Thankful

I am still home in Michigan.

The insomnia has continued to the point that

this morning

I made breakfast and then went back to bed.

Got up again later, ate and soon went back to bed.

What I did not remember is that when I got up in the morning

I had put the kettle on for tea.

A kettle I have never gotten used to,

that would not snap shut like mine

and today I made a significant mistake.

I forgot I put it on all together.

The part that closes over the spout must not of closed properly

and I never heard it boil; my sister and brother-in-law

never heard it either.

*

My Dad found it -

thank God for His protection -

the was burner still on (!)

the water (it had been a full kettle)

boiled out,

the porcelain on the kettle actually burnt on

to the oven burner.

This is a mistake I never wanted to make;

not only was it a fire hazard...

*

Not my most shining moment.

So why tell you about it?

*

Because it impressed me again in what I have seen

in my Father.

*

I went to make lunch, thought tea would be nice

and instantly remembered that I was making tea

at 8 this morning

looked over, and there was no kettle, just the burner ring

and crumb tray.

*

I immediately put on my jacket, scarf, shoes

and went to my Dad's shop.

(My Dad is a professional painter of houses and

paints the doors, cupboards, and such things

in his shop which is near by to the house.)

*

I told him I realized what happened and asked about it.

Not a hint of reproach.

No condemnation.

Yes, the kettle is now in the trash.

The burner has porcelain seared on to it that my Dad

has tried to remove.

I of course confessed to the deed and I am sure

he knew I did it anyway.

When I said I could buy a new one,

he said

"Just worry about getting a job."

*

Whenever I have read about St. Silouan's father

and how gentle he was

how slow to reproach

and how quiet in it all,

It has always made me think of my Dad.

*

When I see this in my Dad once again

I am so thankful.

I did nothing to deserve such kindness.

(The jeweled Christmas tree was

my Great-Grandma's.)

We have had our extended family Christmas time;

My immediate family are not exchanging gifts

until my birthday,

this Wednesday.

We will celebrate my sister Rebecca's birthday as well,

especially as it was a significant birthday for her

she is now 30.

I am thankful to be able to be home.

The insomnia should subside by the end of the week,

as I am almost done taking the medicine

that is causing it.

*

I am hoping that I can regain strength

and courage

that I will need for returning to Ottawa and job searching.

*

Meanwhile, I need to live in the present and rest.

Enjoy seeing my family.

Eating my Mother's food;

and taking time to rest from all that has gone before.