Reading and Waiting

I am reading Volume I of Elder Cleopa's

Truth of Our Faith -

I recommend it.

I think it is especially helpful for us who converted from other

Christian traditions as it covers a lot of ground

in a question and answer format

that is really cohesive and gives a lot of insight.

*

I am really struggling with my unknown future;

I have struggled with this for years

and it seems it is still a huge struggle for me.

I just want my life to change,

to have a routine again, a job to go to;

it is really hard and I keep falling and getting up again

and keep trying to call out to God for help.

*

I hope I get an answer this week;

I wish I knew what answer I wanted;

I am beseeching God to give me what is most needful.

I have no idea what this maybe;

but if it is to move I'd rather know as it will be painful

but I'd rather know

for not knowing if I am about to go through the pain is almost worse

that going through it.

*

All I can say in this is that I seek to trust what is true:

Christ in the Church

and that God in the Holy Trinity

is good and loves mankind.