Saturday, March 29, 2008

it is lent

i found out this week that my job, a 1 year contract, will be ending in 2 months. as much as i want to not be worried, i still am struggling with worry.

i also have a head cold, though i do not fully mind it, as it seems to be running its course in a strait-forward manner.

i am glad it is lent because i need to be in church more; but at the same time i am always surprised at how HARD lent is!

nevertheless, i am glad it is lent.

i have all of Holy Week off and DV i am greatly looking forward to it...

Lord have mercy!

Monday, March 24, 2008

nearest book on page 123, three sentances after the first 5

i was tagged by biss (

i am not fully playing along i admit but here is main part of it, as already posted for her in a comment...

the three sentances after the first five on pg 123:

"The second wave of imprisonment began. The first one had occured on the 15th of May 1948, with the intention of abolising the remainder of the historical political parties and the so-called bourgeious mentality. This time, however, the attack was directed percisely against God."

(next sentance)

"The targets were priests, monks, and intelletuals who attacted others to themselves, who exhibited great spiritual influence."

from the essay "The Burning Bush" by Fr. Roman Braga which is in the book _exploring the inner universe: joy - the mystery of life_ published by HDM Press, third printing, 2006 first english edition.

i was reading this one over breakfast. the long part of this book is an interview with Fr. Roman that i highly recommend reading. it gives a lot of what converts like me do not know about - what it would be like to be raised Orthodox in an Orthodox country.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Life just keeps going

The summary.

1. I am applying for another job, this one through word of mouth. What ever happens, I can see God’s mercy and grace. Only He can do what has already been done. I am thankful and strive to trust God with my life, my future, with my very breath...

2.I love my church. So much. I love my other churches too. I love my Godmother and I could go on and on and on.

3. I find it hard to balance social and alone times.

4. I am listening to Church Slavonic. At least I think I am! :) It is beautiful.

5. I find it hard to know what type of job within the library world would suit me best. I like what God has given me so far.

Okay. Back to working on the job application. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy…

Monday, March 03, 2008

home again

Thank God I am home again. I had a nice trip; it was really good to see my Oma. She is still knitting, and at 99 that is pretty good. I know that she will not always be alive, which is hard. It was reassuring to see everything still the same; other than that everyone keeps getting older.

I saw my parents, more aunts and uncles, my Oma. I was surrounded by people speaking Dutch; it was wonderful, even though i do not know the language. I grew up visiting my Opa and Oma and it is almost second nature to be around people speaking in more than one language.

And I saw a lot of pictures in the hallways, and a lot of beautiful things.

It is strange always now, though not to see Icons.

but I saw many other signs of God's kingdom in the faithfulness of my Oma's people.

and, on smaller notes, the tea pot, sugar and creamer that I got from my Grandma (not to be confused with my Oma) over Christmas are now with me; my parents brought them up, with a silver mirrored tray that I bought at an antique store when antiquing with my Grandma. They are adorning one of my bookshelves and that is lovely.

I have been thinking about identity and what we surround ourselves with. I am the type that surrounds myself with things that are linked to my family and friends. I do not have the minimalist IKEA-only apartment. I have IKEA things along side of family dishes, pictures, knitted things from my Oma, and Icons from my various Orthodox churches and from the monastery that I love in Michigan. To me these things show and tell me where I am from; my Church, my family. And to me having things I bought with my sister, Grandma and Mother; or slippers, scarves, mittens, and tea cozies from my Oma, is like being surrounded with their love. and it shows me that others think of me, that I am remembered.

How I wish Protestants knew that we can pray for those who have died! when we, Orthodox, says Memory Eternal, we are praying for God to remember the person who has died. It is such a comfort that someday, if my Oma dies before me (the statistical view would be this way) the grief will be real, but I have been given a great comfort in the church, to pray for her and to have a service for her.