottawa.
I may stay with my Ukrainian family
 for a few days the week
before my wedding.
*
The table cloth I was given from my church
my close friend I had dinner with
said reminded her of Pentecost
which is wonderful as
it is my church's Altar Feast.
 *
From IKEA I got two table runners
and some place mats,
two beautiful small serving bowls
and a tea towel and apron set.
Some beautiful boxes.
Things for every part of my future
home with my Orthoman.
*
I hope to have many dinner parties and teas
and other things.
I have told my Mom I dream of her
visiting sometime and
being able to show her the
incredible lavishment of love in
things to adorn my home.
*
I have been listening to
Ancient Faith Radio
at work;
I listen to Slavonic music
and some CDs from monasteries
at home;
I listened to Mozart's Requiem
a few weeks back.
Music can really help in transitions.
*
Sometimes the grief of things stuns me to silence;
I have gone through periods where
I have not listened to any music;
grief if turned towards God will
deepen us and change us;
I have been slowly growing over the
years in a more quiet
musical listening life.
I find it good for me.
*
I still need some quiet classical
music to play during Orthoman
and I's reception meal.
Any suggestions??
*
I fly home to Michigan in a few hours.
All my candles on my buffet are
lit in prayer.
I will be flying home while
my church is having liturgy for
St. Peter and Paul.
It is a special feast
and I am really sad to miss it at my church.
The layers of events
and goodbyes
and transitions and beauty
and love
are all needed
all good
sometimes overwhelmingly hard
and all I pray blessed by God.